Drinking to drown out thoughts?

[hermestrimegistus]

Started drinking again after a couple years of abstaining and I am mostly likely never going to be able to stop for more than a day or two unless I get some sort of help or go to therapy. But thats never going to fucking happen lol. Anyone else develop an alcohol dependence in order to cope? Especially with intrusive thoughts? For me, it's not even working anymore. It did in the beginning. Now I just don't have the ability to stop. And I've been having terrible nightmares like every other night. If I can even manage to sleep for more than 2 hours at a time

 

[LeperGnome]

I started drinking at an early age, mostly to cope with anxiety and have never really stopped. Also abused every substance I could get my hands on. I'm sober at the moment, went through detox, months of rehab. In my current mental condition I'm wondering why I ever stopped in the first place. It's the only thing that gets rid of the constant droning in my head.

 

[TimetoGo!]

have you tried any sleeping meds?

 

[hermestrimegistus]

have you tried any sleeping meds?

like, recreationally? Lol. Or do you mean some placebo bullshit like melatonin? Haha.

I would experiment if I could get my hands on them. I only know two dealers. One lives a couple houses down but he doesn't sell anything hard

I started drinking at an early age, mostly to cope with anxiety and have never really stopped. Also abused every substance I could get my hands on. I'm sober at the moment, went through detox, months of rehab. In my current mental condition I'm wondering why I ever stopped in the first place. It's the only thing that gets rid of the constant droning in my head.

I started drinking around 15. Stopped around 23 or 24 I can't remember exactly for sure. Always connected drinking to being in position where somebody kept trying to get me alone and prey on me. Now I just use it to drown out any thoughts or feelings. Doesn't really work. Usually just end up crying and hating myself even more. If you managed to get sober you should be proud of yourself. I miss the days when I did not need to drink and I could actually get through the day sober. I could sleep at night. Granted I was smoking a lot of weed and eating edibles but, still.

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

I'm an alcoholic and been sober for a while now but I really miss drinking. I still get nightmares from abuse as a child and Intrusive thoughts .
Automatic negative thoughts are difficult to stop once they get into a constant loop phase.
I'm going to kill my fucking brain soon anyway, had enough of this shit.
I'm going on a huge bender for a week or 2 before I ctb though, drink a couple of gallons of vodka before I catch the bus to oblivion.

 

[hermestrimegistus]

I'm an alcoholic and been sober for a while now but I really miss drinking. I still get nightmares from abuse as a child and Intrusive thoughts .
Automatic negative thoughts are difficult to stop once they get into a constant loop phase.
I'm going to kill my fucking brain soon anyway, had enough of this shit.
I'm going on a huge bender for a week or 2 before I ctb though, drink a couple of gallons of vodka before I catch the bus to oblivion.

How long have you been sober? And uh yeah. Same on the nightmares. Like, exactly the same. I have a real problem with intrusive thoughts. It's only gotten worse in these past few years. I wish I could just silence my brain

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

How long have you been sober? And uh yeah. Same on the nightmares. Like, exactly the same. I have a real problem with intrusive thoughts. It's only gotten worse in these past few years. I wish I could just silence my brain

Been sober a couple of years now. I only stopped drinking because my skin and the whites of my eyes had turned yellow and I felt incredibly ill, I'd also run out of money .
I began drinking aged 14, and I loved it because it helped me escape my brain for a while and the symptoms of depression, ptsd and anxiety.
Sorry about your intrusive thoughts, these bitches seem unstoppable at times. Mine usually come in waves, lasting continuously for days at a time , same with nightmares, usually a nightmare about abuse.
I despise my brain because it literally seems to " have a mind of its own " because I can't control the intrusive thoughts and nightmares.
I wish we had a kill switch on top of our heads to switch off thinking and just be completely thought free when we wanted to.

 

[hermestrimegistus]

Been sober a couple of years now. I only stopped drinking because my skin and the whites of my eyes had turned yellow and I felt incredibly ill, I'd also run out of money .
I began drinking aged 14, and I loved it because it helped me escape my brain for a while and the symptoms of depression, ptsd and anxiety.
Sorry about your intrusive thoughts, these bitches seem unstoppable at times. Mine usually come in waves, lasting continuously for days at a time , same with nightmares, usually a nightmare about abuse.
I despise my brain because it literally seems to " have a mind of its own " because I can't control the intrusive thoughts and nightmares.
I wish we had a kill switch on top of our heads to switch off thinking and just be completely thought free when we wanted to.

Oh boy do I understand. Thanks. I appreciate it. Yeah thats exacty how I feel. I just want to turn it off. I would feel a lot better if I could just stop fucking thinking. Even just for 10 minutes

 

[Golden]

Yes, alcohol has always been my main method to cope with loneliness. I used to do heavy drinking on my darkest times. And I have the same experience with you, it didn't really help or do any good at the end... quite the opposite just made everything worse. I was so desperate to die but I couldn't overcome SI, so drinking was the only thing I could do. Now been pretty much sober for a year and as I'm drifting to a very dark place again, I'm trying very hard not to drink till I (hopefully) ctb in a couple months, even tho it's tempting at times

 

[F@#$]

Started drinking again after a couple years of abstaining and I am mostly likely never going to be able to stop for more than a day or two unless I get some sort of help or go to therapy. But thats never going to fucking happen lol. Anyone else develop an alcohol dependence in order to cope? Especially with intrusive thoughts? For me, it's not even working anymore. It did in the beginning. Now I just don't have the ability to stop. And I've been having terrible nightmares like every other night. If I can even manage to sleep for more than 2 hours at a time

I've done almost the exact same. I drank like a motherfucker for years. Then I just stopped for at least 5 years. Now in the last 8-10 months I've been back on the booze and I don't care to stop. Fuck it.

 

[hermestrimegistus]

I've done almost the exact same. I drank like a motherfucker for years. Then I just stopped for at least 5 years. Now in the last 8-10 months I've been back on the booze and I don't care to stop. Fuck it.

What do you drink? How often? At what frequency?

 

[F@#$]

What do you drink? How often? At what frequency?

Whiskey, 1/5, nightly.

 

[wait.what]

Oh dear God, I could have written any number of these posts. I also drink to club my stupid brain into relative silence. Alcohol makes me violently sick these days, which makes for a delightful choice … Behind door #1! Mental horrors that make me dream longingly of death! And behind door #2 … an all-expenses-paid (by me) trip to the emergency room of my choice, complete with FREE violation of patient confidentiality laws! Nothing makes you feel famous like being the subject of open gossip sessions among the staff. Remember: if you have a psychiatric or substance abuse problem, you're not a real person!