Venting Eating disorder and self-harm

[huxIey]

I hate having an eating disorder. It's actively consuming my life, making me isolate myself to exercise, to diet and plan meals, and for what? I'm not even fat, it's just something I've had for years and has never been taken seriously. I feel like men with eating disorders will never be taken seriously, so I just feel weak and pathetic.

My self-harm issues on the other hand have made me feel unlovable. I feel no one will ever look at me without disgust when seeing my scars.

I'm so tired and drained. I sometimes just think that I'll starve until I reach a point that I have to be hospitalized and people finally care about me as I'll look actively sick.

I'm also considering committing after I reach a certain weight because I feel like this eating disorder will leave me with nothing else.

 

[imontheloose]

I developed an eating disorder out of my lack of purpose in life. I have consistently needed obsessions for my brain to persist in its being for another year or so. Once I reach my ugw, I have lost my purpose. The purpose is nothing and meaningless, but to my brain, it feels valuable so it keeps me here. It's pathetic knowing my life continues for a number on a scale, but I have nothing else.

I agree, males with eating disorders are not considered ill by those around them. It's a shame. Hey-ho. Such is life. I wish you peace.