Discussion Does anyone wish they were terminally ill?

[defott]

Over the last few days I've been wishing that my doctor would discover some Stage IV untreatable cancer or something so I could get MAID and leave. I wouldn't do treatment or anything I could just get up and go.

Of course my particular sickness needs to be chronic and manageable while still dragging down my quality of life. I feel like it would be better to get Covid and just not hang on. Take off my sensors, not tell my doctors that I'm on insulin to hasten things along.

 

[_Kaira_]

11/10 yes. It would be so much easier than beating SI and a lot less guilt than what it would cause to people around me. I would deny treatment (even if my insurance would pay for it).

 

[esse_est_percipi]

yes.
all the time.

 

[LonelyNick]

Sweet delivery from this bullshit called life. I hope and pray but it won't happen *sigh*

 

[kingsclear]

Well here I am with a Stage IV diagnosis with prostate cancer. I am also very suicidal and even have prepared a kit for when I'm really ready.

If I don't kill myself before then, I will be using MAiD in Canada. You simply have to be terminal with a physical disease (mental diseases still not accepted), get two doctors to agree, wait 10 days, agree again and sign away your life, then you're injected with 4 meds in order by IV and gone in no more than 20 minutes.

If I get more mentally unstable, I have built a kit with plenty of opioids and clonazapam and alcohol. Opioids by mouth are hard to die from. Combine with the other two and breathing simply stops. I would just simply go to bed and sleep and never wake up.

 

[Shades of Grey]

I often wish that I could take the place of others that are terminally ill but don't want to die. I feel somewhat guilty for wanting to opt out while I am in reasonably good physical health when there are so many people out there who desperately want to go on living but don't have that option.

I had a brief/minor cancer scare a few years ago. (I have a significant family history of skin cancer, and I am by far the pastiest, most translucent individual on either side of said family. Ended up with a spot on my foot that was suspicious for melanoma.) When I saw the thing, I felt this overwhelming sense of calmness and resignation. I had no desire to pursue treatment. (I didn't- the lesion ultimately resolved on its own.) It was very much "okay then, this is how it ends."

Except that it wasn't.

 

[Taki]

All the time.
I mean, if you're chronically suicidal because the situation demands it, are you not basically terminally ill?

 

[Rollsjack]

Over the last few days I've been wishing that my doctor would discover some Stage IV untreatable cancer or something so I could get MAID and leave. I wouldn't do treatment or anything I could just get up and go.

Of course my particular sickness needs to be chronic and manageable while still dragging down my quality of life. I feel like it would be better to get Covid and just not hang on. Take off my sensors, not tell my doctors that I'm on insulin to hasten things along.

Now I'm wishing for it

 

[Worndown]

Funny thing about terminal illness, it often strikes those that do not wish to die.

 

[antinatalist123]

It would be less hard on my family.

 

[defott]

Well here I am with a Stage IV diagnosis with prostate cancer. I am also very suicidal and even have prepared a kit for when I'm really ready.

If I don't kill myself before then, I will be using MAiD in Canada. You simply have to be terminal with a physical disease (mental diseases still not accepted), get two doctors to agree, wait 10 days, agree again and sign away your life, then you're injected with 4 meds in order by IV and gone in no more than 20 minutes.

If I get more mentally unstable, I have built a kit with plenty of opioids and clonazapam and alcohol. Opioids by mouth are hard to die from. Combine with the other two and breathing simply stops. I would just simply go to bed and sleep and never wake up.

Why DIY when you have access to MAID? Is it worth the risk?

 

[Deathwish1968]

Yes, all the time. There are so many in this world who wish to live but die and I wish to die , but I am forced to live.

 

[NeverGrowUp]

It sounds so perfect, you could get the sympathy and have friends/family around you (instead of having to hide CTB plans and feel guilty and sneaky), it wouldn't be misunderstood suffering like an incurable mental condition, and you'd have the ability to go peacefully via a medically assisted death in a lot of places. I wish so badly I could have people/medical professionals there when I passed so I wouldn't feel so cripplingly scared. Even with something like N what if I panic and don't drink it all then have to deal with that nonsense. At least in a medical setting they'll ensure it works.

 

[Borntodie29]

I secretly wish that i'm found with Some kind of cancer or get covid and then not take the treatment.

 

[sourpink]

yes. of course I wish I were terminal. my desire to yeet myself out of this universe would actually be taken seriously if that were the case.

 

[greebo6]

Over the last few days I've been wishing that my doctor would discover some Stage IV untreatable cancer or something so I could get MAID and leave. I wouldn't do treatment or anything I could just get up and go.

Of course my particular sickness needs to be chronic and manageable while still dragging down my quality of life. I feel like it would be better to get Covid and just not hang on. Take off my sensors, not tell my doctors that I'm on insulin to hasten things along.

Yes .

 

[Hopeindeath!]

Yes I do.

 

[YellowSneakers]

Yes. I have a progressive neurological condition that won't kill me but makes my life totally unfulfilling.
I often dream of a condition that would quickly kill me & put me out of my misery.
At least death is dignified. This partial state I exist in now is demoralizing & emasculating.

 

[Ghost2211]

No, suicide is a choice. One I can make or not make every day. A choice that if life were better could be a thing of the past, but terminal illness is inflicted on you. It's not a choice, and it's not something you can undo or change your mind about.

 

[k75]

No, suicide is a choice. One I can make or not make every day. A choice that if life were better could be a thing of the past, but terminal illness is inflicted on you. It's not a choice, and it's not something you can undo or change your mind about.

I feel the same way. I want to have a choice, and there's absolutely none in this scenario.

I posted recently about cancer recurrence fears contributing to my suicidal ideation, and this is exactly why. I already feel like I don't have much choice, because my reasons aren't fixable and aren't going to go away, and I can't live with them much longer. Unlike some people, I don't hate life, and it makes me really sad that mine was basically stolen from me. I'd like to get better, but I can't heal enough to live with what's left.

 

[Ghost2211]

I feel the same way. I want to have a choice, and there's absolutely none in this scenario.

I posted recently about cancer recurrence fears contributing to my suicidal ideation, and this is exactly why. I already feel like I don't have much choice, because my reasons aren't fixable and aren't going to go away, and I can't live with them much longer. Unlike some people, I don't hate life, and it makes me really sad that mine was basically stolen from me. I'd like to get better, but I can't heal enough to live with what's left.

That's really sad. I'm sorry you're dealing with this. Honestly, if I got fixable problems I would fix them for this reason as well. I don't really want to die I want to stop suffering. I've seen people taken by cancer. You deserve a better life, and an optional death. Many hugs to you.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

Terminal illness and natural death scare the shit out of me. Everyone hopes to die peacefully in their sleep but that is rarely ever the case. Once my quality of life hits a certain point I'm gona peace out.

 

[Bauhaus]

I wished I die from either a terminal illness or a lethal accident, so there won't be any guilt of having to commit suicide.
In case of the former, I would prefer fatal familial insomna which would be appropiate since I already suffer from severe insomnia. Another benefit is that they won't torture you would chemotherapy like with cancer and it also shouldn't be a problem to ask for euthanasia.
Another possibility is that you die while doing a heroic deed, like saving someone in a burning house (and die from falling debris, not immolation !!).
It will be sad for your parents but they will also be proud of you doing a good deed.

 

[Dcap1]

Absolutely, people with very happy lives are diagnosed with terminal cancer while we are trying to figure a way out. I would love to trade places with someone who wants to live, i'll take their disease and feel like i did something good.

 

[virginiawoolf86]

I can't tell you how often I just say to myself "please kill me" or "just let me die". I wish that they would allow legal suicide for those who suffer from severe mental illness. It's not fair to let someone suffer inside of their own bodies and minds. I feel like I'm in a torture chamber. I'm stuck feeling like I physically died every day and somehow my body still works. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.

 

[Hiraeth]

i feel guilty for saying this but yes. constantly.

 

[blackdogs]

All the time. It'd be easier and better for my family and friends. Unfortunately, I was diagnosed with a heart problem that isn't even dangerous just inconvenient.

 

[Superdeterminist]

Only if it were painless, minimally painful, or I were able to constantly numb myself with analgesics. Because, I can't stand pain, it's ultimately the reason I want to ctb in the first place.

 

[Wayfaerer]

All the time.
I mean, if you're chronically suicidal because the situation demands it, are you not basically terminally ill?

I see it this way as well.

 

[Soul]

I have one. I see the point about it making it easier for others to accept that I intend to kill myself.
The question about why not wait for MAID if one is eligible: I may not feel like waiting until I'm in bad enough condition for MAID. Which is the choice one still has: when to exit.