
everlastinghistory
Member
- May 5, 2022
- 86
I don't plan on being anywhere near where I live when I commit. I won't have access to anything that needs to be bought too far in advance.
I'm terrified of failing and what might come after that. I can't fail at this. This isn't a game anymore (not that it was ever a "game" but y'know). This is more real than it's ever been to me even when I attempted previously. Every time I attempted in the past I had something even if it was only one thing that held me back from being able to go through with it all the way. This time there is nothing. I have nothing. Nobody cares enough to try and stop me and nobody would care once it was done either.
I'm tired of living like this. It's not even a life at this point. It's just constant misery with brief moments of distraction that never last more than 10 or 15 minutes.
I lost the last thing that was stopping me. There's nothing left. I just wanna die in peace and hope somehow the universe aligns perfectly and allows me to reincarnate to a timeline where things could end okay… And even if it can't: Nothingness would be better than this anyway. Anything would be better than this.
I just don't know how to end this without a million risks of failing. All the easy to access methods seem high in failure rates.
I'm terrified of failing and what might come after that. I can't fail at this. This isn't a game anymore (not that it was ever a "game" but y'know). This is more real than it's ever been to me even when I attempted previously. Every time I attempted in the past I had something even if it was only one thing that held me back from being able to go through with it all the way. This time there is nothing. I have nothing. Nobody cares enough to try and stop me and nobody would care once it was done either.
I'm tired of living like this. It's not even a life at this point. It's just constant misery with brief moments of distraction that never last more than 10 or 15 minutes.
I lost the last thing that was stopping me. There's nothing left. I just wanna die in peace and hope somehow the universe aligns perfectly and allows me to reincarnate to a timeline where things could end okay… And even if it can't: Nothingness would be better than this anyway. Anything would be better than this.
I just don't know how to end this without a million risks of failing. All the easy to access methods seem high in failure rates.