Chocomel
Chocolate Milk
- Jan 13, 2024
- 38
Because I feel like I fall into this kind of thing. And no, the reason is not like those short videos you often find. Where the videos explain that the reason smart people suicide more is because they can't be fooled by this world effort trying to hide the fact that everything is fucked up with fake happiness. These so called smart people realize that the world is fucked up and that makes them suicidal.
While me, I can immerse myself and forget my problem by diving into a world of fiction. Either it's watching YouTube, anime, reading manga, book, or playing game. My 'smart people' suicidal thought arise because now I realize that all of my problem is coming from me. Before this, I can always blame others.
And because of this realization, I also knew every solution to my problem. Like seriously. I don't wanna brag about it, but I feel like I don't need therapist or something like that. Because I already know all the solution to every problem to ever exist in my life.
So then, why am I suicidal? The reason is I'm lazy. Like I said before. Now I know all of this is my fault, and there's a way I can fix it, that means I just need the effort and discipline to fix it all. But instead of putting effort, I don't put anything at all. I just became a lazy person and ignoring all my problem even though I can fix them. Therefore by acting like that, I realize another thing. I am worthless. I think that because I'm worthless, I would be better of dead than bothering everyone that still alive.
While me, I can immerse myself and forget my problem by diving into a world of fiction. Either it's watching YouTube, anime, reading manga, book, or playing game. My 'smart people' suicidal thought arise because now I realize that all of my problem is coming from me. Before this, I can always blame others.
And because of this realization, I also knew every solution to my problem. Like seriously. I don't wanna brag about it, but I feel like I don't need therapist or something like that. Because I already know all the solution to every problem to ever exist in my life.
So then, why am I suicidal? The reason is I'm lazy. Like I said before. Now I know all of this is my fault, and there's a way I can fix it, that means I just need the effort and discipline to fix it all. But instead of putting effort, I don't put anything at all. I just became a lazy person and ignoring all my problem even though I can fix them. Therefore by acting like that, I realize another thing. I am worthless. I think that because I'm worthless, I would be better of dead than bothering everyone that still alive.
