Discussion Ever wish you had a terminal disease?

[Ernest1964]

I found out today that some signs of brain cancer are head aches, vision problems and loss of balance. I have all three symptoms, though fairly mildly. Is it wrong that I am thinking that I may have a tumor growing in my brain. It would give me a clear physical reason to CTB rather than a mental health issue (depression) that no one but me is aware of...

 

[itsraining]

I have a lot of digestive issues ever since I was a young adult which I think is because of anxiety and depression. Because of that I experience a lot of gastritis and esophageal issues, I often fantasize it develops into cancer so I can pass without cursing others with my existence.

 

[FuneralCry]

Yes, one that doesn't cause much suffering and leads to quick death. I see those with terminal illnesses as being fortunate as they don't have to struggle in finding a way to die themselves and they have the knowledge that they'll soon be free from the curse that is existence.

 

[MyChoiceAlone]

why would you need that reason?

 

[nothingbutmybest]

Brain cancer is really rare and those symptoms are way too generic. Concussions, being tired and being stressed can cause those symptoms as well. There are also lighter initial treatments that you have to take if you want your CTB reason to appear to be brain cancer.

But I get why you would want to do it that way, you don't want to hurt the people around you by revealing your suicidal ideation as a result of depression. That's why I also wish I had a terminal disease, even if hospital food sucks and it'd take forever to be cleared for euthanasia

 

[leavingsoon99]

When I was young, around 4 or 5 years of age, I became very ill. I had to stay in the hospital for an extended period of time. Although I was in pain, it was one of the best times of my life. My mother showed me love that she had never shown me before and would never show me again. I wish I would've died right then and there. I used to envy people who'd come down with leukemia or something. I understand where you're coming from. It's not odd at all to want that if ctb is what you really want.

 

[SpacexJunkie]

I found out today that some signs of brain cancer are head aches, vision problems and loss of balance. I have all three symptoms, though fairly mildly. Is it wrong that I am thinking that I may have a tumor growing in my brain. It would give me a clear physical reason to CTB rather than a mental health issue (depression) that no one but me is aware of...

I think needing a reason to ctb is the problem, not thinking that you have a tumor. if you are having symptoms you should get it checked atleast to make sure if it's cancer or something else. for the mental health aspect I don't really have much to say i'm not a psychologist or anything but if you need someone to talk to my pms are open to all.

 

[Ernest1964]

why would you need that reason?

I don't think I NEED a reason to CTB, it just seems like it would be easier to understand for those whom I will leave behind. I imagine they might say, "Well he was diagnosed with brain cancer and the next day he decided to CTB, that's understandable."

 

[MyChoiceAlone]

i'm sorry for your loss.

 

[Done_Surviving]

Every single day, I hope that my random pains and my migraines are a sign that my body is finally giving up on me, and not just my stupid chronic illness flaring up. I want to die so badly, I want the pain to end.

 

[letmejoindeath]

Finding out I was terminally ill would be a blessing and would bring me everlasting joy.

 

[greebo6]

Frequently

 

[Duality]

I actually don't wish for such a thing. I would like, and wish for others, to live free of disease and pain, and end it all when the time feels right. I have seen people whittle away from various illnesses, and it is absolutely not a way I want to go.

The only time where I'd like to have it inflicted on me is if I had the ability to take someone else's illness and transfer it to me. I want to die anyway, so why not spare someone else?

 

[Pidgeons_Sparrows]

no need to, im already terminally ill, just mentally. this will kill me eventually, either i kill myself or starve to death on the street

 

[NeedAnEscape]

I can't say that I would want to have a terminal disease, since it causes so much prolonged pain to the people around me, as they have to watch me wither away. It would make the end a lot more painful. What I do think about are more sudden deaths, completely out of my control. Nobody can blame me for my demise, and it would be easier for people to move on from my death.

 

[donquixote42]

You could try gambling on the Covid lottery just like 99% of the society is doing right now. Prizes include cardiovascular and neurological impairments and for the lucky few a sweet sweet embrace of death. I recommend contracting the disease at least 2-3 times a year for the best odds

 

[Ernest1964]

I actually don't wish for such a thing. I would like, and wish for others, to live free of disease and pain, and end it all when the time feels right. I have seen people whittle away from various illnesses, and it is absolutely not a way I want to go.

The only time where I'd like to have it inflicted on me is if I had the ability to take someone else's illness and transfer it to me. I want to die anyway, so why not spare someone else?

Interesting thought.

You could try gambling on the Covid lottery just like 99% of the society is doing right now. Prizes include cardiovascular and neurological impairments and for the lucky few a sweet sweet embrace of death. I recommend contracting the disease at least 2-3 times a year for the best odds

I have seen video of people diving of COVID, it looks horrible.

 

[bigdipper420]

Would be very nice in my situation now that i think about it!

 

[KiraX]

Yessss because then I would have comfort knowing it would all be over soon. Would refuse chemo and just live my life as pleasurely as I could. I'd eat loooooots everyday to feel good

 

[Notwinnernotawin]

God yes. I wish I had terminal cancer or any other disease.