Dreaming

[arslongavitabrevis]

My dreams have always been vivid, detailed and often deeply affecting for a long time after.
When I finally do get some sleep, my mind has been so busy it's processing so much hence the fucking wild dreams.
In all my falling dreams I land on the ground and then sort of float back up but my mangled body is on the ground and then it begins again.

Since lockdown my sleep pattern has been an even bigger riddle than before. 30-50 hours awake and then 10-20 hours asleep is not unheard of. During these long sleeps the line between dream and reality becomes even more blurred that when I awake I feel genuine grief and profound displacement from what I thought was the real world. Even during the less pleasant dreams, my knowledge of this world is mostly wiped until the moment just before I awake and I'm tearful, confused trying to get back to the other side.

I wonder if that liminal space is akin to death or the journey to/through death? I wonder how thin the membrane between these two spaces are and whether its the mind compensating/processing or perhaps a primordial memory or even a puncture between the two realms of existence?

I'm probably talking shite.

 

[SpottedPanda]

Have you considered trying out a regular sleeping pattern?

 

[arslongavitabrevis]

Have you considered trying out a regular sleeping pattern?

I've tried and failed. I've had insomnia since the age of 7.

 

[SpottedPanda]

I've tried and failed. I've had insomnia since the age of 7.

Sounds troublesome. Apart from my coffee fuelled psychosis and sleeping roughly one hour a night, sleep is the one thing I've never had much trouble with.

I sleep in an irregular pattern usually, often finding myself awake at 4am, but I'm generally a sound sleeper. Can only imagine what it must be like.