
feels_like_rain
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
- Sep 29, 2021
- 74
Wondering if anyone else has their method planned out and ready, but not planning to do it anytime soon?
I know exactly how i want to do it but i also realize i have a lot of living left to do. And i could never leave my mom or my cat.
But if my mom and cat were gone, i'd give life a shot, but i have my method to fall back on.
If i make it to old age and don't die of something stupid before that, i want to go out on my own terms when i feel ready and am still lucid. I don't want to be helpless and shitting my diaper in a nursing home. I want to complete some last things as an old but coherent lady and then peace the fuck out when it's time.
But i also fantasize about doing it now, or very soon. I'm not going to but the thought won't leave my head lately. Just something to occupy my mind i guess, when i have no other escape?
Wondering if anyone else feels the same way, about either of these thoughts.
I know exactly how i want to do it but i also realize i have a lot of living left to do. And i could never leave my mom or my cat.
But if my mom and cat were gone, i'd give life a shot, but i have my method to fall back on.
If i make it to old age and don't die of something stupid before that, i want to go out on my own terms when i feel ready and am still lucid. I don't want to be helpless and shitting my diaper in a nursing home. I want to complete some last things as an old but coherent lady and then peace the fuck out when it's time.
But i also fantasize about doing it now, or very soon. I'm not going to but the thought won't leave my head lately. Just something to occupy my mind i guess, when i have no other escape?
Wondering if anyone else feels the same way, about either of these thoughts.