Drunk again

[somebodyfromeast]

I hate myself. Hate my life. Hate everything arounds me.
I can't sleep, can't thinking, can't be focused.
Usually im calm and rational. I have my tasks what i need to do before using my method and leave this shit. Im working for this pedantly and step by step.
But im feeling worst day by day. It's hard for me to contain my emotions. I wanna scream. I wanna cry. But i can't.
Another shot of vodka to keep going.
Sorry about my weakness, community.
But I can't do this life anymore.

 

[TBONTB]

I hate myself. Hate my life. Hate everything arounds me.
I can't sleep, can't thinking, can't be focused.
Usually im calm and rational. I have my tasks what i need to do before using my method and leave this shit. Im working for this pedantly and step by step.
But im feeling worst day by day. It's hard for me to contain my emotions. I wanna scream. I wanna cry. But i can't.
Another shot of vodka to keep going.
Sorry about my weakness, community.
But I can't do this life anymore.

I understand. Do you ever try breathing exercises to get through strong emotions? Or the little exercise where you name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch? It can be useful just to calm down and get to the next thing

 

[somebodyfromeast]

I understand. Do you ever try breathing exercises to get through strong emotions? Or the little exercise where you name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch? It can be useful just to calm down and get to the next thing

Only fact that im still breathing drives me crazy!
Stupid pun, i know

No, i didn't. In my head breathing exercises to calm down its a "level 1", alcohol+ hydroxyzine - "level 10". And if level 10 doesn't work, so why level 1 will?
But maybe its not true and you're right. i should try it next time. Thanks for advising <3

 

[bipolar22]

Drinking to take off some of the immense pain you're dealing with isn't weakness. Eveyone has their breakpoint, and this is bit off topic but personalities are too nuanced to be categorized in weak and strong as society likes to simplify it. I can feel the deep burden in youre writing and its easier said than done but you deserve to be treating yourself with empathy. The harsh words like weakness dont at all reflect you as a person. A truley weak person wouldn't svsn have the courage to share the vulnerability you displayed just now. . I know it sounds hollow when you're deep into depression and self loathing but it needed to be said.

 

[BlackDoor]

There is nothing to be sorry about, I find what you have written to be relatable. I find myself using edibles for the insomnia but I know they are not available everywhere. I think it's admirable that you are still committed to the things you feel you want to accomplish and I know that can seem very hard when you are tired, and tired of suffering.

I wish you the best and a hopefully a good night's sleep.