-Raven's Night-
autistic/metalhead/wanna join the 27 club
- Jan 31, 2020
- 66
just need some help. like I'm basically have no other place for people to listen to me vent like I'm fucked up.
I can't fucking function.
why they ban me because that I overdose? I'm not hurting anyone. I keep having horrible nightmares and wake up find myself banned on a forum that saved me many times.
like kicking me into the bottom and now my legs injured my brain intoxicated and my will destroyed and I am powerless to climb up once again, especially when the sky is full of the grey clouds and rain hit my face like knives.
I thought I finally wake up from the nightmares, yesterday I made up my mind that I'll treat myself better, because I have hope and my teachers believe in me and they told me whatever dark place I have been, I'm not destroyed. like I even admired myself that I was not destroyed by those mental illnesses since early childhood and I got myself admitted to a good university despite trying to kill myself or do those crazy things.
but in the end it proves that I can't function. like I'm crying again in the teamroom and
I just don't know what I did wrong!!! please tell me if I did anything wrong! like being sexually assaulted in middle school is my fault?? so I'm triggered by those stuff, is that my fault??? is overdosing my fault??? I just want to escape...
I'm too powerless to drag my heavy body back in the rain.
I can't fucking function.
why they ban me because that I overdose? I'm not hurting anyone. I keep having horrible nightmares and wake up find myself banned on a forum that saved me many times.
like kicking me into the bottom and now my legs injured my brain intoxicated and my will destroyed and I am powerless to climb up once again, especially when the sky is full of the grey clouds and rain hit my face like knives.
I thought I finally wake up from the nightmares, yesterday I made up my mind that I'll treat myself better, because I have hope and my teachers believe in me and they told me whatever dark place I have been, I'm not destroyed. like I even admired myself that I was not destroyed by those mental illnesses since early childhood and I got myself admitted to a good university despite trying to kill myself or do those crazy things.
but in the end it proves that I can't function. like I'm crying again in the teamroom and
I just don't know what I did wrong!!! please tell me if I did anything wrong! like being sexually assaulted in middle school is my fault?? so I'm triggered by those stuff, is that my fault??? is overdosing my fault??? I just want to escape...
I'm too powerless to drag my heavy body back in the rain.
