Venting dreading for comfort

[qwert3948]

was doing alright for a few days but today just hit me like a train. ive been a bit messy with my meds so maybe that's the effect i got from it, though i've been taking them properly for 3 days now. i've done everything i could possibly imagine to cope, ate though i had no apetite, went out fir a walk, dressed nice, smoked a cigarette, got a treat, did an offline activity, eventually got swallowed in social media and gave up trying the good methods, saw gore (???), self harmed. it's 4 am and i still feel like shit.

i was thinking of ordering food since i barerly ate today but my body feels so heavy i just don't have the energy to get out of bed. literally nothing happened and i did ever right yet.. being like this is so frustrating