everything just goes wrong

[batmanreal]

whatever it's ctb, something major going on in my life, or some meaningless endeavor; nothing goes right. a lot of it is my own fault because i'm incompetent, but still.
i ruined two attempts because of my own impulsiveness. i could be dead and at peace, but i was too stupid and desperate.
i recently moved. i chose to move because the person i was living with made my life much worse. i feel better now that i'm away from them, but now i have a lot of expenses to worry about at my new place. i knew that would be the case, but i thought it'd be better overall (i assumed that i'd at least feel better), so i went for it. i'm sure i'd feel significantly worse at my old place, though. i don't know. i probably should've just stayed, i'd have a lot more money rn.
my favorite band is coming to my city soon. i've never seen them live (i've never been to any concert or festival). i've dreamt about seeing them live for most of my life, but i don't think it'll happen. i have no one to go with because i have no friend and i have no way of getting there. the festival tickets are quite expensive. i'd drop the bag on tickets, but it's really not an option anyway. seeing them before i died was something i've always wanted, but it seems that'll never happen.