Don’t know what to do

[Willow]

Im sitting in my car trying to decide if i want to go in the store and buy a gun. I'm afraid. I feel trapped. I called off work today, my job is really stressing me out.
My husband is so supportive but I he has a close female friend and I think he prefers spending time with her to spending time with me. That makes me feel like it would be ok to CTB.
My mind is all over the place. I don't know if this post even makes sense.
I've been suicidal on and off for years. I've never had the courage to follow through. I don't know what to do-
Buy a gun and get it done?- i want to but I'm afraid
Go home and face going back to work tomorrow?- I skipped an important meeting today so work would suck more than usual tomorrow
Go to the hospital? - I've been before and I hate it, but at least I'd be safe

 

[itsgone2]

I'm so sorry. I can't offer advice. I want to do the same, just go get a gun too. I also have been missing work. I'm so sorry for the spot you are in.

 

[nobodycaresaboutme]

I hear you feel like you are at your wits' end. I'm sorry. While we cannot tell or dictate you to do so, you can share your feelings with us as much as you want. Whatever decision you take, I hope you finally find the relief you need. Sending a hug

 

[kopebaldy]

Buy a gun and keep it close.

There's no rush, you have a way out now, give it some time to see whether you're sure about catching that bus.

 

[Willow]

Thank you to everyone who replied. It really helps because it feels like there is no one to talk to. I left the gun store and now I'm hanging out at a coffee shop. Minute by minute I'm debating and trying to figure out what to do.

 

[MyShadow]

Im sitting in my car trying to decide if i want to go in the store and buy a gun. I'm afraid. I feel trapped. I called off work today, my job is really stressing me out.
My husband is so supportive but I he has a close female friend and I think he prefers spending time with her to spending time with me. That makes me feel like it would be ok to CTB.
My mind is all over the place. I don't know if this post even makes sense.
I've been suicidal on and off for years. I've never had the courage to follow through. I don't know what to do-
Buy a gun and get it done?- i want to but I'm afraid
Go home and face going back to work tomorrow?- I skipped an important meeting today so work would suck more than usual tomorrow
Go to the hospital? - I've been before and I hate it, but at least I'd be safe

Maybe it's time to confront your husband about the "close female friend" and see what that's about. It may give you some clarity about what you're feeling.

While I respect your decision, I also think that you deserve to have a better understanding of the situation and hope you can find peace before considering a bigger decision.