Venting Every time I want to write suicide notes I forget what I wanted to say and there's a big void in my brain.

[Praestat_Mori]

It's a bit weird. When I'm outside or in bed I have good words and well thought suicide notes in my mind sometimes but once I take a pen or try to write that into a word-file I forget about everything and there's a big void in my brain. Then I can't even write down most basic thoughts. Probably I really have to leave one day without saying anything.

Can anyone else here relate to this?

 

[TheMetalhead]

I can relate to that, I came to realization that I might not be able to leave a note at all. Whenever I'm out smoking ciggies and taking a stroll I have plenty of ideas, but when it comes to actually writing anything it's like a void. I can't write shit.
I attempted once without leaving a note to my family, wrote a simple goodbye to my best friend and a short note for the girl. I was hella drunk and od on benzos tho.

 

[Borderline]

When I think about what I could write, I write it in short sentences into my phone and summarize it later in a text.

 

[leloyon]

Have you tried perhaps saying these thoughts out loud and recording them? I tend to have the same thing, where I can come up with something super elaborate and detailed in my mind but have trouble writing it to the point where I considered just saying what I was thinking out loud while filming and then just transcribing it later. Is this viable for you?

 

[AnonGermany]

I am procastinating my letter to my family @.@. I am worried about forgetting things that i want to say and thank them for. I have been collecting some keywords over the past 2 weeks to help me remind what i want to say once i start writing it down.

Why didnt i Start writing yet? I think i want it to be one of the last steps before i go. I am not satisfied with my SN quality yet so i still have to play the "waiting for the delivery to arrive" game. I can only imagine the days becoming harder and longer once i finished my farewell letter.

If you dont have time pressure i recommend trying to audio record it whenever you have one of these moments where you find the words, so you can later "build" the Final Note from these Fragments. Sometimes it helps actually saying the words out loud to write something down.

Good luck and all the best ❤

 

[MyChoiceAlone]

maybe you can record your thoughts on your phone? should be a voice recorder on it.

 

[ChronicallyCynical]

I struggle to write quite what I wish to write. I don't even know how much I should express. If there's a point.

Still, I wish you luck in your endeavors, and I hope you find a way. You might even want to write down words and phrases anywhere you can as you think of them (even just a phone, on your wrist, a spare sticky note, idk). It might help you remember your thoughts. Then put them together into the final letter.

 

[アホペンギン]

Me too, it also happens when I try to vent as well as writing notes. When I come here and start writing the vent post I forget what I wanted to write about and theres a big void in my brain. I don't think I can leave a note behind if I can't even vent. I may leave a note but it will be very short and won't really convey a message.

 

[PracheenKaal_00!]

It's a bit weird. When I'm outside or in bed I have good words and well thought suicide notes in my mind sometimes but once I take a pen or try to write that into a word-file I forget about everything and there's a big void in my brain. Then I can't even write down most basic thoughts. Probably I really have to leave one day without saying anything.

Can anyone else here relate to this?

Can relate. In my mind I am able to think about a detailed suicide note. But, when I attempt to get those thoughts on a paper, I end up going blank.
I hope that I will be able to convey the detailed message that I want to in paper. Otherwise I will have to do with a small note only.

 

[thebookofdisquiet.]

I think the act itself says more than words ever could, and to be honest, answers and goodbyes are never enough for those left behind, so I wouldn't worry about writing too much or at all.