Everyone hates me

[goodoldnoname923]

I'm just tried of it everyone hates me and avoids me like the fucking plague and i know its particularly my fault i know i have issues and push people away but even when i want to have a genuine or normal conversation or even talk things out in a mature manner no one fucking will…all they do is judge me for my past or their proceived perception of me no one sees me as a human being and haven't for years and i dont want to deal with it anymore i'm tried or all the hate and abiuse and ghosting and ignoring i get from everyone and shit talk and smack talk and everything its driving me up a wall with no way out and i feel all i ever try to fucking do is make people like me and I can't no matter how hard i try and it hurts it really fucking hurts i care so much about what people think of me and it hurts

 

[tbroken]

I'm just tried of it everyone hates me and avoids me like the fucking plague and i know its particularly my fault i know i have issues and push people away but even when i want to have a genuine or normal conversation or even talk things out in a mature manner no one fucking will…all they do is judge me for my past or their proceived perception of me no one sees me as a human being and haven't for years and i dont want to deal with it anymore i'm tried or all the hate and abiuse and ghosting and ignoring i get from everyone and shit talk and smack talk and everything its driving me up a wall with no way out and i feel all i ever try to fucking do is make people like me and I can't no matter how hard i try and it hurts it really fucking hurts i care so much about what people think of me and it hurts

IMO you are really young, you don't reach 25 yo, don't you?
What you don't understand, is that ppl treat you in that way, because it is how society treats them, how you'd treat them in their same position or because they are just fuc*ed up like you are and they don't have time to carry other burdens on their shoulders.. As a man, I suggest you to apply for a degree or similar in technical fields, get job and passions and then just enjoy life. Many say that, things and money come and go, but it is not true, PPL come and go, but passions, money and things are your property, and they'll stay or they'll go, based on how you administrate them.

 

[Raindancer]

It does hurt and I am sorry you have to deal with that. I have felt the same way. I am very uncomfortable socially and every time I go out, I try so hard to talk with them about their interests, ask about their families and they never seem to ask me anything and the conversations are very short. I have complained to others and they have actually told me they feel the same way so as unfortunate that it is, I think it is just people and society today. That doesn't make it right. The only thing I can suggest is if you have a hobby or interests, that is your best bet to make friends that will listen. But it hurts when those closest to you don't listen.

 

[goodoldnoname923]

It does hurt and I am sorry you have to deal with that. I have felt the same way. I am very uncomfortable socially and every time I go out, I try so hard to talk with them about their interests, ask about their families and they never seem to ask me anything and the conversations are very short. I have complained to others and they have actually told me they feel the same way so as unfortunate that it is, I think it is just people and society today. That doesn't make it right. The only thing I can suggest is if you have a hobby or interests, that is your best bet to make friends that will listen. But it hurts when those closest to you don't listen.

No matter what i try i just struggle to make or maintain relationships because of all the baggage i carry and i can never get my life to a stage where i can actually work on myself all i'm ever trying to do is build a healthy circle of people around me and structure for myself but i can never do it because people leave over and over and i fuck up constantly and fall off the rails and i'm tried of it,i never see myself getting better i never see myself improving i never see myself getting to a stage where i can find really happiness no matter how hard i try

I'm too cowardly and inadequate to go through this alone i need help support etc but its hard finding anyone willing to help me do what i want to do if anything all people do is invalidate my feelings make me feel worse no one understands what i go through i feel like i barely comprehend it must days

I know i'm never going to have lasting relationships or enough or deep connections to find happiness within my life because of my terrible social abilities emotional disfuctionality and maybe more congentive issues i fail to understand

 

[LunarLight]

Have you tried therapy? It helps some people.

 

[goodoldnoname923]

Have you tried therapy? It helps some people.

I did try it and it hasn't helped,i've had intervention with shit before but nothing works and even so it wouldn't change me holding onto the past and all the people i've lost especially the one special to me…i've lost to much i've missed out on so much…i've lost so much time…

 

[LunarLight]

I did try it and it hasn't helped,i've had intervention with shit before but nothing works and even so it wouldn't change me holding onto the past and all the people i've lost especially the one special to me…i've lost to much i've missed out on so much…i've lost so much time…

I'm so sorry it didn't work out for you.
If you feel like you've tried everything and it doesn't get better, then it's understandable you're desperate.
Do you plan to CTB?

 

[Raindancer]

I am really sorry you are struggling so much. I can feel the pain in your words. When people reject us no matter how hard we try it's hurts to our cores. I do not think you are too cowardly and inadequate. Very few of us can handle these kind of raw issues alone. Just making sure I understand, are you speaking with people about planning your CTB? The only reason I ask is because very few if any "normies" can really understand that. Unfortunately it tends to make them very uncomfortable and they will usually try and shut that conversation down and then avoid you. I personally like to believe it's because they just don't understand and they can't know what they don't know, rather than them being horrible people. Again you should be able to share how you are feeling with those closest to you but many of us do not speak about this at all, except for here. That is what is really great about this place you can usually find someone here who relates or at least empathizes with what we are going through.

Has there ever been anyone you could speak to that listened without judging? That is a rare skill but sometimes someone comes along that does. I hope venting here helps a little bit but I know it's not the same as having those around us the most be supportive. To me it's so funny how strangers on the internet can be more empathetic and understanding than those who are supposed to love and care about us.

 

[goodoldnoname923]

I'm so sorry it didn't work out for you.
If you feel like you've tried everything and it doesn't get better, then it's understandable you're desperate.
Do you plan to CTB?

I am trying to CTB i'm just trying to figure out a way i can but it's not easy without having hands on help sadly like i've read the threads and stuff and learned bits and pieces but not enough to really to fully commit to anything really
I

I am really sorry you are struggling so much. I can feel the pain in your words. When people reject us no matter how hard we try it's hurts to our cores. I do not think you are too cowardly and inadequate. Very few of us can handle these kind of raw issues alone. Just making sure I understand, are you speaking with people about planning your CTB? The only reason I ask is because very few if any "normies" can really understand that. Unfortunately it tends to make them very uncomfortable and they will usually try and shut that conversation down and then avoid you. I personally like to believe it's because they just don't understand and they can't know what they don't know, rather than them being horrible people. Again you should be able to share how you are feeling with those closest to you but many of us do not speak about this at all, except for here. That is what is really great about this place you can usually find someone here who relates or at least empathizes with what we are going through.

Has there ever been anyone you could speak to that listened without judging? That is a rare skill but sometimes someone comes along that does. I hope venting here helps a little bit but I know it's not the same as having those around us the most be supportive. To me it's so funny how strangers on the internet can be more empathetic and understanding than those who are supposed to love and care about us.

used to have that special friend but she left because of all my horrible baggage and now i feel genuinely hopeless

 

[Raindancer]

I am sorry she is gone. My person left me too and it's devastating. I know it's easy to blame ourselves, but sometimes when people leave us it has more to do with them than us. In order to try and forgive him I try to think that he just had reached his limit and couldn't do it anymore. Some people have more of a limit than others. But I still blame myself too.

 

[sussshiroll]

I'm just tried of it everyone hates me and avoids me like the fucking plague and i know its particularly my fault i know i have issues and push people away but even when i want to have a genuine or normal conversation or even talk things out in a mature manner no one fucking will…all they do is judge me for my past or their proceived perception of me no one sees me as a human being and haven't for years and i dont want to deal with it anymore i'm tried or all the hate and abiuse and ghosting and ignoring i get from everyone and shit talk and smack talk and everything its driving me up a wall with no way out and i feel all i ever try to fucking do is make people like me and I can't no matter how hard i try and it hurts it really fucking hurts i care so much about what people think of me and it hurts

Why you care about what people think?
In my book i don't need people and i don't care about what they think about me.
They love me or hate me im not benefiting anything.
The more people hate me and don't want to engagne the better.
Get away from people and you gonna be the happiest person alive.
Cause people don't want you to be happy.

 

[goodoldnoname923]

I am sorry she is gone. My person left me too and it's devastating. I know it's easy to blame ourselves, but sometimes when people leave us it has more to do with them than us. In order to try and forgive him I try to think that he just had reached his limit and couldn't do it anymore. Some people have more of a limit than others. But I still blame myself too.

It was my fault trust me the shit i did maybe I didn't know or was out of my control but ultimately it's my fault

 

[Raindancer]

Yea, I did some shit too. But I am of the mindset if you love someone, you love them. It's not conditional. But I believe that is the Holy Grail to find complete unconditional love. Not sure humans can do it.