Every little thing

[MrBigSad]

I could be having the most wonderful day of my life. But the brain doesn't like Me being happy.

It's not normal to see a bridge and the first thought is I could jump off it the first thought when you see a river is you could drown in it.

I'd jump in front of a car but I don't want to drag others into my shit. Causing a crash and traumatizing, injuring and possibly killing the people in it.

The debts I owe. The words left unsaid.

I just want to be happy. I just want to sleep forever.

We never asked to be born.

 

[Nymph]

Literally have the same mindset, everytime I see anything, my brain sees it as a way to commit suicide. So when I see a fucking door knob-my brain sees partial hanging, high building? Jumping!..anything I do, there’s always suicide on my mind

 

[MrBigSad]

I just want to be happy. Why can't this world let me live. I want to be alive. My spirit wants to reside on this plain. My brain and body just want to leave constantly.

 

[Deleted member 19276]

I know, it's always like that... As soon as you think you know what you are looking for, it stops making sense.
What sucks at this point for me is that the suicide thoughts have been getting beyond that, making me feel like I can't even do that, which on it's own, leaves me feeling like a complete failure.
Fate worse than death so to say.