Envy of happiness leading to suicidal thoughts

[SilvsEevee]

Most of my use friends use marijuana and they always sound super happy when they use it. They're laughing, smiling and you can hear in their voice that they physically and mentally feel really good. Whenever they use it, I get envious of how they must feel and it makes me crave weed really badly. I stole weed from my sister a few times and it was always the best thing, she caught on and moved her room key though so now I can't get it anymore.


I end up feeling suicidal after not having it for a while or when I see my friends high. How can I stop envying them for being able to just inhale some smoke and suddenly feel happy or failing that get some for myself in the UK? I can't get it from them as they are long distance friends. I know this forum often encourages ctb but I don't want that, not right now anyway. Can anyone on here perhaps hook me up with some? I live in north west England.

I'm new here btw, not sure if that is important

 

[WhiteDarkness]

I am sorry but I don't think this is a place for you to get cannabis. I don't know if this is the most positive nor healthiest way to thinking but one way to get though the envy is just to think that although it makes them feel happy, it is likely that it is having negative effect overall on them and therefore there is no need for you to be envious of them. Drugs like cannabis only gives temporary pleasure and at the end of the day will only expose you to more risk and side effects and cause more problems for you. Try giving thinking this way a shot: We envy people who are in better situations, but if otherwise everything is the same, are they really in a better situation? And will your life improve overall if you start?

If you are already struggling with something else then in my opinion, starting could lead multiply the problems and send you on a downward spiral. If you are in an okay situation, then I think try to find something else that interests you and as the risks are just not worth it. Remember that while drugs can being temporary happiness, sometime fulfillment is what one really wishes for.

 

[SexyIncél]

Vice has a bunch of articles on UK medical marijuana. You can find a bunch more on google. Hopefully it's much safer than the regular kind. But it could be expensive enough that a trip to the Netherlands is cheaper. I'd prefer edibles over smoking, as it seems healthier

You can also find darknet resources here, but who knows what garbage they put into unregulated drugs. I'm sure people went blind from poisoned alcohol, whenever it was banned

After you satisfy your envy, maybe you'll find there was little to envy. People socially like to wear happy-face, but who knows what state of mind is producing that facial expression

I suggest doing it only occasionally at most, so the feelings always stay "fresh". At a clinic, I met intelligent suicidal people who took too many drugs, and as a result wanted to die because of their mental and physical problems. If I remember correctly, ecstasy should be only maximum once a month -- but someone took it every weekend and got extreme psychosis. Another guy was on All Teh Drugs, and blamed it for his withered appearance. Marijuana may be safer, certainly safer than cigarettes and alcohol, but I anecdotally hear that it kills memory. I don't know the truth

Hope I'm not lecturing, but I offer similar advice when recommending shotguns to blow your head off...

 

[SilvsEevee]

Vice has a number of articles on UK medical marijuana. You can find a bunch more on google. Hopefully it's much safer than the regular kind. But it could be expensive enough that a trip to the Netherlands is cheaper. I'd prefer edibles over smoking, as it seems healthier

You can also find darknet resources here, but who knows what garbage they put into unregulated drugs. I'm sure people went blind from poisoned alcohol, whenever it was banned

After you satisfy your envy, maybe you'll find there was little to envy. People socially like to wear happy-face, but who knows what state of mind is producing that facial expression

I suggest doing it only occasionally at most, so the feelings always stay "fresh". At a clinic, I met intelligent suicidal people who took too many drugs, and as a result wanted to die because of their mental and physical problems. If I remember correctly, ecstasy should be only maximum once a month -- but someone took it every weekend and got extreme psychosis. Another guy was on All Teh Drugs, and blamed it for his withered appearance. Marijuana may be safer, certainly safer than cigarettes and alcohol, but I anecdotally hear that it kills memory. I don't know the truth

if i manage to acquire it, itll be a weekend thing which sounds like alot but for weed that a pretty healthy amount. medical is an option but im scared to open up to doctors..

I am sorry but I don't think this is a place for you to get cannabis. I don't know if this is the most positive nor healthiest way to thinking but one way to get though the envy is just to think that although it makes them feel happy, it is likely that it is having negative effect overall on them and therefore there is no need for you to be envious of them. Drugs like cannabis only gives temporary pleasure and at the end of the day will only expose you to more risk and side effects and cause more problems for you. Try giving thinking this way a shot: We envy people who are in better situations, but if otherwise everything is the same, are they really in a better situation? And will your life improve overall if you start?

If you are already struggling with something else then in my opinion, starting could lead multiply the problems and send you on a downward spiral. If you are in an okay situation, then I think try to find something else that interests you and as the risks are just not worth it. Remember that while drugs can being temporary happiness, sometime fulfillment is what one really wishes for.

I try to tell myself that but I want it regardless..

 

[SilvsEevee]

Today was a lil better, my friends are high like always and I still kinda want it but i'm not feeling suicidal so thats really good!

 

[krxbs]

hello & welcome to sasu!! no worries, i think there are few people here who actively encourage the act of ctb. at least from my experience here, it's more about acceptance and understanding rather than anyone pushing you to do anything.
i'm afraid i can't help you with getting any drugs but i'm glad you aren't suicidal at least. if you think having access to weed would help your situation then i hope you can get ahold of some of it soon. best of luck and please stay safe!

 

[SilvsEevee]

hello & welcome to sasu!! no worries, i think there are few people here who actively encourage the act of ctb. at least from my experience here, it's more about acceptance and understanding rather than anyone pushing you to do anything.
i'm afraid i can't help you with getting any drugs but i'm glad you aren't suicidal at least. if you think having access to weed would help your situation then i hope you can get ahold of some of it soon. best of luck and please stay safe!

I managed to find the key to my sisters room and got high today and am feelin gud ^^ not sure if enabling is really whats right for me or not but i feel good for now at least