I felt very weak and dizzy because I haven't eaten for 5 days straight, I got really pale and wobbly and my friends were with me, we went to get lunch but they start lecturing me about taking care of myself. I know they worry but i can't bring myself to care. I just find it annoying. They were saying if I'm really uninterested in what they have to say, they won't make me eat lunch, but I just ignored them, I didn't know how to reply. Eventually, we got some food and I bit into my sandwich and I started crying?? I don't know why, but my eyes got all watery and I just fell into my friend and started crying pretty badly. It was so embarrassing and a few people were looking at me and my other friends were just staring not knowing what to do. But the thing is, I don't even know why I cried?? That makes me think my emotions are stupid and unreasonable. It felt good to cry but I don't think I'll let it happen again
Here's the thing.
Sometimes lifestyle - including diet - can impact your mood. The body and brain are complex after all, and your mental and physical state are interlinked. Not eating for five days can be really taxing on the body, which can in return mess up your emotional state, sometimes in weird ways, and sometimes with delayed effect.
While their nagging I'm sure is frustrating -- I don't like being lectured by my flatmate on what I should eat and how I should live either --, your diet
might (I'm not saying that it is, but it could) be affecting your overall mood and mood stability. The apathy is understandable, especially when mood and energy are down, and it does tend to come with the desire to not want to live.
It does suck that it often results in undesirable and hard-to-explain reactions.
I don't think it's something you need to be embarrassed about - emotions can be a volatile thing -, but it's not my place to say. It might be cathartic to cry, especially after a period of numbness or an inability to express emotions, vent, or say anything. I can't guarantee that it won't happen again; but maybe a little bit of mandatory self-care, however miserable it is, might temper the fluctuations in your emotions and allow you slightly more stability.
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I do wish we were not so limited by our physical bodies, but alas, life is not so generous.
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And, as others have mentioned, emotions are complicated. A health professional might be able to give you advice on how to stabilise them, and treat your mood.
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Many people may be suffering from symptoms of common mood disorders, such as depression and anxiety, without realizing that variable blood sugar could be the culprit. Michigan Public Health alumna Isa Kay explores a growing body of evidence that suggests a relationship between mood and blood-sugar.
sph.umich.edu
There may be other reasons for crying upon biting into food after a long period of not eating, but since I don't really know your fool situation, it's hard to guess. And thus hard to give advice to. Seeing a professional would probably help more though, so yeah, take the advice of the peeps above. I can only guess based on my limited knowledge.