As indicated in the introduction to this thread, the fact that there are people on the site suggests that it benefits at least some people. I imagine the argument must turn on what is meant by "benefit." I would like to know what the CMHA means by benefit. From my perspective, I see camaraderie, information provision, the comfort of engaging with, at least, somewhat likeminded individuals, the validation of one's perspective, etc. as decided "benefits."
Andro_USYD
Artificially happy on medicine
- Jul 1, 2023
- 136
I can't even overstated just how nice this community is, Ive found fellow philosophers on here, a few good friends one whom I used to play chess with, and I genuinely feel like I can be myself without judgement.
Never been banned for posting my thoughts like the Reddit moderators and most importantly here it's okay to feel negative emotions. It brings me comfort when I'm suicidal to just know that tonnes of other people are feeling the same way and posting about it daily. I like the realness of people on here, it's uncanny. Kind people make me feel better by upvoting what I have to say and people are consistent. Although I'm not as involved as I want to be due to uni etc. I like to help people who are in bad situations as well. I feel like on this site I can actually be heard although I've always been too nervous to try out the live chat but maybe someday.
Never shut this site down, it's where I come when I'm at my weakest even if I just browse around and find a few recent posters who are in a similar situation it makes me feel so much better. Hopefully one day I can be a moderator maybe. That guy who made a YouTube video about this site promoting nihilistic, cult-like stuff is just dead wrong and I don't think they'll ever understand because they have too much seretonin. I am autistic and have ADHD and depression so my review is that this site is 10/10 favorite place to be.
Never been banned for posting my thoughts like the Reddit moderators and most importantly here it's okay to feel negative emotions. It brings me comfort when I'm suicidal to just know that tonnes of other people are feeling the same way and posting about it daily. I like the realness of people on here, it's uncanny. Kind people make me feel better by upvoting what I have to say and people are consistent. Although I'm not as involved as I want to be due to uni etc. I like to help people who are in bad situations as well. I feel like on this site I can actually be heard although I've always been too nervous to try out the live chat but maybe someday.
Never shut this site down, it's where I come when I'm at my weakest even if I just browse around and find a few recent posters who are in a similar situation it makes me feel so much better. Hopefully one day I can be a moderator maybe. That guy who made a YouTube video about this site promoting nihilistic, cult-like stuff is just dead wrong and I don't think they'll ever understand because they have too much seretonin. I am autistic and have ADHD and depression so my review is that this site is 10/10 favorite place to be.
venomousSSërpent74
Member
- Oct 19, 2023
- 94
I'd say for me its just an easy place to vent without being judged and its easy to find people who relate to you or been through similar things as you and to provide support for them although I'm rarely on here and pop in whenever I feel heavily suicidal or just want to be somewhere I feel at least halfway comfortable being in that mindset or when im lonely.also part of me feels like i'd be able to find another friend here but that's highly unlikely and I'm just glad to be somewhere where I don't have to mask as much.
steppingoff
Experienced
- Jan 18, 2024
- 212
Yes, this site has benefited me greatly.
It's given me a place to see other people going through the same struggle, and talk about my struggles without being shamed or given false positivity or toxic positivity.
Yes, there is a drawback to a site like this, but i personally feel that the world would be worse if we don't have any place to have these discussions.
I don't like the thought of people ending their life, it brings me great sadness, but they shouldn't have to go through that alone.
19andOverdue
Member
- Jun 12, 2022
- 80
They are absolute right in their diagnosis of this site being "quite the opposite" in their view. I hold the position that suicide is existentially preferable, so even though my point cannot be argued for rationally, we have saved countless souls by limiting their suffering.
seeking2024
Member
- May 2, 2024
- 25
ive seen a lot of info here that has prob saved some ppl from attempting wrecklessly and being messed up unintentionally.
You are going to find my answer to be extremely weird. The 1st time I came to this website, I was hellbent to CTB as you say. And because I have tried and failed more times than I have fingers and toes, I was searching Google for "fail-safe methods." That is how I found the NY TIMES article which led me to you. And you opened up this entire world to me. Holy shit!!!! I'm not the only one who thinks about suicide 24/7/365! But now I have a support system that doesn't tell me I'm wrong, doesn't tell me I'm crazy, and best of all doesn't want to put me in the psych ward but YOU STILL BELIEVE ME. For me, this gives me just enough to stay alive for another day. I told you I'm weird.
fleetingnight
incapable of shutting up
- May 2, 2024
- 648
This is the reason I gave when I signed up: I think this is genuinely the only place I'm allowed to openly say how I feel without having my post deleted, account deleted, or the cops sent to my home. It is fucking suffocating not being able to talk about it. Everywhere else, I have to sugarcoat my words and lie with, "but I'm okay," or else be punished for daring to open up.
I really, honestly think it's good for websites to have policies against promoting suicide. Posting things with the intention of triggering people into hurting themselves, or trying to manipulate sad young people into thinking it's the only option they have as soon as they start struggling, is fucking awful. People who do that deserve to get in trouble for it.
But, it's gotten out of control. I got my account deleted on another site just for saying that I was suicidal. Punished for being honest about my feelings. I lie to the suicide hotline workers and put on a brave face, like I'm the ones comforting them and telling them it'll all be okay, for fear of getting hospitalized, or maybe fucking shot, by the cops. It's either this site, or shut the fuck up and drown in my sorrow.
I really, honestly think it's good for websites to have policies against promoting suicide. Posting things with the intention of triggering people into hurting themselves, or trying to manipulate sad young people into thinking it's the only option they have as soon as they start struggling, is fucking awful. People who do that deserve to get in trouble for it.
But, it's gotten out of control. I got my account deleted on another site just for saying that I was suicidal. Punished for being honest about my feelings. I lie to the suicide hotline workers and put on a brave face, like I'm the ones comforting them and telling them it'll all be okay, for fear of getting hospitalized, or maybe fucking shot, by the cops. It's either this site, or shut the fuck up and drown in my sorrow.
This is not because of the moderators or the people who run this board/site.
But I feel this site is getting and is too much mainstream (and popular).
I also don't know now the real purpose of this site. It's kind of between wanting to offer real method to end one's life for adult people who really want to. But also a site which tries to give a place where one can talk about their worries anonymously (like Reddit, bulettin boards, etc.)
Personally, I feel let down, because I could not find a way to end my life. Which is what this site seemed to be marketing itself as. Kind of like a real right to die website. Where one is "supported" passively, which is legal in countries with Euthanasia laws like Switzerland or Belgium.
I got the same treatment and experience like I did with Dignitas or Exit. They want to use your suffering and dreams.And End waste your attention, time and money (if you want to submit an application). Also gas light you that your suicide wish is not authentic and your desire. But it's because your mentally ill or your life style.
Interesting it is, that no one says that about people who choose a more unique life style like not wanting to work much. Or not wanting to marry. They would not tell you, that you are sick. But it's done by your own decision.
But I feel this site is getting and is too much mainstream (and popular).
I also don't know now the real purpose of this site. It's kind of between wanting to offer real method to end one's life for adult people who really want to. But also a site which tries to give a place where one can talk about their worries anonymously (like Reddit, bulettin boards, etc.)
Personally, I feel let down, because I could not find a way to end my life. Which is what this site seemed to be marketing itself as. Kind of like a real right to die website. Where one is "supported" passively, which is legal in countries with Euthanasia laws like Switzerland or Belgium.
I got the same treatment and experience like I did with Dignitas or Exit. They want to use your suffering and dreams.And End waste your attention, time and money (if you want to submit an application). Also gas light you that your suicide wish is not authentic and your desire. But it's because your mentally ill or your life style.
Interesting it is, that no one says that about people who choose a more unique life style like not wanting to work much. Or not wanting to marry. They would not tell you, that you are sick. But it's done by your own decision.
homesoon.
i̶t̶'̶s̶ ̶n̶i̶c̶e̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶b̶e̶ ̶b̶a̶c̶k̶.̶
- Apr 15, 2024
- 95
This webs tire has benefited me, I feel. Though it may not have everything that I'm looking for, it's bottom-line purpose--which is to offer a platform people can openly express themselves without immense worry or to provide information relating to suicide--has been helpful to me in more ways than one. In my view, this isn't a website to explicitly give you step-by-step instructions on how to cbt or help encourage you to do so. Hell, at least here, you can even mention the word "suicide" without being censored, deleted, or risk some kind of involuntary intervention.
Having no real place where I can find methods and support to end one's life after thinking through of it. It is really making me totally feel that I have no control over my life. And now no control over my own body. Something that is already coming. It's not like I would have a long live expectancy.
Man being a human sucks for me. One is controlled from birth till death by parents, then by society/tribe and government. Human rights are fake facade. Like they say Russia is a fake democracy. Same applies here in regards "human rights"
homesoon.
i̶t̶'̶s̶ ̶n̶i̶c̶e̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶b̶e̶ ̶b̶a̶c̶k̶.̶
- Apr 15, 2024
- 95
Don't get me wrong, I fully believe that people should have the choice to die if they want to do so or have the information available to them and that countries should make it an option (e.g., the US only allows it under strict medical circumstances, and even then, we've had very few in contrast actually done).
Say with the information that is available on this website (which isn't on something like the dark web, by the way), I think that it provides enough information for you to at least consider your method. No option is 100% full-proof or painless, but you can at least consider which one sounds more up your alley. When it comes down to it, it falls upon your choice, what you're comfortable with, and what you choose to do. You always have control in something like that, it's just a matter of your circumstances, whether it is environmentally, emotionally, physically, and/or situationally.
I know exactly how it feels to have the suffocating thought of, "I have no control over anything that happens to me whatsoever." But, my love, you do.
AStruggle
a clinically depressed vidya connoisseur
- Feb 8, 2024
- 40
Whenever i feel very very bad coming here makes me feel a bit better. There are a lot of people who struggle too, they usually try to understand and that makes me feel a bit better - that someone knows
ShatteredQueen
Member
- Jun 27, 2022
- 23
I am not exaggerating when I tell you that this website saved my life.
I first logged onto Sanctioned Suicide with the intention of researching the best means and methods to end myself. This wasn't a snap decision made in an emotional moment, but a rationally considered choice that I truly felt was for the best. (Well, as rational as one can be while dealing with clinical depression.) Quite honestly, I had good reason for wanting to end it all.
Despite having done everything "right"--gone to college, gotten a professional job, worked to build a life with someone I was foolish enough to love--everything was crashing to bits. Despite working hard and earning my bachelor's degree, I still wasn't earning a living wage, instead trapped in meaningless jobs that expected me to (quite literally) do the work of four people while they offered pitiful, stagnant wages and played games with my hours. (At the time, nearly all businesses in the US forced employees in my field to work as "contractors" so that said businesses didn't have to offer benefits or overtime, and they could leave their employees to shoulder all of the taxes alone. But, of course, we as employes got none of the benefits of being real contractors.)
My long-term boyfriend, meanwhile, had turned cruel and abusive. What's more, he was not only seeing someone else but was gleefully flaunting his other girlfriend. He even went so far as to move her in as a "roommate," although she never paid for anything and we didn't need help paying the bills. He made no secret of his favoritism. He'd take her out on expensive dates and buy her nice things, right in front of me, but he postponed an important occasion with my family because she had other plans and couldn't make it. (I hadn't even known he'd invited her.) When I dared to object, he said all of it was my fault, saying that maybe he could love me better if I wasn't ugly and awkward, and comparing me to, and I quote, "a retarded three-year-old." (Along with being depressed, I'm also high-functioning autistic.)
Yet I had to endure his petty cruelties because he'd convinced me to move out of state to be with him and, thanks to the job situation, I couldn't afford to leave him. That became a moot point when he finally threw me out of our shared apartment, after threatening me and destroying some things my father had left to me when he passed. At least I prevented him from sending my cats to the pound, which he tried to do. Even so, my financial situation was dismal. (Pro-Tip, NEVER agree to a joint bank account.) I had nowhere to go and I am ashamed to say that I became a burden on my family. So, yeah... My whole life was just shattered dust on the floor.
I'm not telling you all of this simply to vent or increase pathos. I'm telling you because I want you to fully understand that my desire to end my life stemmed from a truly dark, heartbroken, and hopeless place. I truly believed that there was no point in struggling on--I mean, for what? Just to work more horrible jobs so I could earn just enough to drive to my horrible jobs?--and I knew that my family, with whom I was forced to live due to the financial situation, would be far better off if I simply stopped existing. So I came here.
I came here looking to die and instead found the will to live. More accurately, I found a community of people who understood; people who didn't judge me or look at me with horror or try to bully me into happiness. Being forced to work as a "contractor" and therefore unable to afford medical insurance, I, naturally, could never hope to pay the $150+ per hour it costs to hire a psychiatric counselor. Here, however, on this website that so many "normal" people want so desperately to close down, I found people who would listen without accusing me of being selfish, weak, or dramatic. I could talk about my feelings, my hopelessness, and my fear that suicide was the only way I could ever make things right and feel free. I could admit to the darkness haunting my mind--admit that I wasn't sure how to conquer it, or even if I could--and yet no one here called me "monster."
For the first time, I was not alone. It is amazing what simply being able to talk about problems without shame or judgment can do for a person. I listened to others here and shared my own heartache in return, and in that manner we all found support.
True, there are some members of this website who, sadly, have not found healing and have instead found death. I cannot deny that there are those who were part of this community who have ended their own lives. However, the very idea, bandied about by so many experts, that this website caused those deaths is utterly ridiculous. More ships sink in often-used shipping lanes because more ships sail there. One would not blame the shipping lanes themselves for causing the sinking. Whether it is a simple fact that where there are more ships, there will be more shipwrecks. The statistics may be no higher, but the number is. Sanctioned Suicide is the same. When you have a gathering place for people struggling with suicidal ideation, then, yes, obviously there will be a larger number of suicides associated with that place because there are more suicidal people gathered there.
Think about it this way: if I were to walk by a gym and see a lot of overweight people inside working out because they were trying to improve themselves, and if, upon seeing this, I turned to you and said: "Look at that! Gyms clearly make people unhealthy!" you would know better than to agree with me, right? If people all utilize a service that is intended to help overcome a problem they all share, how could any sane, rational person suppose that said service causes said problem?
And yet, this is precisely what the experts are doing where Sanctioned Suicide is concerned. They are doing this for two reasons. First, suicide is a sensitive issue, the very mention of which causes emotional, knee-jerk reactions. In my experience, people who have never experienced suicidal ideation find facing someone who does almost abhorrent on a deep, instinctive level. It appears that the very idea of someone feeling driven to self-harm seems unnatural, perhaps even uncanny, to normal people, and that makes them writhingly uncomfortable. Yet they also feel a need to save us, and they're not quite sure what magic word or phrase they can say to put our suicidal inclinations back to sleep. The result is something similar to panic. That often leads them to be perhaps a little more impulsive and a little less logical when considering suicidal people.
The second reason is less complex: they simply do not fully understand. Oh, they can tell you all about this study and that brain chemical, but they don't truly understand what it feels like to be suicidal. That isn't their fault, of course; it's merely a fact that viewing something from the outside looking doesn't really capture the experience. Seeing the scar cannot teach you the pain of the wound.
So, the experts who want to do away with Sanctioned Suicide do not understand how much good this website has done--and continues to do--for those who have nowhere else to turn. I am certain I cannot be the only one who sees this, or the only one who can honestly say: Sanctioned Suicide saved my life.
I first logged onto Sanctioned Suicide with the intention of researching the best means and methods to end myself. This wasn't a snap decision made in an emotional moment, but a rationally considered choice that I truly felt was for the best. (Well, as rational as one can be while dealing with clinical depression.) Quite honestly, I had good reason for wanting to end it all.
Despite having done everything "right"--gone to college, gotten a professional job, worked to build a life with someone I was foolish enough to love--everything was crashing to bits. Despite working hard and earning my bachelor's degree, I still wasn't earning a living wage, instead trapped in meaningless jobs that expected me to (quite literally) do the work of four people while they offered pitiful, stagnant wages and played games with my hours. (At the time, nearly all businesses in the US forced employees in my field to work as "contractors" so that said businesses didn't have to offer benefits or overtime, and they could leave their employees to shoulder all of the taxes alone. But, of course, we as employes got none of the benefits of being real contractors.)
My long-term boyfriend, meanwhile, had turned cruel and abusive. What's more, he was not only seeing someone else but was gleefully flaunting his other girlfriend. He even went so far as to move her in as a "roommate," although she never paid for anything and we didn't need help paying the bills. He made no secret of his favoritism. He'd take her out on expensive dates and buy her nice things, right in front of me, but he postponed an important occasion with my family because she had other plans and couldn't make it. (I hadn't even known he'd invited her.) When I dared to object, he said all of it was my fault, saying that maybe he could love me better if I wasn't ugly and awkward, and comparing me to, and I quote, "a retarded three-year-old." (Along with being depressed, I'm also high-functioning autistic.)
Yet I had to endure his petty cruelties because he'd convinced me to move out of state to be with him and, thanks to the job situation, I couldn't afford to leave him. That became a moot point when he finally threw me out of our shared apartment, after threatening me and destroying some things my father had left to me when he passed. At least I prevented him from sending my cats to the pound, which he tried to do. Even so, my financial situation was dismal. (Pro-Tip, NEVER agree to a joint bank account.) I had nowhere to go and I am ashamed to say that I became a burden on my family. So, yeah... My whole life was just shattered dust on the floor.
I'm not telling you all of this simply to vent or increase pathos. I'm telling you because I want you to fully understand that my desire to end my life stemmed from a truly dark, heartbroken, and hopeless place. I truly believed that there was no point in struggling on--I mean, for what? Just to work more horrible jobs so I could earn just enough to drive to my horrible jobs?--and I knew that my family, with whom I was forced to live due to the financial situation, would be far better off if I simply stopped existing. So I came here.
I came here looking to die and instead found the will to live. More accurately, I found a community of people who understood; people who didn't judge me or look at me with horror or try to bully me into happiness. Being forced to work as a "contractor" and therefore unable to afford medical insurance, I, naturally, could never hope to pay the $150+ per hour it costs to hire a psychiatric counselor. Here, however, on this website that so many "normal" people want so desperately to close down, I found people who would listen without accusing me of being selfish, weak, or dramatic. I could talk about my feelings, my hopelessness, and my fear that suicide was the only way I could ever make things right and feel free. I could admit to the darkness haunting my mind--admit that I wasn't sure how to conquer it, or even if I could--and yet no one here called me "monster."
For the first time, I was not alone. It is amazing what simply being able to talk about problems without shame or judgment can do for a person. I listened to others here and shared my own heartache in return, and in that manner we all found support.
True, there are some members of this website who, sadly, have not found healing and have instead found death. I cannot deny that there are those who were part of this community who have ended their own lives. However, the very idea, bandied about by so many experts, that this website caused those deaths is utterly ridiculous. More ships sink in often-used shipping lanes because more ships sail there. One would not blame the shipping lanes themselves for causing the sinking. Whether it is a simple fact that where there are more ships, there will be more shipwrecks. The statistics may be no higher, but the number is. Sanctioned Suicide is the same. When you have a gathering place for people struggling with suicidal ideation, then, yes, obviously there will be a larger number of suicides associated with that place because there are more suicidal people gathered there.
Think about it this way: if I were to walk by a gym and see a lot of overweight people inside working out because they were trying to improve themselves, and if, upon seeing this, I turned to you and said: "Look at that! Gyms clearly make people unhealthy!" you would know better than to agree with me, right? If people all utilize a service that is intended to help overcome a problem they all share, how could any sane, rational person suppose that said service causes said problem?
And yet, this is precisely what the experts are doing where Sanctioned Suicide is concerned. They are doing this for two reasons. First, suicide is a sensitive issue, the very mention of which causes emotional, knee-jerk reactions. In my experience, people who have never experienced suicidal ideation find facing someone who does almost abhorrent on a deep, instinctive level. It appears that the very idea of someone feeling driven to self-harm seems unnatural, perhaps even uncanny, to normal people, and that makes them writhingly uncomfortable. Yet they also feel a need to save us, and they're not quite sure what magic word or phrase they can say to put our suicidal inclinations back to sleep. The result is something similar to panic. That often leads them to be perhaps a little more impulsive and a little less logical when considering suicidal people.
The second reason is less complex: they simply do not fully understand. Oh, they can tell you all about this study and that brain chemical, but they don't truly understand what it feels like to be suicidal. That isn't their fault, of course; it's merely a fact that viewing something from the outside looking doesn't really capture the experience. Seeing the scar cannot teach you the pain of the wound.
So, the experts who want to do away with Sanctioned Suicide do not understand how much good this website has done--and continues to do--for those who have nowhere else to turn. I am certain I cannot be the only one who sees this, or the only one who can honestly say: Sanctioned Suicide saved my life.
teddyxD
Member
- Oct 31, 2023
- 8
Yes it does it helps me look for people who are just like me and help me find the easiest ways to commit thank you.
Georg
Experienced
- Feb 25, 2023
- 263
This Forum honestly makes me feel better, even less suicidial sometimes. I am glad I found it.
damienlerone03
reject humanity, return to monke
- May 5, 2024
- 1,046
i find the forum games fun, i'm not suicidal, though if i have a heavy weight on my shoulders i feel like this is a safe place to unload
sombie
Member
- Oct 25, 2023
- 55
Well the guy is a mental health worker so that should disqualify his opinion on anything human related,these people hate patients who have a mental illness,I know because I've dealt with these 'people' and they deserve to be treated like the patients they 'treat'.
BlueCup
Member
- Apr 27, 2024
- 42
Lots of interesting content here, thanks.
Too bad products are so difficult to acquire.
You need to be healthy enough to die peacefully apparently
Too bad products are so difficult to acquire.
You need to be healthy enough to die peacefully apparently
For me SS is invaluable. I've chronic illnesses and it's the only place where I can explore my options and not end up back in a psych ward
I believe from my own personal experience this site to be helpful. Yes, there's certain threads I won't read but you get that with any type of forum. I'm from the UK and our mental health system is broke. I've done the whole "reach out for help" and the help isn't there. I've literally begged for help and still got turned away. I've rang the Samaritans for support to be told I'll be arrested for being in distress and acting irrationally. So before people criticise this site, maybe they ought to have a think of what it is like for those people in distress and feeling they have nowhere else to turn when feeling suicidal…because the help certainly isn't out there for me and that's the reason I come here instead…
I suffer from multiple illnesses. This site is something I really needed. Discovering the site was a relief. I don't think sites like this should be hidden or attacked, theres no other outlets for me in the real world when I feel suicidal.
im glad this is here. no matter what happens or what I decide to do or how or when.
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personally, it's helped me a lot, since a lotta folks here go through and understand the same shit i do n feel n believe n whatnot, and feelin alone n pathetic was a major reason i wanted to ctb in the first place, yknow? plus, there's an odd comfort in knowing how to die on yer own accord, somethin ain't nobody else understands.
ANYWAYS, YALL HEARD OF OXALIS CORNICULATA???
ANYWAYS, YALL HEARD OF OXALIS CORNICULATA???
L0neW0lf
i lost myself
- Apr 16, 2024
- 61
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