Discussion Does anyone try and make others understand that when you CTB its what you wanted and not to get upset

[TheEndIsNigh31]

Morning all, well morning from sunny UK.

So I've been having a conversation with my best friend whose more like family than my actual family. I've been telling him how I feel and that one day I'll be gone sooner than when he expects. Obviously he gets defensive and says he doesn't want me to die etc. He never plays a guilt card and never judges.

I understand his concerns but I try to make him understand its what I want and that when ever I think about death I see peace and happiness and a brain thats not over thinking. I'm trying i suppose to soften the blow of when I actually go as I'm hoping if he knows its made me happy then he shouldn't worry or get upset.

I know he'll get upset but just wondering if anyone else has that 1 person they try making it less painful for

 

[moonchild]

I haven't voiced it to anyone, but I'm thinking about it a lot. When I ctb, I want a few of the people closest to me to know that it isn't something sudden, but rather that it's been the only option for me for a long time and it's what I want. But I'm not sure how I should word it so it's clear but not too worrying, and I'm also scared they'll overreact. :/

 

[TheEndIsNigh31]

It depends on the person my friend has been through several attempts on my own life and knows how i feel. Been found several times unfortunately

But I have told him ill be gone one day and not to be upset but understand its what i wanted.

I don't think it will make a difference but rather him know and others that I found peace which has been lost to me for years.

Hopefully they don't overreact for you

 

[Eurus]

My sister and my mom know I want to go,but I'm waiting on both parents to pass first,but everyday Ive been fighting that decision to wait.

 

[moonchild]

It depends on the person my friend has been through several attempts on my own life and knows how i feel. Been found several times unfortunately

But I have told him ill be gone one day and not to be upset but understand its what i wanted.

I don't think it will make a difference but rather him know and others that I found peace which has been lost to me for years.

Hopefully they don't overreact for you

Right, I suppose our situations are a bit different then.

I think it's inevitable that people will be upset, but if one of my friends killed themselves, I do think it would make a difference if I had heard their thoughts about it beforehand.

 

[TheEndIsNigh31]

Yea I would take it better than it being a complete surprise.

I'm already there ive told the few I needed

 

[lostangel]

I could leave it in a note or a video it is what I wanted and not an impulsive decision. But trying to explain my choice to them would be pointless. It will be the usual guilt tripping nonsense.

 

[Emily123]

yes . i tried to convince my mom . she didn't accept it

 

[woxihuanni]

I try to make sb else understand that when I kill myself it is not what I want, and not please force me to do it. I would also tell them to be upset when I die, but they will be relieved and happy so they wouldn't listen.

 

[DeadButDreaming]

Yes, but my mum said I'm the most precious person in the world to her, her first-born son, and she would be devastated. She said the death of my father and step-father wouldn't compare to how sad she would be of my death. So I'm trapped on this shithole planet.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Yes, but my mum said I'm the most precious person in the world to her, her first-born son, and she would be devastated. She said the death of my father and step-father wouldn't compare to how sad she would be of my death. So I'm trapped on this shithole planet.

Have your father and step-father already died?

 

[TAW122]

I thought about doing that, but then quickly realized how it's a bad idea. It's a bad idea not only because you are unlikely to change their minds, at best, they would gaslight and guilt trip you, but at worst, they now feign concern in order to get you to open up more and try to 'stop' you from your plans. The latter is very bad for one who is mindfully suicidal and truly wishes to go. It sucks that one isn't able to go out on their own terms and be respected for it, forcing the person to have to go in secrecy and hide until their last moment.

 

[LADY007]

I thought about doing that, but then quickly realized how it's a bad idea. It's a bad idea not only because you are unlikely to change their minds, at best, they would gaslight and guilt trip you, but at worst, they now feign concern in order to get you to open up more and try to 'stop' you from your plans. The latter is very bad for one who is mindfully suicidal and truly wishes to go. It sucks that one isn't able to go out on their own terms and be respected for it, forcing the person to have to go in secrecy and hide until their last moment.

I agree....bad idea to tell anyone.

 

[TheEndIsNigh31]

I thought about doing that, but then quickly realized how it's a bad idea. It's a bad idea not only because you are unlikely to change their minds, at best, they would gaslight and guilt trip you, but at worst, they now feign concern in order to get you to open up more and try to 'stop' you from your plans. The latter is very bad for one who is mindfully suicidal and truly wishes to go. It sucks that one isn't able to go out on their own terms and be respected for it, forcing the person to have to go in secrecy and hide until their last moment.

I agree....bad idea to tell anyone.

I disagree but that's obviously why I started this chat.

I understand your frustration and worries about it but my 2 friends know its what i want. No they are not happy about it but understand at least.

 

[TotallyIsolated]

Its a bad idea because people can and WILL stop you. They only have to call the police and you'll be taken straight to a psychiatric hospital.

 

[aukguy]

You are lucky to have those that understand the decision. Those close to me know my troubles but not that I have plans - my goodbye notes to close family and daughters will make it clear how much I love them and that the decision is not a reflection or detriment of that.

 

[LADY007]

I disagree but that's obviously why I started this chat.

I understand your frustration and worries about it but my 2 friends know its what i want. No they are not happy about it but understand at least.

You are lucky to have two understanding friends.....

 

[TheEndIsNigh31]

Its a bad idea because people can and WILL stop you. They only have to call the police and you'll be taken straight to a psychiatric hospital.

Well the police don't in East Anglia or not to me 2 attempts and just driven home.

1 attempt 2 years ago my friend dragged me back into hospital after being discharged and questioned why I'm not being sectioned they just said we don't do that here when the hospital has a linked mental health ward

 

[EGR92]

Its a bad idea because people can and WILL stop you. They only have to call the police and you'll be taken straight to a psychiatric hospital.

It doesn't work like that in the UK

 

[TotallyIsolated]

It doesn't work like that in the UK

I'm in the UK and thats exactly what happened to me. Police showed up, put me in their car until an ambulance arrived, and that was that.

 

[EGR92]

My family are aware i plan to CTB. i tell my Mum every day. i think its better that way, so in some ways they know, can prepare themselves for it somewhat and it isn't a total surprise. I think there would be nothing worse than thinking your family member is absolutely fine then find them dead one day. I think its important those close to you know your future intentions

I'm in the UK and thats exactly what happened to me. Police showed up, put me in their car until an ambulance arrived, and that was that.

Did you not have a mental health assessment? i have made multiple attempts on my life and never once been sectioned, other than by the police but that's only for 24 hours then you have a MHA. All of which i was sent home from

 

[TheEndIsNigh31]

I'm in the UK and thats exactly what happened to me. Police showed up, put me in their car until an ambulance arrived, and that was that.

I can respect its happened to you but nothing with me and I'm in the UK police haven't hospital in fact havent sectioned me

My family are aware i plan to CTB. i tell my Mum every day. i think its better that way, so in some ways they know, can prepare themselves for it somewhat and it isn't a total surprise. I think there would be nothing worse than thinking your family member is absolutely fine then find them dead one day. I think its important those close to you know your future intentions


Did you not have a mental health assessment? i have made multiple attempts on my life and never once been sectioned, other than by the police but that's only for 24 hours then you have a MHA. All of which i was sent home from

I'm the same nothing happened and agree I think some people should know so they are not surprised

 

[EGR92]

I tell them in my MHAs how I've planned my suicide attempts for months but i just get sent home alone at midnight in a taxi instead of to a psych hospital Praise the mental health services

 

[Nomolos92]

My son set himself free just before Christmas last year. It was clear from the note he left that he had been planning it for months and that he was happy and relaxed about leaving.
I wish he'd spoken to me about his plans because I totally understand his reasonings and in all honesty I would have joined him!

 

[Life_and_Death]

did you tell them everything? i know it can be a lot on a person, but my husband and my friend know my whole story since birth and what living is like for me on a daily basis. they arent happy that im suicidal but if i were to commit they would completely understand

 

[DeadButDreaming]

Yes, they have GoodPersonEffed.

 

[TheEndIsNigh31]

did you tell them everything? i know it can be a lot on a person, but my husband and my friend know my whole story since birth and what living is like for me on a daily basis. they arent happy that im suicidal but if i were to commit they would completely understand

My friends know absolutely everything. I haven't buttered it up at all.

I tell them in my MHAs how I've planned my suicide attempts for months but i just get sent home alone at midnight in a taxi instead of to a psych hospital Praise the mental health services

Jesus christ thats exactly what happened to me taxi home with my thoughts thinking well I'm so glad I pay taxes.

My son set himself free just before Christmas last year. It was clear from the note he left that he had been planning it for months and that he was happy and relaxed about leaving.
I wish he'd spoken to me about his plans because I totally understand his reasonings and in all honesty I would have joined him!

Its good he told you and you understood. I hope he found his peace as I know how difficult it can be.

 

[EGR92]

Even my mental health nurse is aware i have plans to kill myself

 

[Life_and_Death]

My friends know absolutely everything. I haven't buttered it up at all.

idk what else you could do then. at that point its up to them to understand that living doesnt come easy for everyone

 

[EGR92]

My friends know absolutely everything. I haven't buttered it up at all.
Jesus christ thats exactly what happened to me taxi home with my thoughts thinking well I'm so glad I pay taxes.
Its good he told you and you understood. I hope he found his peace as I know how difficult it can be.

haha yes love a free taxi ride home though!