I think we all here on sasu do suffer from mental pain and some also from physical pain but do you all also somehow feel completely bored? I mean when I wake up and all the mental pain starts to torture me, at some point throughout my day I ask myself why am I still alive? My day is either filled with the symptoms of my mental illnesses or total boredom. I think I'm really now at a point where my brain signals to me that its time to ctb. All the things I could do to prolong my life like for example watching series, writing, sometimes drinking a good whisky, reading about history, listening music - all these things aren't anymore able to somehow fill the emptiness.
Hangman.
Student
- May 22, 2025
- 158
This is one of the most relatable things I have read in my life.
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 45,321
I really understand, I also find it so torturous to exist and all I want is to be gone, I just want to never suffer ever again, existing to me is just so undesirable and futile, it's just waiting to die, I suffer simply from being burdened with this existence I just always saw as the most terrible mistake and I wish I never suffered more than anything.
Agree. Some people can keep finding new things to keep them interested in living but for others it just becomes "been there done that" 
yeah i enjoy nothing now. I used to enjoy a lot. Life can actually be amazing. But it can also be complete pain.
And I knew it. I've been here before. And I didn't protect me and my family from returning.
And I knew it. I've been here before. And I didn't protect me and my family from returning.
I'm on autopilot for most of the day.
Wake up -> Work -> Sleep
Do what assigned, don't make connections, speak only when necessary, keep your head down, show minimal emotions...
It's a mind-numbingly boring cycle but my brain tends to cause troubles if I give it control so whatever.
Hopefully I'll get to the edge and jump off soon because this shit is exhausting lol.
Wake up -> Work -> Sleep
Do what assigned, don't make connections, speak only when necessary, keep your head down, show minimal emotions...
It's a mind-numbingly boring cycle but my brain tends to cause troubles if I give it control so whatever.
Hopefully I'll get to the edge and jump off soon because this shit is exhausting lol.
Can relate to all of this, but i have not found the ideal method to cbt yet
lifelite
Member
- Dec 8, 2023
- 48
I'm just bored all the time too. And sometimes very anxious aswell. Sleep -> Annoying job -> too tired to socialise on dumb old 2d online game, so just lurk -> go to bed -> annoying jo..
Very much thinking the same; why I didn't ctb earlier. Day after day the reality hits me harder and harder; there's nothing left for me, but to ctb.
Very much thinking the same; why I didn't ctb earlier. Day after day the reality hits me harder and harder; there's nothing left for me, but to ctb.
unluckysadness
Wizard
- Jul 9, 2025
- 675
Exactly the same. I could have written these words. All day long I repeat these words in my head - something like "shit !" or "fuck ! or "it sucks" (I'm french so words are different but it's the same shit). I'm so tired I almost got bored watching one of my favorite movies (BTTF2) and it convinced me that something has changed in my mind. I think I'm very close to ctb now.
Raven2
Arcanist
- Dec 1, 2022
- 472
I find everything boring. I read the news everyday and that depresses me with all the terrible crimes that are committed and the state of the country and the world. I'm sick of scrolling on social media and seeing the same old shit. Even the tv shows I used to like I just find myself uninterested. I cant seem to find myself engaged with anything.
Hiro Uchiha
Student
- Oct 7, 2025
- 165
Relatable. One of the reasons why I don't want to start watching other series because I easily get obsessed sometimes.
Wishingforadream
Member
- Sep 28, 2025
- 6
Yes extremely relatable. I've tried to find anything I enjoy and that's extremely limited and dwindling day by day. Most of anything I do is just to pass the time and distract myself.
RosebyAnyName
Staring at the ceiling for 6 hours
- Nov 9, 2023
- 306
My hobbies and interests were often the only things in my life that kept things exciting. I can't form relationships, and I don't have any other goals that are feasible or rewarding. However, now even my hobbies are starting to feel boring and unrewarding. Nothing is worth doing anymore. I always kept myself busy to push away the numbness but now it's no longer working and I don't really have anything else to look forward to. Life is too empty now, there isn't anything left worth doing and it's only going downhill so why stay any longer?
