Venting Everything doesn’t mean everything.

[Norf I Guess]

I have every material need I could possibly have fulfilled, yet I feel so painfully empty. I long not for wealth or fame, not power or riches, but what money can't buy, happiness with myself. I'd trade it all in an instant to have a body that doesn't cause me to sob at the sight of and to unite with Willow. I'd do it even if it meant I'd pass in but a year.

Frankly, I struggle to see purpose to life without fulfillment, and I have not a doubt in my mind that both wishes are equally as impossible. I believe it would be the best course of action to end my own life, for not one moment has life been enjoyable since 2 years past and misery has been the norm.

With no reality I wish to live in, does anyone have advice on the best way to flush the drain?

 

[Tired_birth_1967]

I don't have the advice you asked for, and I think I wouldn't even if I were going through the same thing you are. In the end, we die alone, whether naturally or through our own actions.Individuals are complex and motivations are multifaceted. Some desire suicide due to lack of money, others because of a relationship, others because of physical appearance, others because of terrible physical suffering, others because of issues related to sexuality, others because of a bit of everything, others because they know that this thing is just a random mechanism that arose by chance without purpose except reproduction, repeating the cycle of birth and death (death that will also be random and almost always in terrible physical conditions, pain and suffering). I am in this last group.That's just life. Some people enjoy it, finding meaning in certain pleasures even if only for a short time, while others can't wait to simply cease to exist.