Everything hurts so much and I’m just so tired

[zeldalover]

Like the title says. OCD is a fucking death sentence, and when I'm dealing with another OCD episode on top of a major depressive episode I want to explode. It's like two inner voices just constantly screaming at me. I'm already so tired and literally already hearing voices and seeing hallucinations from how sleep deprived I am, I can't stop crying, and my hands can't stop bleeding from how raw they are. I just can't stop. And that's all I want. I need it to just stop.

 

[natali4]

I'm sorry I feel you. I hope things get better for you and you the peace you deserve.

 

[zeldalover]

I'm sorry I feel you. I hope things get better for you and you the peace you deserve.

I wish that for you too. I hate that this is life.

 

[lookingforsanctuary]

That sounds so distressing. I hope you find your way through.

 

[zeldalover]

That sounds so distressing. I hope you find your way through.

Thank you. I hope so too.

 

[unnormal9]

yes that's my chronic pain is. of course it physically hurts everyday.

 

[zeldalover]

I'm so sorry. That is the absolute worst :(

 

[TheBigBurden]

I know how you're feeling my OCD and sensory issues have gotten way worse recently and I'm struggling to cope with it.

 

[zeldalover]

I know how you're feeling my OCD and sensory issues have gotten way worse recently and I'm struggling to cope with it.

It's literally the actual worst. I'm sorry :( it sucks that we have to deal with this shit.

 

[inmyhead]

Sending all my love and thoughts to you. I know all too well how you feel. Going through a major depressive episode too, and struggling wit my BPD.

I notice your username… have you been playing TOTK? I've found it to be a great distraction since it came out.

 

[zeldalover]

Sending all my love and thoughts to you. I know all too well how you feel. Going through a major depressive episode too, and struggling wit my BPD.

I notice your username… have you been playing TOTK? I've found it to be a great distraction since it came out.

I haven't had any want or energy since it came out, but I wish I did. I've thought about giving it a try but I just can't

 

[pphinquiry]

I also have OCD (contamination/hygiene) on top of insomnia, and chronic pain. It has sucked all of the joy out of life for me.

I still have some minor hopes but mostly want to make a peaceful exit.

What kind of ocd do you have?

 

[zeldalover]

I also have OCD (contamination/hygiene) on top of insomnia, and chronic pain. It has sucked all of the joy out of life for me.

I still have some minor hopes but mostly want to make a peaceful exit.

What kind of ocd do you have?

I also, very unfortunately have contamination ocd. I also have harm ocd, and both of these have made my life an absolute living hell. It's so bad especially recently. I can't clean anything with cleaners without being 1000% convinced I'm going to do it wrong and poison people and kill them, but also my contamination ocd makes it impossible to believe that I won't give people aids or tetanus or meningitis or some other horrible disease unless I wash my hands 5000 times a day and constantly wipe things down. It's exhausting. And that's only touching the surface for me.

 

[pphinquiry]

I'm sorry to hear that. I wish I had something positive to say. Ocd is horrible

 

[zeldalover]

It's ok. Honestly what can be truly said about it? Other than nasty horrible nonsense? I'm just trying to get through every day. Although I did just take melatonin after a night of heavy drinking. Maybe it'll cause me to ctb after all without even thinking about it and all this will finally be over for me. Or maybe not. I just keep thinking that if it was that easy people would have done it purposefully by now.

 

[inmyhead]

I haven't had any want or energy since it came out, but I wish I did. I've thought about giving it a try but I just can't

I'm so sorry to hear that, I hope that passes and you get a chance to enjoy it soon.

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds so horrific what you have to endure, it's certainly such a hellish world we exist in where such torture exists.

 

[pphinquiry]

It's ok. Honestly what can be truly said about it? Other than nasty horrible nonsense? I'm just trying to get through every day. Although I did just take melatonin after a night of heavy drinking. Maybe it'll cause me to ctb after all without even thinking about it and all this will finally be over for me. Or maybe not. I just keep thinking that if it was that easy people would have done it purposefully by now.

just as an aside. See if you can get prescribed benzos. If you don't have addiction issues and can trust yourself to not abuse them, they WILL allow you to sleep. You can't use them every night or you will get addicted but if you can do one night on one night off or one night on two nights off at least you can know, absolute worst case, you will get good sleep every few nights

Knowing that you can get a good night of sleep at least once or twice a week can bring you some piece of mind

 

[Roses_and_clouds]

Like the title says. OCD is a fucking death sentence, and when I'm dealing with another OCD episode on top of a major depressive episode I want to explode. It's like two inner voices just constantly screaming at me. I'm already so tired and literally already hearing voices and seeing hallucinations from how sleep deprived I am, I can't stop crying, and my hands can't stop bleeding from how raw they are. I just can't stop. And that's all I want. I need it to just stop.

I'm sorry to hear that. Do you need someone to vent? I can listen, i have had issues in the past so it will be easy for me if you want someone to emphatize.

Do you have hand creams for your hands? If you have, try to find someone to bandage your hands for you (if you can't, because people touching can make you feel uncomfortable, if it doesn't, try to get your hands bandaided.

I have read that laying down 12 minutes without any motion (eyes closed) will make you sleep. You could try that.

And again, if none of this works out, you can always come and write again, as I said, if you need to get the load of your back, you can write if you want.

 

[Sad Avocado]

Like the title says. OCD is a fucking death sentence, and when I'm dealing with another OCD episode on top of a major depressive episode I want to explode. It's like two inner voices just constantly screaming at me. I'm already so tired and literally already hearing voices and seeing hallucinations from how sleep deprived I am, I can't stop crying, and my hands can't stop bleeding from how raw they are. I just can't stop. And that's all I want. I need it to just stop.

I am so sorry to hear this. Have you already tryed some types of therapy/mediactions? Wish you all the best anyways

 

[zeldalover]

just as an aside. See if you can get prescribed benzos.

I have thought of this, and I've been incredibly tempted to for this reason. My doctor did prescribe me hydroxyzine so that helps, but I have to take higher doses for it to help me sleep and stay asleep and even then it's not a guaranteed, but I have been considering asking her for something stronger.

I'm sorry to hear that. Do you need someone to vent? I can listen, i have had issues in the past so it will be easy for me if you want someone to emphatize.

Do you have hand creams for your hands? If you have, try to find someone to bandage your hands for you (if you can't, because people touching can make you feel uncomfortable, if it doesn't, try to get your hands bandaided.

I have read that laying down 12 minutes without any motion (eyes closed) will make you sleep. You could try that.

And again, if none of this works out, you can always come and write again, as I said, if you need to get the load of your back, you can write if you want.

Honestly thank you so much, this means the world to me these kind words right now I will remember this for those especially bad days.

I am so sorry to hear this. Have you already tryed some types of therapy/mediactions? Wish you all the best anywaysI

Yes, I have just started the process of weaning off my current meds to try new ones but so far the meds I have tried and especially therapy hasn't worked very well for me. I'm very nervous about the weaning process making things that are already bad a hell of a lot worse, but also I kept thinking that if it's already felt like my meds weren't working at all then maybe I won't feel any different until my new ones take effect in like 8 weeks.

 

[Sad Avocado]

I have thought of this, and I've been incredibly tempted to for this reason. My doctor did prescribe me hydroxyzine so that helps, but I have to take higher doses for it to help me sleep and stay asleep and even then it's not a guaranteed, but I have been considering asking her for something stronger.

Honestly thank you so much, this means the world to me these kind words right now I will remember this for those especially bad days.

Yes, I have just started the process of weaning off my current meds to try new ones but so far the meds I have tried and especially therapy hasn't worked very well for me. I'm very nervous about the weaning process making things that are already bad a hell of a lot worse, but also I kept thinking that if it's already felt like my meds weren't working at all then maybe I won't feel any different until my new ones take effect in like 8 weeks.

Wish you all the best whatever happens :)

 

[Roses_and_clouds]

I have thought of this, and I've been incredibly tempted to for this reason. My doctor did prescribe me hydroxyzine so that helps, but I have to take higher doses for it to help me sleep and stay asleep and even then it's not a guaranteed, but I have been considering asking her for something stronger.

Honestly thank you so much, this means the world to me these kind words right now I will remember this for those especially bad days.

Yes, I have just started the process of weaning off my current meds to try new ones but so far the meds I have tried and especially therapy hasn't worked very well for me. I'm very nervous about the weaning process making things that are already bad a hell of a lot worse, but also I kept thinking that if it's already felt like my meds weren't working at all then maybe I won't feel any different until my new ones take effect in like 8 weeks.

Not gonna lie, your recovery process probably will be painful. But in psychology, there is a rule that after your sadness period ends, your happiness hormones increase more than usual, so after the sadness goes away, we feel so much happier than our normal state. It's a fact that gave me hope during bad times, so don't forget that no matter how persistent the bad times are, if you strive to recovery, it will pass Again, whenever you need to talk, I'm here.

 

[Ontwon]

Sorry to hear about your struggles, I've been experiencing some insomnia due to anxiety during some heavy depression. My heart goes out to you

 

[zeldalover]

Not gonna lie, your recovery process probably will be painful. But in psychology, there is a rule that after your sadness period ends, your happiness hormones increase more than usual, so after the sadness goes away, we feel so much happier than our normal state. It's a fact that gave me hope during bad times, so don't forget that no matter how persistent the bad times are, if you strive to recovery, it will pass Again, whenever you need to talk, I'm here.

Thank you! I am hoping that eventually it will work, but who even knows. Still, I'm willing to give these meds a try.

Sorry to hear about your struggles, I've been experiencing some insomnia due to anxiety during some heavy depression. My heart goes out to you

Thank you I'm so sorry that you're experiencing this too. It's the absolute worst, and I'm thinking of you too.

 

[doneforlife]

I also, very unfortunately have contamination ocd. I also have harm ocd, and both of these have made my life an absolute living hell. It's so bad especially recently. I can't clean anything with cleaners without being 1000% convinced I'm going to do it wrong and poison people and kill them, but also my contamination ocd makes it impossible to believe that I won't give people aids or tetanus or meningitis or some other horrible disease unless I wash my hands 5000 times a day and constantly wipe things down. It's exhausting. And that's only touching the surface for me.

I suffer from this. But mine is not 5000 times. It's just that I avoid anything and everything. I wash once and unless it touches anything nasty , I don't wash it. But yes , I can't use anything without washing once with handwash . Just normal water does not suffice. I don't use anything I have not washed...so yeah , restaurant eating, socializing , movie theatres etc are not a part of my life. Going out for normal grocery itself feels like a herculian task .