Does anything provide catharsis for you anymore?

[Oudenophobia]

I've lurked around on this forum for quite some time now, and although I never imagined I'd actually post, here we are.

For those of you that take the time to reply here, I'd like to know what provides you that kind of relief, if there is anything at all, and also whether or not you plan to stick around until it stops.​

 

[hikikomorizombie]

thank u for ur post!!! :) it's always nice to see new things on the tl. for me there's unfortunately nothing left that gives me catharsis. just things that provide a sort of numbing distraction, & even that is starting to ebb.

what abt u?

 

[Oudenophobia]

thank u for ur post!!! :) it's always nice to see new things on the tl. for me there is nothing left unfortunately. just things that provide a sort of numbing distraction, & even that is starting to ebb.

what abt u?

I've recently picked up walking around my area again, though I can't say it really provides any sort of solace like it did years ago. Between that and music, very little does anything anymore, regardless of the effort I put into the activity.

What is is you do to numb yourself?

 

[Celerity]

Writing - when I can do it. I suppose some of my longer and more thoughtful posts on here do the trick in a pinch. I really want to return to a story I've been working on for over a month, but I've been struggling with writer's block.

 

[hikikomorizombie]

I've recently picked up walking around my area again, though I can't say it really provides any sort of solace like it did years ago. Between that and music, very little does anything anymore, regardless of the effort I put into the activity.

What is is you do to numb yourself?

smoke, play CoD, scroll the same 3 apps for hours, read, go on aimless drives. i don't even really have a lot @ my disposalthis has been my routine for years, w work mixed in. but u gotta do what u gotta do to get through the day ig.

if u like aimless walking, have u tried aimless driving?? i'm a big fan :) have been since i was 17. even if it doesn't hit the same anymore.

 

[Oudenophobia]

Writing - when I can do it. I suppose some of my longer and more thoughtful posts on here do the trick in a pinch. I really want to return to a story I've been working on for over a month, but I've been struggling with writer's block.

I can appreciate that. Whilst I don't write myself, at least not anything of quality or depth, I can see how it appeals to someone. What exactly is your story about?

 

[Celerity]

I can appreciate that. Whilst I don't write myself, at least not anything of quality or depth, I can see how it appeals to someone. What exactly is your story about?

Well, this is a little embarrassing because I wish it were something original, but it's a fanfic set in the A Song of Ice and Fire universe (ASoIaF) - the book series for Game of Thrones. It's the fourth fanfic I have posted online and clearly my best one of the bunch, so I'm extra disappointed the writer's block had to strike with this one. I also have a hugely detailed one based in the Elder Scrolls: Morrowind game, but it is a massive beast of a project I suspect I will never be able to finish. It's currently just taking up space in my Google Drive as an outline. I think I may have written one scene.

 

[Oudenophobia]

Well, this is a little embarrassing because I wish it were something original, but it's a fanfic set in the A Song of Ice and Fire universe (ASoIaF) - the book series for Game of Thrones. It's the fourth fanfic I have posted online and clearly my best one of the bunch, so I'm extra disappointed the writer's block had to strike with this one. I also have a hugely detailed one based in the Elder Scrolls: Morrowind game, but it is a massive beast of a project I suspect I will never be able to finish. It's currently just taking up space in my Google Drive as an outline. I think I may have written one scene.

I wouldn't consider it embarrassing that you enjoy writing fan fiction, especially when remembering that this is the fourth one you've wrote on the topic.
Morrowind is a game I know of, but that's really the extent of my knowledge. I mostly know of The Elder Scrolls because of the worldwide love people have for Skyrim, albeit I can't say it, or any of the other games in its group are my cup of tea. Regardless of how I feel about the topics of your work, I still find it admirable that you express your love for them the way you do.

 

[delayedcactus]

I was listening to a prog metal playlist recently because I wanted something that would make me feel something, anything...I am just so dead inside. Anyway I came across an artist named Buckethead and I'm really liking his discography. I hope I continue to find some sort of emotional release/enjoyment in his music because like everything in my life, I engage with it for a while then I get bored of it. Hallmark sociopathic characteristic that's been an unfortunate habit of mine since I was a kid. This is also why I want to ctb

 

[Oudenophobia]

smoke, play CoD, scroll the same 3 apps for hours, read, go on aimless drives. i don't even really have a lot @ my disposalthis has been my routine for years, w work mixed in. but u gotta do what u gotta do to get through the day ig.

if u like aimless walking, have u tried aimless driving?? i'm a big fan :) have been since i was 17. even if it doesn't hit the same anymore.

I don't smoke myself, and gaming is a complete husk of what it once was; enjoyment derived from gaming, much like everything else is fleeting at best.

Driving isn't something I do, but I appreciate the suggestion though.

 

[F@#$]

Mostly booze and dope,driving/riding too fast and sketchy, chicks that are too fast and sketchy and guns.

 

[Oudenophobia]

I was listening to a prog metal playlist recently because I wanted something that would make me feel something, anything...I am just so dead inside. Anyway I came across an artist named Buckethead and I'm really liking his discography. I hope I continue to find some sort of emotional release/enjoyment in his music because like everything in my life, I engage with it for a while then I get bored of it. Hallmark sociopathic characteristic that's been an unfortunate habit of mine since I was a kid. This is also why I want to ctb

What is about his music you resonate with?

 

[caninecomposer]

I don't know if my experience aligns with traditional definitions of catharsis. But I've found a set of YouTube and Twitch channels that can often provide a full 16 hours of daily entertainment, which I can pair with a special selection of games which provide infinite entertainment value. Combine that with very unhealthy eating habits, and I can just barely exist without going insane and having constant breakdowns of the deepest inner torment.

 

[delayedcactus]

What is about his music you resonate with?

Mainly I can appreciate that his music spans multiple genres. He doesn't limit himself to one genre and a lot of his songs truly tell a story and evoke real emotion. The type of emotion that I haven't felt with other music in a long time. It's just very experimental and some tracks have an "everything but the kitchen sink" quality to it with the use of multiple instruments all at once which I find intriguing

 

[Oudenophobia]

Mostly booze and dope,driving/riding too fast and sketchy, chicks that are too fast and sketchy and guns.

Whatever works.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Shows, movies, and games. Same as always. My job actually kind of helps too when it isn't getting too stressful although it sucks that it doesn't pay much and people keep telling me I'm over or under qualified anyways.

 

[Oudenophobia]

I don't know if my experience aligns with traditional definitions of catharsis. But I've found a set of YouTube and Twitch channels that can often provide a full 16 hours of daily entertainment, which I can pair with a special selection of games which provide infinite entertainment value. Combine that with very unhealthy eating habits, and I can just barely exist without going insane and having constant breakdowns of the deepest inner torment.

YouTube feels vacuous and insipid to me these days, especially considering that most content on YouTube is stuffed through a content filter, thus relinquishing almost all of its authentic creativity. Shifting past my thoughts on that matter though, which games do you find yourself escaping into?

Shows, movies, and games. Same as always. My job actually kind of helps too when it isn't getting too stressful although it sucks that it doesn't pay much and people keep telling me I'm over or under qualified anyways.

I suppose what you find relief in is still something. What do you do for work?

Mainly I can appreciate that his music spans multiple genres. He doesn't limit himself to one genre and a lot of his songs truly tell a story and evoke real emotion. The type of emotion that I haven't felt with other music in a long time. It's just very experimental and some tracks have an "everything but the kitchen sink" quality to it with the use of multiple instruments all at once which I find intriguing

I'm a little more specific with what music I like, however I'm prepared to give the guy a listen for the sake of experience if nothing else. Do you have any specific songs you think I should listen to?

 

[caninecomposer]

which games do you find yourself escaping into?

Within a single day, you might find me playing Session Skate Sim, Skate 3 (and Skate 4 when it comes out), Tony Hawk (THUGPro online multiplayer mod), Rocket League, Smash Bros (and objectively better versions like Nick All Star Brawl), Mario Maker (I have hundreds of world records), Splatoon, Northgard, Party Animals, Peglin, Tetris, Picross puzzles, and occasionally other random titles that offer challenging skill-based gameplay or full creative freedom. I would also like to develop the best game ever made (purposefully vague), but I'd like for a life partner to provide free housing for me while I do so.

 

[Oudenophobia]

Within a single day, you might find me playing Session Skate Sim, Skate 3 (and Skate 4 when it comes out), Tony Hawk (THUGPro online multiplayer mod), Rocket League, Smash Bros (and objectively better versions like Nick All Star Brawl), Mario Maker (I have hundreds of world records), Splatoon, Northgard, Party Animals, Peglin, Tetris, Picross puzzles, and occasionally other random titles that offer challenging skill-based gameplay or full creative freedom. I would also like to develop the best game ever made (purposefully vague), but I'd like for a life partner to provide free housing for me while I do so.

You've got a very specific taste when it comes to the games you enjoy, something I consider rather rare with how dronelike most people have become these days. A few of them are games I haven't actually heard of, and whilst I rarely play anything now due to anhedonia, I could always purchase them if I have ever have some spare cash, or the actual desire to play anything. Sifu was probably the last game that even remotely piqued my interest, nevertheless that turned out to be another bust.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I got absolutely nothing

 

[BlackMoon]

Watching a good anime and

Spoiler: NSFW

sexual activities

are the only things who makes me escape my desperate situation.

 

[Oudenophobia]

I got absolutely nothing

Did anything bring you solace previously?

Watching a good anime and

Spoiler: NSFW

sexual activities

are the only things who makes me escape my desperate situation.

Do you have a particular anime that you turn to in your time of need? The novelty of sex wears off eventually, so I suppose you should enjoy it whilst you can.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Did anything bring you solace previously?

Not really. I don't remember anything that ever gave me solace

 

[Oudenophobia]

Not really. I don't remember anything that ever gave me solace

Nothing, and nobody?

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Nothing, and nobody?

Yep. I mean, the only people I have in my life are family members and they don't really provide me any solace or relief. I don't really have any friends or acquaintances aside from one online friend but they don't really provide me with solace either though I am glad to have them. That's the "nobody" aspect of it done. As for "nothing", sure, I do watch random stuff on youtube but I only do it to pass the time, not because I like it. And that's it really. Aside from that, all I do is study against my will because I fear the consequences of failing exams and I just stare at the wall for most of my time. Oh, and I also scroll and look at posts here but, once again, I only do it to pass time

 

[Oudenophobia]

Yep. I mean, the only people I have in my life are family members and they don't really provide me any solace or relief. I don't really have any friends or acquaintances aside from one online friend but they don't really provide me with solace either though I am glad to have them. That's the "nobody" aspect of it done. As for "nothing", sure, I do watch random stuff on youtube but I only do it to pass the time, not because I like it. And that's it really. Aside from that, all I do is study against my will because I fear the consequences of failing exams and I just stare at the wall for most of my time. Oh, and I also scroll and look at posts here but, once again, I only do it to pass time

Family seldom do, so I can appreciate what you're saying. Do you find your days often operate on autopilot? You know, almost like everything you do has become so monotonous that you barely control anything anymore?

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Family seldom do, so I can appreciate what you're saying. Do you find your days often operate on autopilot? You know, almost like everything you do has become so monotonous that you barely control anything anymore?

I thought it was the opposite where family do often provide solace and the ones who don't have family which provide solace are the outliers. I guess I wouldn't be surprised if it's the norm to not find relief in family but I still thought that people did. Also, yes, my days do operate on autopilot. I wake up, I either go to university or stay home, I eat, shit, piss, sleep etc and it repeats every single day. It's pure monotony and I don't really have the willpower to change that.. in fact I'd say that I don't want to change that because I don't have the will to do so

 

[Oudenophobia]

I thought it was the opposite where family do often provide solace and the ones who don't have family which provide solace are the outliers. I guess I wouldn't be surprised if it's the norm to not find relief in family but I still thought that people did. Also, yes, my days do operate on autopilot. I wake up, I either go to university or stay home, I eat, shit, piss, sleep etc and it repeats every single day. It's pure monotony and I don't really have the willpower to change that.. in fact I'd say that I don't want to change that because I don't have the will to do so

It's possible that I'm just speaking anecdotally, then again I don't believe that most families are open and honest with each other about how each member of said family feels. Too many people come from broken homes, full family or not. Having a family with divorced or separated parents is one thing, but sometimes families lack the ability or desire to communicate, and that can be all it takes to create said broken home. If simply having family members meant that most people would have strong support networks, I don't think the term "broken home" would be as common as it is today.

Given what your daily life is like, I can't say I'm really surprised that you don't want to change anything, or perhaps feel like there is no reason to change anything. Do you have anything in particular that tethers you here? Something, or someone that makes you feel as if it's not time to leave yet?

 

[FuneralCry]

The only relief and comfort for me could ever lie in death, but sadly it isn't like one can choose to easily fall into an eternal and dreamless sleep, it's horrible to me how suicide is cruelly made so inaccessible even know existence causes nothing but suffering. For me existence is tiresome, dreadful and pointless. I don't see any value in existing as a conscious being just destined to decay and deteriorate in this hellish world filled with endless suffering, to have the ability to exist is so burdensome. The fact that humans choose to procreate in the first place is very tragic to me as the true problem lies in existence itself and only eternal nothingness could ever be a desirable state.

 

[delayedcactus]

YouTube feels vacuous and insipid to me these days, especially considering that most content on YouTube is stuffed through a content filter, thus relinquishing almost all of its authentic creativity. Shifting past my thoughts on that matter though, which games do you find yourself escaping into?

I suppose what you find relief in is still something. What do you do for work?

I'm a little more specific with what music I like, however I'm prepared to give the guy a listen for the sake of experience if nothing else. Do you have any specific songs you think I should listen to?

I would recommend these tracks - King James, Welcome to Bucketheadland, Soothsayer, Pumpkin Pike 2