kurikaesu
"the gods have abandoned us"
- Mar 15, 2026
- 6
i've been smoking since late 2023, before then i was already suicidal but nowhere near to the same extent as now
when i'm at an above-average high sometimes my suicidal thoughts get worse and i can spiral in self loathing if i let it happen - smoking a light amount is the only way i can get anything positive out of it, otherwise it just makes me feel worse when i all i really want is an escape
typically i try not to smoke too much socially either because i can spiral in the same way a lot quicker, which sucks because i am constantly surrounded by it as everyone i know smokes as well
when i'm at an above-average high sometimes my suicidal thoughts get worse and i can spiral in self loathing if i let it happen - smoking a light amount is the only way i can get anything positive out of it, otherwise it just makes me feel worse when i all i really want is an escape
typically i try not to smoke too much socially either because i can spiral in the same way a lot quicker, which sucks because i am constantly surrounded by it as everyone i know smokes as well
