Dying isn’t scary to me, but figuring out how to die is

[dimlight]

I'm not really afraid of death. I'm so numb that if someone told me I was going to drop dead in 5 minutes, I'd feel a bit anxious but that's about it. The scary part is figuring out how to die without pain. I'm okay with some pain but I wouldn't want it to last for too long, which is why hanging stresses me out. People have mixed feelings about drowning, so that worries me too. I would jump but I'm worried about the tiny chance I'd be laying there consciously, feeling my bones break and my brain leaking out of my head. I wish I could crack the SN code; I'd take it in a heartbeat and be done with this bullshit. How ironic that the perfect method is shrouded in mystery. I don't know how much longer I can deal with all this. I just want to go peacefully.

Anyone else feel the same way?

 

[dragonofenvy]

I could shoot myself if I wanted but the thought of ending so suddenly scares me. I had thought of renting a garage and burning charcoal in there in the hopes that I could go out peacefully over a long period I feel like that for all the suffering we've endured we deserve that much.

 

[dirkw83]

Yes I feel the same, it is sad that mankind has been around for thousands of years and we're still not cultured enough to have more than a barbarically dogmatic view on suicide.

 

[dimlight]

I could shoot myself if I wanted but the thought of ending so suddenly scares me. I had thought of renting a garage and burning charcoal in there in the hopes that I could go out peacefully over a long period I feel like that for all the suffering we've endured we deserve that much.

How long would it take and how painful is it? I'm the opposite; I want to go out quick and painless (or slightly painful if necessary) but I'm willing for it to be gradual if there was minimal pain. I'd love to shoot myself in the head if I could get ahold of a gun.

 

[pleaseletmeleave]

I feel your pain. I feel like I'm stuck in this miserable existence because of how hard the world has made it to get SN. I don't know what I'm going to do if I can't end up finding it.

 

[dragonofenvy]

How long would it take and how painful is it?

I've not done a test run. I've been too anxious to try. I wish I wasn't.

 

[ZeroRedz02]

How long would it take and how painful is it? I'm the opposite; I want to go out quick and painless (or slightly painful if necessary) but I'm willing for it to be gradual if there was minimal pain. I'd love to shoot myself in the head if I could get ahold of a gun.

You couldn't even be sure to shoot yourself to head and instantly dying, that is not credible a guy who is a "a gunsmith owner and was posting in the forum" was recommending to shooting above the ear, but still not sure if the right one or the left one, probably the first.

 

[dimlight]

I feel your pain. I feel like I'm stuck in this miserable existence because of how hard the world has made it to get SN. I don't know what I'm going to do if I can't end up finding it.

My exact position right now as well. Wishing you luck, friend.

 

[pleaseletmeleave]

My exact position right now as well. Wishing you luck, friend.

Same to you . I'm sorry you're stuck in the same position.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand as all I want is to cease existing painlessly, I'd be long gone if I could access a painless poison so finally I can be at peace from this terrible, torturous existence that I just always saw as a mistake.

I just always suffer so much from how that is denied for me with the suffering and torture of existing seen as to force and prolong no matter what in this horrific anti-suicide world, what is terrifying to me is how trying to cease existing going wrong and leading to more torture and suffering, I just want to never suffer again and there's just so much terrible cruelty in how we exist in a world where it's a crime wanting to cease existing peacefully, I hope you find peace.

 

[Ben 111]

Seems you have been feeling this way for a long time

I understand as all I want is to cease existing painlessly, I'd be long gone if I could access a painless poison so finally I can be at peace from this terrible, torturous existence that I just always saw as a mistake.

I just always suffer so much from how that is denied for me with the suffering and torture of existing seen as to force and prolong no matter what in this horrific anti-suicide world, what is terrifying to me is how trying to cease existing going wrong and leading to more torture and suffering, I just want to never suffer again and there's just so much terrible cruelty in how we exist in a world where it's a crime wanting to cease existing peacefully, I hope you find peacway

 

[brokennsad]

I agree! Surviving the attempt is even scarier with all the consequences. Just wish I could die n my sleep n be done once n for all. I hear people live til they're in the100's. Wtf. Why would anyone want that? God supposedly cares about human suffering but stands by n watches. When is he gonna step in. Such bs.

 

[m3nhera]

I'm not really afraid of death. I'm so numb that if someone told me I was going to drop dead in 5 minutes, I'd feel a bit anxious but that's about it. The scary part is figuring out how to die without pain. I'm okay with some pain but I wouldn't want it to last for too long, which is why hanging stresses me out. People have mixed feelings about drowning, so that worries me too. I would jump but I'm worried about the tiny chance I'd be laying there consciously, feeling my bones break and my brain leaking out of my head. I wish I could crack the SN code; I'd take it in a heartbeat and be done with this bullshit. How ironic that the perfect method is shrouded in mystery. I don't know how much longer I can deal with all this. I just want to go peacefully.

Anyone else feel the same way?

You just put my feelings into words, and most of the time even when "normal" people say they're scared of death, most people are just scared of the process leading up to it rather than death itself. The process can be painful, scary, it might not even work, then all the other bullshit in life you have to worry about when it comes to suicide, etc etc. And the uncertainty only leads to more worry, that is what most people are truly scared of. Mainly pain though.

 

[Lucifer’s Son]

I'm not afraid of death itself beyond some fear that it'll be overly painful, but I am afraid that suicide might mess up where I want to go after this body's death. (I'm spiritual, and there's something I'd like to specifically achieve through reincarnation.) I'm in a place right now where I still want to ctb anyway, which is why I'm here as a member instead of lurking, and I'm hoping that I will either be able to finesse the next life I want or that one of the spirits I work with will be merciful towards my pain.