f1lth

f1lth

fleabag
Jul 9, 2023
61
i get the feeling most people in my life are just waiting for me to end it and that itll be a relief to them once i do. I dont know how to describe how that feels, other than awful. Does anyone else feel this way ? why do you feel this way ? It seems like no matter what i say its not taken seriously, or if it is they just dont care
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: Kliofrey, LoiteringClouds, SamTam33 and 10 others
Death is my goal

Death is my goal

pathetic failure
Aug 25, 2022
506
i don't feel like this, maybe it's just in your head and nobody wants you to end it
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: f1lth
Upvote 0
jellie

jellie

Member
May 9, 2023
96
I feel this way sometimes. partially as a result of having an anxious attachment style, maybe you can relate to that.
i often feel as though my death would not make a difference in my "friends" and families lives. it feels like they only tolerate me but do not truly like me as a person.

we can never know what is going on in someone else's head. we could be worrying for no reason, but who can say for sure?
 
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: Kliofrey and f1lth
Upvote 1
MourningDove

MourningDove

Member
Oct 19, 2023
45
When I was still growing up I constantly got yelled at and scolded for making a lot of mistakes. However nowadays having coworkers dislike me and having harsh relationships with friends has driven the point into my skull that "nobody can ever truly like you". Makes living day to day 100x worse because it removes a lot of motivation with getting things done.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: Kliofrey, sensenmann, Kit1 and 2 others
Upvote 0
B

brokeandbroken

Enlightened
Apr 18, 2023
1,047
i get the feeling most people in my life are just waiting for me to end it and that itll be a relief to them once i do. I dont know how to describe how that feels, other than awful. Does anyone else feel this way ? why do you feel this way ? It seems like no matter what i say its not taken seriously, or if it is they just dont care
To be honest I don't know what people are doing. I feel like they are but on the other hand I don't think they care. I can say I'm sick of me. Does that count?
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: ultraviolence, Kit1, doormat25 and 1 other person
Upvote 0
F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
9,829
Maybe not to the extent that people are willing me to end it. Not that I tell people but I expect I'd still get platitudes back if I did. But yeah- I think people get tired of hearing pessimistic talk and problems. I don't really talk to anyone but my Dad now but he's definitely bored of it all. It partly makes me feel shit but I don't exactly feel bad about it. If anything, it makes me feel kind of angry. Like- your lucky I'm sparing you the worst of how I feel. You're getting the tip of the iceberg here! Plus- I'm sure it's boring for you to listen to but- I can bet you- it's a whole lot worse actually living this and ultimately- you brought me into this. You can't expect to have children and just expect them to grow up ok. But yeah- I don't say all that. We tend to just talk about random things instead a lot of the time.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: Kliofrey, Kit1, doormat25 and 1 other person
Upvote 0
dreaming_of_pearl

dreaming_of_pearl

I miss you I love you I’m sorry
Jun 10, 2023
54
i get the feeling most people in my life are just waiting for me to end it and that itll be a relief to them once i do. I dont know how to describe how that feels, other than awful. Does anyone else feel this way ? why do you feel this way ? It seems like no matter what i say its not taken seriously, or if it is they just dont care
I feel you, in my situation I can tell they are all sick of me they just won't admit it to my face
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: doormat25 and f1lth
Upvote 0
BLEH:3

BLEH:3

Member
Nov 6, 2023
51
Everything i do dictates that people are tired of me, I've had people leave that said that they wouldn't. I know the people around me would be better off without me even if they say otherwise. I know that a weight would be lifted off their shoulders.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: f1lth
Upvote 0
skybluesuicide

skybluesuicide

Member
May 31, 2023
38
Today I vented to my only 'friend' about my suicidal thoughts and this time they were indifferent to my words. In the past they would at least offer some words of encouragement or try to calm me down, but this time I just received 'mhm'. I guess they don't give a shit about me anymore.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: f1lth
Upvote 0
kaidatenn

kaidatenn

Kai kinda like the nitrite taste
Sep 19, 2023
38
i get the feeling most people in my life are just waiting for me to end it and that itll be a relief to them once i do. I dont know how to describe how that feels, other than awful. Does anyone else feel this way ? why do you feel this way ? It seems like no matter what i say its not taken seriously, or if it is they just dont care
Feel? No. They already said it outright to kai. "I'm tired of you. You're always like this."
Well kai didnt mean it. Kai dont know anymore whats ok and not ok when everything offends them.
Kai is tired too anyway. Maybe will actually end it.
 
  • Aww..
Reactions: f1lth
Upvote 0
S

SMmetalhead36

Ready to have my forever date with suicide
Oct 6, 2023
317
Not all the time but some days I do. That's why I isolate a lot
 
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: hermestrimegistus and f1lth
Upvote 0
An Hero

An Hero

New Member
Nov 1, 2023
2
i get the feeling most people in my life are just waiting for me to end it and that itll be a relief to them once i do. I dont know how to describe how that feels, other than awful. Does anyone else feel this way ? why do you feel this way ? It seems like no matter what i say its not taken seriously, or if it is they just dont care
Yes I do. I have spelt out to my Mother that I am going to CTB, that I have a method and will be doing it in the next 26 days (I am estranged from my whole family as I spoke out about being sexually abused and none of them believed me or want to deal with it) and she didn't do or say anything. She literally doesn't care enough to do anything to prevent it.I feel exactly what you feel. You're not alone x
 
  • Aww..
Reactions: f1lth
Upvote 0
R

rileywatson

Member
Oct 19, 2023
73
Yeah, a lot. I mostly just ignore the feeling, at least in terms of interacting with people.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: f1lth and Kurai
Upvote 0
hellispink

hellispink

poisonous
May 26, 2022
1,231
yes, however; i am super tired of them too
 
  • Love
Reactions: f1lth
Upvote 0
ang3lz

ang3lz

Member
Aug 17, 2023
25
I feel that all the time. I often wonder if the only thing keeping them around is pity for me.
 
  • Love
Reactions: f1lth
Upvote 0
L

letsmakeitagoodworl

Member
Sep 25, 2022
79
Y
i get the feeling most people in my life are just waiting for me to end it and that itll be a relief to them once i do. I dont know how to describe how that feels, other than awful. Does anyone else feel this way ? why do you feel this way ? It seems like no matter what i say its not taken seriously, or if it is they just dont care
Yes absolutely, after 15 years of being very physically & mentally sick to the extent of my heart failing 3x I've ruined family relationships, I don't talk to any of the few I have, the last convo with my sister was her saying how I half ruined everyone and basically I was shit. The one person I still talk to regularly seems to be distancing themsleves, it just makes me wanna kms more
 
  • Aww..
Reactions: f1lth
Upvote 0
K

Kit1

Enlightened
Oct 24, 2023
1,099
All the time - for those who are aware of the challenges I face (all professionals).
 
  • Love
Reactions: f1lth
Upvote 0
L

lionetta12

Just a random person
Aug 5, 2022
1,201
i get the feeling most people in my life are just waiting for me to end it and that itll be a relief to them once i do. I dont know how to describe how that feels, other than awful. Does anyone else feel this way ? why do you feel this way ? It seems like no matter what i say its not taken seriously, or if it is they just dont care
If I ever feel that way I just straight up ask what the problem is so I can fix it and address it so I can improve myself and my relation, or if the issue is to big and such or they are tierd of me for no reason, I simply just remove them from my life.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Lookoutbelow and f1lth
Upvote 0
N

nptg5

Member
Aug 30, 2023
37
i get the feeling most people in my life are just waiting for me to end it and that itll be a relief to them once i do. I dont know how to describe how that feels, other than awful. Does anyone else feel this way ? why do you feel this way ? It seems like no matter what i say its not taken seriously, or if it is they just dont care
yes, 100%. only one person - my mother - will actually care. everyone else will be relieved, or simply won't care.

If I ever feel that way I just straight up ask what the problem is so I can fix it and address it so I can improve myself and my relation, or if the issue is to big and such or they are tierd of me for no reason, I simply just remove them from my life.
i have tried this a few times. people hem and haw, or dodge the question, or just lie. for me, at least, i've never found a way to get a straight answer.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: f1lth
Upvote 0
AnonymousL

AnonymousL

Specialist
Apr 5, 2023
375
i get the feeling most people in my life are just waiting for me to end it and that itll be a relief to them once i do. I dont know how to describe how that feels, other than awful. Does anyone else feel this way ? why do you feel this way ? It seems like no matter what i say its not taken seriously, or if it is they just dont care
I feel this all the time.
Even with my mental health workers.

Like they're tired of talking with me
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: f1lth
Upvote 0
sweetgirl666

sweetgirl666

the soul of a coward wanting to leave this prison
Nov 5, 2023
32
i get the feeling most people in my life are just waiting for me to end it and that itll be a relief to them once i do. I dont know how to describe how that feels, other than awful. Does anyone else feel this way ? why do you feel this way ? It seems like no matter what i say its not taken seriously, or if it is they just dont care
I know what it's like, even drunk, the things I heard... My twin sister already told me to kill myself soon to give her and our parents peace, I constantly feel this feeling and the guilt because I really wish I could give peace by dying or pride in them living without my shitty mind and being someone
 
  • Aww..
Reactions: Weltall
Upvote 0
G

greebo6

Enlightened
Sep 11, 2020
1,621
Yes ,I have experienced this a lot in my life.
Though to be fair , I don't blame others for that. I would feel the same if I was them in regards to me.
 
Upvote 0

Similar threads

B
Replies
0
Views
142
Suicide Discussion
beenheredonethat
B
BecomingTired
Replies
2
Views
151
Offtopic
BecomingTired
BecomingTired
moodrings
Replies
0
Views
106
Suicide Discussion
moodrings
moodrings