I keep having dreams about being imprisoned or murdered by people who used to be close to me
Just a few minutes ago I dreamed that my father wrote a book about how much he hated me and how much of a failure I was. He chased me out of the house with two jade scimitars, which has no real significance to me except jade is supposed to be purifying, and I associate scimitars with druids because of d&d.
I cried for help but everyone around me mimicked me and kept their distance in a ring. They were distressed too it looked like but they were too afraid to interfere.
Somehow I got away and I found my mother at a restaurant. We were planning to escape I think when random people started cutting us off. My dad in movie style revealed himself behind a newspaper and said he paid everyone off so they're on his side now. Then he quoted excerpts of his book while he pushed down my mom who stood between us and got ready to deliver the final blow.
I was bending over to pick her up, utterly freaked, when it cut like we were filming it. My mom got up and thanked me and said that was exactly the emotional response that she was looking for in the film. I wasn't even confused, somehow this seemed natural to me and even though I felt awful just a few moments before everything was fine because that new identity as an actor was instantly assimilated.
These dreams are driving me nuts. Over and over again it feels like they're confirming this narrative in my head that this entire reality is some kind of stage play, and I'm actually trapped in hell, and I really deserve to be here. Like that black mirror episode white bear, everyone is in on it, and my ignorance is amusing. I know in the past I've had experiences and thoughts that ran contrary to this model so even though my heart is sold on it my head isn't quite yet. But I'm astonished by the consistency with which any competing information is quashed in my current daily life. My life isn't bad, just isolated enough for thoughts like these to fester. But my dreams are so violent, way more violent than anything I've ever experienced in reality. It's crazy because I used to use dreams to escape reality, not the other way around.
Edit: Just had another one. There was a lot of distracting stuff and it wasn't as bad or violent but there was some. Right before I woke up someone in the dream spoke to me and said "you can't escape the lessons of your soul"
I really hope I've just been reading too much nde stuff and it's been messing with me.