Saponification
A piece of nothing
- Jun 27, 2024
- 165
Then you see it right in front of you—or in you, however you wanna look it—like God has a personal vendetta against you. Then, you feel special. Not the good kind of special, where you think "I'm better than anyone therefore I deserve more", but rather, "I'm worse than anyone therefore I deserve more".
As for me, it's not about the suffering not having meaning. It's about my ego making me feel like the center of the universe whilst being simultaneously fucked for years. Every day that I don't fill the void inside of me, the hole I'm trapped in gets deeper, like quicksand that leads to your death... so exactly like quicksand, I guess.
When I imagine myself having everything I want, I still don't feel like I'd be "filled". So, for me, it's not that there's no light at the end of the tunnel, but rather the tunnel doesn't have another side, it just ends. Which would make it more like a hole rather than a tunnel. And as we all know, most holes are just graves.
As for me, it's not about the suffering not having meaning. It's about my ego making me feel like the center of the universe whilst being simultaneously fucked for years. Every day that I don't fill the void inside of me, the hole I'm trapped in gets deeper, like quicksand that leads to your death... so exactly like quicksand, I guess.
When I imagine myself having everything I want, I still don't feel like I'd be "filled". So, for me, it's not that there's no light at the end of the tunnel, but rather the tunnel doesn't have another side, it just ends. Which would make it more like a hole rather than a tunnel. And as we all know, most holes are just graves.
