• Hey Guest,

    We wanted to share a quick update with the community.

    Our public expense ledger is now live, allowing anyone to see how donations are used to support the ongoing operation of the site.

    👉 View the ledger here

    Over the past year, increased regulatory pressure in multiple regions like UK OFCOM and Australia's eSafety has led to higher operational costs, including infrastructure, security, and the need to work with more specialized service providers to keep the site online and stable.

    If you value the community and would like to help support its continued operation, donations are greatly appreciated. If you wish to donate via Bank Transfer or other options, please open a ticket.

    Donate via cryptocurrency:

    Bitcoin (BTC):
    Ethereum (ETH):
    Monero (XMR):
thedevilwithin

thedevilwithin

anima vestra
Oct 4, 2023
172
i don't feel anything anymore. i am a cold and hallow shell. nothing is exciting anymore, nothing makes me hold onto life, nothing means anything anymore. i wish i could just disappear and drift into the nothingness i once came from. i'm not made for this life or this system we humans have created.
 
  • Like
  • Aww..
  • Love
Reactions: an_alias, A Dream of a Dream, divinemistress87 and 8 others
xinino

xinino

Anti humanist
Mar 31, 2024
397
I can relate, Dp-Dr is hard.
 
  • Like
Reactions: tbroken
tbroken

tbroken

Wizard
Feb 22, 2024
690
I can relate, Dp-Dr is hard.
I have it too. But, can i ask you something?
I suppose that your Dp-Dr came from a trauma. Did you rationalize the trauma and did you heal from it? I think that I healed from it, but now I'm facing the consequences of my depression and the time i lost due to it. Also, for a decent amount of time, i thought that my brain became more functional and made me see more things, both light and darkness, let's say. What do you think about this? Is it a lie, that we tell ourself to hide the fact that we can't actually cope with reality, or is it the truth, and now we just see the schema behind everything and we feel so useless in this entire system?
 
xinino

xinino

Anti humanist
Mar 31, 2024
397
I have it too. But, can i ask you something?
I suppose that your Dp-Dr came from a trauma. Did you rationalize the trauma and did you heal from it? I think that I healed from it, but now I'm facing the consequences of my depression and the time i lost due to it. Also, for a decent amount of time, i thought that my brain became more functional and made me see more things, both light and darkness, let's say. What do you think about this? Is it a lie, that we tell ourself to hide the fact that we can't actually cope with reality, or is it the truth, and now we just see the schema behind everything and we feel so useless in this entire system?
My trauma comes from negative anticipation of future especially that I have long term goals also when I lose interest in everything I become empty person without thoughts, feelings and self-monologue, I wasted a lot of time due to procrastination listening to my emotions and dwelling in my pessimistic view about the world. Actually DPDR didn't happen to me that much only two or three times it was very extreme "my brain was literally shutting himself to protects me from negative thoughts and anxiety", I still have depression tho but I mitigate it recently, I become somewhat functional again, I think "healthy-normal" man has capabilities to cope in the system if he follows the herd, I don't like to convince myself by mainstream thoughts or what you would like to call lies, I don't like to commit "philosophical suicide", I have my own ideas and perspective about life, that I deeply believe on as true, and I try to coexist those beliefs with my reality. I think I accepted the dark aspect of life by reading Georges Bataille writings, life has a good side that I still appreciate and experience like love.
 
  • Like
Reactions: divinemistress87 and tbroken
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
48,191
I also see myself as not meant for existing and wish I could just disappear into nothingness, in my case all I wish for is to erase my existence so it's like I never existed at all. But anyway best wishes, I hope that you eventually find what you search for.
 
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: thedevilwithin and xinino
thedevilwithin

thedevilwithin

anima vestra
Oct 4, 2023
172
I also see myself as not meant for existing and wish I could just disappear into nothingness, in my case all I wish for is to erase my existence so it's like I never existed at all. But anyway best wishes, I hope that you eventually find what you search for.
you as well <3
 

Similar threads

Lou_Charthethird
Replies
13
Views
664
Suicide Discussion
idksympxthy
idksympxthy
loslassen
Replies
0
Views
197
Suicide Discussion
loslassen
loslassen
MrHyde
Replies
1
Views
167
Suicide Discussion
betternever2havbeen
B
loserpilled
Replies
0
Views
156
Suicide Discussion
loserpilled
loserpilled
The Disqualified
Replies
1
Views
208
Suicide Discussion
singingcrow
singingcrow