Does anyone ever feel like they want to die after every minor inconvenience?

[jjnsjso44458]

I'm turning 24 this week and have never had a boyfriend. I hate my birthday, every year depresses me because it's just another stupid year in this world. I want to die so bad but every time I try to (hanging) it hurts really bad and I'm afraid of messing up. I think it's also due to the constant fear of my family's reaction to me dying. I don't want to put them through that pain, but I don't want to be here any longer. It's been like this since I was 12. I might have to try getting into counseling soon. I met someone online and went on two dates with him, I felt almost happy for once that I could finally form a connection with someone. He gave me a dry response when I texted him that I hope he has a good night shift on Friday. He never got back to me and had a habit of inconsistent communication. I was always afraid to look desperate so never tried to chase him, so I ended up blocking him since he just never reached out after that. He's a cop so I was constantly on the fence about dating him since I was afraid he would cheat on me. I guess I read too much bad stuff on the internet for validation. Was I really into him, or the idea of being with him to escape my own personal torment? Now I wanna die more than ever again. Does anyone else feel like everything is finally going well, but once it slips away you feel like everything has gone dark again? I can't take this anymore. I want to know that I'm not alone. I can't even get out of bed, it's messing me up. My mind has become more debilitating. It's really starting to take a toll on me.

 

[FoxSauce]

Whoops sorry. Im so sorry your going through that. Really

 

[tunnelV]

All of the time, I think it's a situation where we feel overwhelmed already. We are at our wits end and any minor thing just sends up over the deep end. I think people can call that "snapping". I feel like dying sometimes when coworkers overtalk to me about their lives. They go on and on and on. It's very rude to force someone into conversation that they didn't ask for simply for your own personal attention needs. I wouldn't feel stressed out about it if I could socially tell them to leave me alone and go away. It's rude to say that but not rude to force someone into listening to you rambling on.