Discussion does anyone here tired or gave up on recovery?

[fallenangel444]

i feel that everything in my life is going downhill in a span of months i try to went to therapy last week they higher my dose but nothing changes. i feel some kind of emptiness maybe because the meds im taking but i feel like everytime i try to recovery nothing changes i still feel so lost im not ready to catch the bus but at the same time im tired living like this, has anyone felt this way? how do you overcome this?

 

[WorthlessTrash]

No. I know that even with recovery I won't have the result I want, so no point in trying.

What things in your life are going downhill? and is that the reason you are depressed?

 

[fallenangel444]

No. I know that even with recovery I won't have the result I want, so no point in trying.

What things in your life are going downhill? and is that the reason you are depressed?

im struggling with uni and abusive parents i can say thats are the main reason why im like this

 

[WorthlessTrash]

im struggling with uni and abusive parents i can say thats are the main reason why im like this

Well, idk if CTBing is the solution for that. It is ultimately up to you.

You should try to find a way to live with friends, and as for uni, talk to your professors or liaison and see what can be done. Ultimately though, it is your choice how to deal with it.

 

[Rocinante]

I have bouts of hope here and there, but I've mostly given up

 

[downndone2]

No joy, hopeless, and given up.

 

[september]

feeling the same, past months have been switching between total apathy and too many emotions to handle. previous attempt went wrong and i've gave myself over 3 years of time (combined with efforts) and it is just getting worse! such is life though - just trying to get through each day while having an efficient "exit plan"

wish i could recommend something for you but my coping mechanisms are not smart

 

[hungry_ghost]

Every time I think I can make a fraction of headway in something positive, it comes crashing the fuck down.

At this point, I'm not sure when I will finally get to the point of no return, but it's just a matter of time.

The future holds nothing good for any of us.

 

[charlotte_]

I don't know your situation clearly, but it's normal that you feel like it's hopeless at the beginning at the journey. You are making a very big change in your life, therefore it's common that you'd feel lost at the first stages. I can't guarantee anything, but if you think that it's not your time yet, then it isn't. If it doesn't work out, ctb won't go anywhere, so for now why don't you stop caring whether it'll work or not and give it another try?

 

[endless_pain]

I feel so hopeless, still stuck with my toxic family and trying to start a therapy but I just want to ctb.

 

[AshClouds]

I'm sticking around because there is a small chance of recovery, I can't picture it in my head anymore, but I still have a few options left

 

[NoLoveNoHope]

I tried to recover while in a manic episode and I won't ever achieve it. I just can't be bothered you gotta do all this exercise then this, that - it's just easier to CTB. I don't care about life anyway so what's the point on feeling happiness?

Don't care to make anything of myself anyway so no reason to be a further burden. No point trying if I can't put in the effort even when I was trying to "recover" I never put the effort in. I've learnt I never wanted to recover but I wanted to die so that's my plan, I'm in no rush - I'll just do it when I want to. I'm just binging on some shows. Evangellion is superrr good and I need to watch the classics, don't watch anime much since I can't be bothered to commit to anything even if I enjoy it.

 

[stermc]

I see no way of recovering anymore, so I have given up. The only way that's going to change is if a miracle happens (and it won't).

 

[fallenangel444]

I don't know your situation clearly, but it's normal that you feel like it's hopeless at the beginning at the journey. You are making a very big change in your life, therefore it's common that you'd feel lost at the first stages. I can't guarantee anything, but if you think that it's not your time yet, then it isn't. If it doesn't work out, ctb won't go anywhere, so for now why don't you stop caring whether it'll work or not and give it another try?

i might give it a try i do hope this time will work if not im just gonna give up with all these meds its getting tiring

 

[AnxietyHangover]

I tried different psychiatrists, different meds, therapy, positive thinking, what have you... I always return to this state of deep depression and apathy. I gave up on my life, I'm just waiting for my brother to pass his exam so my ctb won't disturb his studying, then I'm gone. I have like 2 months left to live. This time it's real. I can't wait to be done.

 

[TAW122]

Besides a small recovery I did mid-2019 and some small pseudo recoveries (I say pseudo meaning that I pretended to be alright as to not arouse suspicion or draw unwanted scrutiny), throughout 2021 and 2022, but ultimately, it is futile, as life is full of suffering, only the next bad thing to come around the corner, unpredictable. Therefore, I have (long term) resigned on recovery and am set to hopefully CTB sometime in 2023 or early 2024 (the sooner the better, but depends on the circumstance and timing). Everyday alive is a gamble for potential continued suffering.

 

[Valky]

i feel that everything in my life is going downhill in a span of months i try to went to therapy last week they higher my dose but nothing changes. i feel some kind of emptiness maybe because the meds im taking but i feel like everytime i try to recovery nothing changes i still feel so lost im not ready to catch the bus but at the same time im tired living like this, has anyone felt this way? how do you overcome this?

Yes definitely. I can't lie to you. It is an exhausting and hard path, especially in the beginning but in the end, all the pain will be worth it. Give it some time with the meds and if it doesn't work then talk about switching to other ones with your psychiatrist.

Recovery is a constant up and down. Sometimes you feel like you are stuck at the wall, sometimes it feels like everything is getting worse but I promise you, that is not the case. Any day you have survived is a successful day. Sometimes all you can do is holding on. Holding on to the idea of a better life. Of a normal life.

'It's okay if all you did today was survive'

 

[StolenLife]

Every time I've tried recovery something bad was around the corner. Now I'm just simply tired of constant suffering.

 

[WorthlessCoward]

Lost it a long time ago. I think I had a small recovery but it was all fake.

No. I know that even with recovery I won't have the result I want, so no point in trying.

Also this, so much.