angiegirl30
Student
- Jan 20, 2022
- 112
I was wondering if anyone's family and friends know they come to this forum? I think I already know the answers but was just wondering. If they do, what do they have to say about it?
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Faraknur
Member
- Dec 15, 2021
- 73
one of my best friends knows. for him i am going to therapy again. i made a pact with him if it does not help i am allowed to ctb.
bloodfallsfirst
Member
- Nov 2, 2021
- 73
My friend put a child lock on my phone to prevent me accessing this page, but I bypassed it. Two others know I browse it.
gottago222
paranoia bae
- Dec 21, 2021
- 275
my best friend knows but she will never look because she has a very hard life and she only wants to look at happy pictures, videos, tv shows to distract herself. i hope when i am not here she makes all her dreams come true
Al Cappella
Are we there yet?
- Feb 2, 2022
- 888
No, and I don't plan on telling anyone…
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 43,699
In my case, nobody knows that I want to leave this world and they never will. After all, it is my life and it is nothing to do with anyone else. I do wish we lived in a world where our right to die is respected and suicide is not so stigmatised.
Rational man
Enlightened
- Oct 19, 2021
- 1,484
No one knows. I would fear being dobbed in and carted off in a paddywagon. I think society would just like to see me.die slowly, painfully of my disease because of their belief in the sanctity of LIFE.
Depressed Cat
Mage
- Jan 4, 2022
- 567
They aren't aware of this specific forum, but they know I manage to get information on suicide methods and related stuff from the internet.
I find this really difficult - the people who I'm leaving behind, mostly my parents, who I live with. I've told them several times that my quality of life is so poor now and I'm suffering so much (I'm mostly housebound due to a chronic disease with no cure, and I'm depressed) and that I want to leave life now. They don't like these thoughts at all and will not let me go. But I have had enough of suffering daily. Nothing good is going to come in life from now. But I live with my parents and feel bad for them when I look at them. Doing the actual CTB while they're in the house is going to be so hard. But I need to end my suffering.
Rabhen
Isolated Loner
- Dec 17, 2021
- 147
No, my husband does not know I come to this forum. He does know I have suicidal ideaology and have since I was a preteen, long before he was even born, he is twenty-two years my junior. I do not hide the fact I am on here I just do not flaunt it.
I CAN tell you that he has mentioned to me that I am more relaxed and seem to fixate less on my miserealities (miserable realities) just recently, only since I have joined this group a little over a month ago.
He has seen and experienced the unfair treatment and bullying I receive on a continual and ongoing basis by the majority of the human population, and though I can see in his eyes his fear I will one day leave him by my own hands, he has NEVER once told me I should not feel the way I feel or tried to talk me into believing life is worth living, he simply accepts how I feel and tells me he loves me and would miss me and wants me to stay.
If he were to look at my computer and see that I am on this site, I am sure he would assume I am making plans of finality, which is why I originally sought this group, but that in itself remains mutable and I remain here still. I would not deny my involvement and would let him see the site itself and what it is I have read and responded to.
I would most emphatically help him understand that the lightening in my mood and willingness to remain here, be more relaxed and fixate less on my miserealities is absolutely due solely to my finding this site that accepts who I am, as I am and allows me to research that which I need to for my own being, without judgement.
surround yourself with better people that will accept you as you are and not try to hospitalize and medicate you into their self image
fatefulstillness
ghost.
- Oct 24, 2021
- 151
No one knows and I intend to keep it this way. They don't need to read what they don't want to hear from my mouth.
Rob1984
A day in the life
- Jan 8, 2021
- 158
Nobody knows I go on this site. It would only make things complicated for the people in my life. Even my therapist doesn't know I visit this site. Then again, I'm extremely careful talking about suicide to anybody. Even if I'm not suicidal, the topic itself is very sensitive (for good reasons). Best I beat around the bush regarding suicide if I ever want to talk about it with somebody. For example, I will talk about my depression without mentioning suicide.
forgotten15
Specialist
- Aug 24, 2021
- 332
No one knows. I wouldn't have who to tell anyway since I have zero friends, just my parents.
sadteachermom1
Member
- Dec 21, 2021
- 5
Absolutely not. My husband, best friend, and parents would freak out if they knew. They know I'm depressed and not doing well, but I have to hide from them just how bad things are. My greatest regret is chickening out after my suicide attempt at age 23 (I'm 51 now). The only reason I don't off myself now is because of my daughters, even though I've completely screwed them up. It's all so hopeless.
angiegirl30
Student
- Jan 20, 2022
- 112
No one knows in my family either. My husband would flip shit if he knew. He knows I struggle daily with the depression and pain. But I don't think he knows to what extent. I hate hiding it from him. He's the best person ever. But he is very opinionated. And this would not go over well with him.
Onthe29th
Experienced
- Dec 28, 2021
- 255
completely-done
Experienced
- Jan 31, 2022
- 211
bloodycherry
I'm not meant for this world.
- Apr 10, 2022
- 31
Hirokami
Out of order
- Feb 21, 2021
- 607
My girlfriend found out by peering over my shoulder. I didn't know she was behind me while I was on the computer as I didn't hear her. We got into a minor argument over it, but I told her I just wanted to talk to people who "get me" and didn't have any current plans to ctb. After that, she begrudgingly said she was okay with me browsing this site so as long as I don't plan anything. Thing is, she knows I have suicidal ideation and I don't even think she entirely believes me; she just wants to believe I wouldn't do anything. I honestly feel bad, though my alternative is dealing with the same copypasta invalidating bullshit that led me to this site in the first place. That or doing what I normally used to do prior: repressing how I feel.
These days, I put more of an conscious effort into hiding this site from others and only use the mobile version when I'm not sure about my privacy. I can't imagine anyone else in my life being as "understanding" (relatively speaking) as my girlfriend, especially not the person in my life who actually lost people to ctb. Luckily, though, no one knows my username here.
These days, I put more of an conscious effort into hiding this site from others and only use the mobile version when I'm not sure about my privacy. I can't imagine anyone else in my life being as "understanding" (relatively speaking) as my girlfriend, especially not the person in my life who actually lost people to ctb. Luckily, though, no one knows my username here.
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WorthlessTrash
Worthless
- Apr 19, 2022
- 2,430
Sittichmutter
Student
- Sep 16, 2021
- 164
No, and I suspect there would be shock. I guess I appear well and functional on the surface, but if anyone really looked at some behavior--like no longer planning for old age--and listened to some things I said, they could figure it out. In fact, they'd probably wonder why I'm still around. But I think the basic truth is no one around me cares much beyond what I do for them.
AloneInCollege
The one and only
- Mar 7, 2022
- 167
I told one friend about this site but not what it's called but I doubt she remembers. And I told my dad and sister I use a forum that other depressed people use. As for my depression and suicidalness, yeah I've told too many people. I think that being honest will help but it doesn't. It doesn't help me and makes other people upset or uncomfortable. I really think the best course of action is to not tell people but I'm pretty bad at that.
I only have one friend left and i guess if i say to him that i am suicidal, he would call the psychiatric or something. I dont really know.
I wish I had friends that gave a shit if I ctb. You're lucky in that respect (but that is only my humble opinion based on my experience)
nys
mors mihi lucrum
- Jun 1, 2022
- 269
No one knows I'm on this site. I don't even think anyone knows I'm depressed or suicidal. I definitely don't want anyone to find out because I'm scared of being taken to a psych ward and of people viewing me differently and avoiding me more. Also people would be more suspicious of me so when I'd be released, I probably wouldn't get an opportunity to ctb. It would also be kind of embarrassing since my suicidal thoughts and me being on this forum is a private thing. No one I know would handle it well- it would be awful if anyone found out
No, only that I'm depressed, but they are really clueless on how depressed one can be, since no one in my long family history(my father was a geneaologist)committed suicide
