dying is scary

[angelstagnating]

ive thought of killing myself for years but as hypocritical as it is to say this i find death scary, not what comes after death i dont care about that as i want to die as soon as possible but i'm scared about the pain…. its scary thinking that if i dont suceed my life will be a living pain physically or ill be seen differently. thats kinda something thats preventing me from just killing myself so honestly i'm just trying to be as self sabotaging as possible and fuck up my body so i'll get some kind of sickness and ill be able to die because of that

 

[Victim.Of.Life]

not what comes after death i dont care about that

I wish I could say that. I don't care about the dying itself, just what comes after it.
Funny how we all come here for the same reason (because we want to ctb) but all have different fears.

 

[FuneralCry]

Failing a suicide attempt is certainly what sounds so horrible to me, I also don't fear death itself, I just fear this existence, in fact I see death as being the only relief for me as I believe we just cease existing after this, it's just so inhumane how we are denied options of peaceful and guaranteed methods. I hate how we exist in a world where suicide is purposely made as difficult as possible, your feelings really are understandable.

 

[90starve]

ive thought of killing myself for years but as hypocritical as it is to say this i find death scary, not what comes after death i dont care about that as i want to die as soon as possible but i'm scared about the pain…. its scary thinking that if i dont suceed my life will be a living pain physically or ill be seen differently. thats kinda something thats preventing me from just killing myself so honestly i'm just trying to be as self sabotaging as possible and fuck up my body so i'll get some kind of sickness and ill be able to die because of that

it's completely understandable that you feel this way - our societies have worked to warp the idea of death to be horrific and scary, but it doesn't have to be. i hate that reliable methods have been stolen from us <3

 

[wristcutangel]

Death itself doesn't sound too scary to me, but the idea of failing and messing up my life even more is really, really, really scary to say the least.

 

[USER80709]

Todos temem a morte, mas por motivos diferentes, e quem diz que não está mentindo.

 

[TAW122]

This is understandable as with living things the damn SI (survival instinct) always impedes and makes the wanting to die more difficult than it should be.

 

[Sweet Tart]

I almost hate myself enough to not care about what happens if I fail- almost. I am not okay with the idea of living with brain damage. The idea of physical health consequences is somewhat more tolerable to me but still a huge barrier to feeling comfortable with a risky method.

The idea of getting diagnosed with a terminal illness or an acutely fatal condition seems comforting in the abstract and I've wished for it many times. Of course the reality would be more complicated in unexpected ways, but it's still a comforting thought.

 

[The anhedonic one]

I'm at the point now where living is more frightening than any fears of dying.

 

[peachchildtenshi]

Im kind of a similar situation, in death, you cant really know what happens afterward, so you cling on to something that you hope to be true in the end and failing is one of my major concern in trying to end it all. Once that happens, people suddenly start trying to 'care' for you.In reality, no one cares about my sh behaviour, they've all seen it, friends and families, doesnt matter.I hope when my ctb occurs i dont have to deal with them anymore.
i dont want to be saved nor cared for as I have no more purpose in life .