violetdevil

violetdevil

Student
Oct 15, 2021
180
Or maybe it means I don't truly want to kill myself right now? How do you get over the fear?
 
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Griffith_NPD

Griffith_NPD

I plead of thee have --- S y m p a t h y for me
Jul 21, 2023
89
Or maybe it means I don't truly want to kill myself right now? How do you get over the fear?
Yes, I believe so. I believe once you have lost everything, feelings, emotion, motivation, reasons to live. Once you've lost all of that and you feel numb and empty, then is when I believe you should CTB, when you've lost all reason and hope of living. I don't know how you get over that fear, if you're afraid that means you probably still have feelings, and some reason why you're still living. Only reason I'm still alive even though I am numb, is because I'm waiting on the SN to arrive...
 
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Death is my goal

Death is my goal

pathetic failure
Aug 25, 2022
506
imo yes, when you truly suffering in life fear of death shouldn't be an obstacle, even if the ctb method is a bit painful.
 
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020x

020x

Suffering will end when the existence does.
Jul 6, 2023
249
Yes it means we're "not ready". Because to be ready, we have to accept the pain and terror that we will feel in the process of dying. Most people do it out of desperation and sometimes only while they're in the worst state possible so they don't even think about anything but ending the pain.

Getting over the fear is hard because it's something in you since birth. You really have to be in a bad state to be ready, to not care about anything.

In reality, there's way more suicidal people than we think and they're scared to die just like most of us.

It's just sad that suicide prevention made so many people who did ctb suffer from the painful and scary methods they used, most even fail and get permanent damage or become a vegetable. All because we live in such a cruel world where there is no empathy and compassion for people that are living through hell everyday, while being trapped with no way out.
 
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W

WaitingAllMyLife

Member
Jul 4, 2022
94
Sometimes I feel that way but then I realize what I'm really afraid of is failing. It occurred to me that if I had a simple pill I could take that would guarantee death with no chance of survival then all my fear dissipates. If only it was that easy.
 
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bluesoapyskies

bluesoapyskies

Member
Aug 4, 2023
48
I used to think that being afraid was a sign but I no longer believe that. Situations are different for everyone. Some want life to be better, but know it never will. That can be quite painful. There are days when the deicison seems so clear you feel unstoppable. But there are other days when you feel like fighting back.

Look at your situation through a rational lens when you're in a good headspace. Is there any hope for the future, even a glimmer? If so, maybe use that fear to fight against it. If not though, if this is a decision you've been fighting with for years and know that things won't or can't get better, then I would ignore it. I see it as a desperate attempts of our brains to find a reason. There's nothing wrong with it, our bodies don't want us to die. At the end of the day we are still animals with an instinct and all.
 
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EndJstifiesTheMeans

EndJstifiesTheMeans

Bad english, didn't go to school sorry
May 14, 2023
448
Personally no, there are people who completely lived as hikikomori and stuff like that, they had no hope for sure but still keep going because CTB is the hardest thing in life after all..
 
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tora

tora

lonelycity
Jun 11, 2023
191
Or maybe it means I don't truly want to kill myself right now? How do you get over the fear?
I'm trying to figure this out too. the only thing stopping me is fear. I'm not sure if it's fear of death itself or fear of failing and having life-ruining injuries, but I just wish I could get over my fear and get it over with.
 
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locked*n*loaded

locked*n*loaded

Archangel
Apr 15, 2022
7,258
It certainly could be you're not ready. Probably still have hope that things could get better, and there's nothing wrong with that. You can't just wish hope away, or push it away. It has to fade on it's own - organically. It may never fade away. It just depends on what life brings you, how many "blows" life deals you, whether, or not, it, eventually, gets extinguished. And everyone is different, too, as to how much they can take and when they get to that "last straw" kind of place. Hope's a fickle bitch. Hope leaves when hope is good and ready to leave.
 
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bipolar22

bipolar22

Student
Aug 31, 2022
102
It just means you are too scared too kill yourself . Some people wanna find deeper meaning in things when there really isn't.
 
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SolomonKado

SolomonKado

This is taking too long…
Jul 4, 2023
424
Or maybe it means I don't truly want to kill myself right now? How do you get over the fear?
My life has become all habit. The last few months I have been home and continue to get worse. August was a bad month for me and then last month I became completely numb.

When thoughts of CBT hit me I worry only about missing out. Only on things I've been doing as habit. Like binge watching TV to keep my head preoccupied. I'd miss out on the shows I watch on a regular basis. It's a stupid thing. Many years ago I would actually leave my house…

I know I have completely come to the end, but my stomach feels a tiny bit tore up and don't know why honestly. I know I have nothing to look forward to. It's going to be more of the same if I stay and it's getting worse.

I also fear failing.

Is what I have fake and I'll still be here? I know I have to test it, but I'm running out of time. My head is the worst part because it always thinks I'm going to fail at whatever I do and then thinks of worst outcome. I'm bitter with no hope left in me to believe "things will get better."
 
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F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
9,849
Depends on what it is you're afraid of. Are the fears related to life? As in- being afraid you'll miss out on something if you do CTB? In which case- maybe there are things to explore before you make that final decision.

Are they related to death and what might come after? That's just a risk really that all of us will have to take at some point. Depends on your beliefs really.

Or- is it the process that scares you? Personally- I think the process scares most people. It is frightening. Our anti-suicide world has left us with only the most brutal, unreliable methods available. I think it's reasonable to be afraid. I'm not so sure it means we aren't ready. I just think it's related to things like SI- natural instincts. Again- it's something we're all going to have to deal with if we REALLY want out. Bit like someone who wants to try sky diving who is afraid of heights. Either they let the fear get the better of them- or- they don't. Personally, I think it would be a 'nicer' experience CTB if we weren't terrified but I'm not sure how realistic it really is to expect to be calm. Most people seem to have to wrestle with SI it seems.
 
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Meditation guide

Meditation guide

Always was, is, and always shall be.
Jun 22, 2020
6,089
Or maybe it means I don't truly want to kill myself right now? How do you get over the fear?
Good question! I find myself always going in and out of a black mood and that hopeless feeling and there are times when I could do it and more times when I couldn't. I do think being truly ready does overcome SI though.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
38,894
Not necessarily. In my case I fear ctb because after all we exist in such an anti-suicide society where we are denied the option of a guaranteed, peaceful exit so therefore I would fear attempting a method with risks as it sounds so horrible to me failing a suicide attempt despite the fact that I'm fully aware that for me it's always preferable to not-exist. Having fears of attempting can mean that one wants to avoid even worse suffering rather than just not being ready.
 
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Sapphire

Sapphire

Student
Nov 22, 2022
186
Being afraid doesn't necessarily mean that your not ready. Everybody is afraid of death to a certain degree. It is the fear of the unknown. No one is ever going to be 100% ready to die when the time comes. There is never going to be a perfect time to die. Being afraid of dying isn't the same thing as wanting to live.

I don't think that the fear of death can be overcome completely. The best you can do is try to face your fears instead of trying to avoid them. Be honest with yourself. Write down all of your fears about death. Identify what things you are afraid of specifically. Then use logic to try to eliminate or lessen those fears.
 
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