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Pallf

I'm tired
May 27, 2018
356
For these last couple of years I've been a frequenter of certain suicide method websites when I'm depressed and I get this ridiculously happy feeling when I read up on the different methods. I feel like I'm in control of my life when everything else is going to shit.
 
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wanttodie

wanttodie

Enlightened
Apr 19, 2018
1,784
yes
get happy while looking up suicide methods noing one day all die be all be happy when i end it
 
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C

Caerula

Student
Mar 20, 2018
145
So true. I've always wondered if it's abnormal to feel so good looking up suicide methods.
 
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Hanger

Hanger

Noosedancer
May 29, 2018
277
Yes especially when I think about me doing the method
 
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chronicpainnomore

chronicpainnomore

Not Circling the Drain Anymore
May 31, 2018
310
I lull myself to sleep every night imagining pulling the exit bag down over my head and breathing deeply.
 
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El Topo

El Topo

(---)
Apr 21, 2018
478
yes
get happy while looking up suicide methods noing one day all die be all be happy when i end it

Is that really you in your profile picture? I remember someone posted that on 8chan, but I thought it was just a joke.
 
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L

Life sucks

Visionary
Apr 18, 2018
2,136
I fantasize about good or painless methods like being in a nitrogen filled room. I fantasize about magically being dead all the time.

I get some happiness while researching because of the hope and the feel like I'll get something magical although I get no new results.

I think if suicidal people started researching scientifically together they can find something new always. I think there are suicidals in each field of knowledge. Prolifers aren't the only ones who develop stuff.
 
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chronicpainnomore

chronicpainnomore

Not Circling the Drain Anymore
May 31, 2018
310
I fantasize about good or painless methods like being in a nitrogen filled room. I fantasize about magically being dead all the time.

I get some happiness while researching because of the hope and the feel like I'll get something magical although I get no new results.

I think if suicidal people started researching scientifically together they can find something new always. I think there are suicidals in each field of knowledge. Prolifers aren't the only ones who develop stuff.
Speaking of nitrogen filled rooms, here is a news story about a sperm bank in Augusta, GA that had a leak in the liquid nitrogen system and killed a police officer and almost killed a sperm bank employee. The officer went in to rescue the employee and was overcome so fast by nitrogen I doubt he even knew what happened. This is a sad story because it was an accident, but for our purposes, it shows how awesome nitrogen is.
 
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wanttodie

wanttodie

Enlightened
Apr 19, 2018
1,784
Is that really you in your profile picture? I remember someone posted that on 8chan, but I thought it was just a joke.
yes it is my profile picture? way are you asking
 
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El Topo

El Topo

(---)
Apr 21, 2018
478
yes it is my profile picture? way are you asking

It might not be a good idea to put your real photo on here. If someone who knows you somehow found this website, they could call the police and possibly get you sent to a psychiatric hospital.
 
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Imaginos

Imaginos

Full-time layabout
Apr 7, 2018
638
I'm too lazy to look up extraneous information like that, so I guess my answer would be no. I know exactly how I'd like to commit suicide. The problem is actually doing it. To be honest, looking up additional methods, even on the few occasions when I have bothered to do it, actually only serves to depress me since it essentially just acts as a painful reminder of how astronomically unlikely it is that I'll ever be able to carry it, or any other method, out to completion.

As far as just fantasizing about suicide in general, that's basically my number one hobby. A hundred little simulated deaths inside my head that I can replay and savor to my heart's content. It doesn't bring me happiness per se, but more a resigned comfort (if that makes any sense). As if, for a brief moment, I can feel the calm of oblivion take hold of me, almost like I really were dying (albeit in a very idealized, make-believe way). I don't know, man. I mean, I've also thought about death/suicide for so long now that it's basically just become a permanent fixture of my brain. The same way some people have daily recurring thoughts about the weather or their job or some other stupid bullshit, for me it's death. It's not even a conscious choice at this point. I just get up and that's what I think about it.
 
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wanttodie

wanttodie

Enlightened
Apr 19, 2018
1,784
It might not be a good idea to put your real photo on here. If someone who knows you somehow found this website, they could call the police and possibly get you sent to a psychiatric hospital.
did not thank of that thanks i changed it
 
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DF90

DF90

Experienced
Mar 18, 2018
275
I know my suicide method now, but I always felt a strange calmness when I was looking for one.
 
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Meena

Meena

Student
Jun 7, 2018
138
Every time i go to bet i imagine myself breathing charcoal. It makes me feel calm and i forget all my problems.
 
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P

Pallf

I'm tired
May 27, 2018
356
I imagine myself in an apartment using the exit bag method and l feel myself drifting away peacefully.
I really enjoy the setup to the method because it allows me to take control of my life and it makes me feel responsible, if that makes any sense.
I get goosebumps thinking about it, and I think about it very often.
 
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Kogoruhn

Kogoruhn

Student
May 20, 2018
109
It calms me to know that we have an escape from suffering, although making the decision is not easy.
 
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P

Pallf

I'm tired
May 27, 2018
356
It calms me to know that we have an escape from suffering, although making the decision is not easy.
Yeah pretty much this. This isn't a decision I'm making lightly, but I don't see myself getting any better so suicide is quite possibly an inevitable ending for me.
 
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E

Elaina

Member
May 16, 2018
96
It makes me sad that so many people feel that they need to resort to it. Myself included.
 
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M

millefeui

Enlightened
Mar 31, 2018
1,035
Not happy, but knowing I will eventually put an end to this misery calms me down.
 
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Zanexx

Zanexx

Dead
Jul 15, 2018
189
I know this is an old thread, but recently reading on suicide methods and talking to other people about suicide is the only thing that makes me feel slightly happy. I find it pretty much impossible to do anything else now, so that's the only thing that is able to distract me temporarily from the abyss which has become normal.
 
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L

leader-akiko

Member
Jul 30, 2018
17
I fall asleep to the thought of me bleeding out; I frequent this site specifically for good methods. Love the site, but not the suicidal thoughts.
 
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J

JessMcGuire

New Member
Aug 11, 2018
4
The research and the planning aspect really appeals to my type A personality. It brings me a sense of calmness when my anxiety is crushing me. I'm glad to have found this board. I wish so many people weren't struggling and this board didn't need to exist in the first place, but I appreciate the honest, no bs discussions that are allowed to happen here.
 
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ninaevol

ninaevol

Member
Aug 2, 2018
58
I can definitely relate. My whole life I've felt like others have had more control in what happens to me than I do. This is the only thing I feel I have control and power over. I finally feel like I have a choice.
 
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C

Comatose11

Mage
Jul 26, 2018
572
If I think they would work, I do. I think fantasizing about my death is a coping mechanism for me.
 
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D

Deleted member 847

Guest
What would make me happy is having something with me that would easily kill me whenever I want regardless if there's people at home. The quit button is justice and freedom. I wish one day we'll have a society where living and dying are choices not obligations.
Quit-Button-846x604.png
 
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BasedGod

BasedGod

Break the chains
Aug 13, 2018
39
Yeah, it's a sense of relief for me. Like one thing is going the right way.
 
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Tomasnil

Tomasnil

Mage
Apr 24, 2018
519
I wouldnt say happy but it calms me down alot
 
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T

Tiburcio

Guest
Only knowing there is an exit to life, I feel calmed. Now I only wish I really could do it.
 
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