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borderlinee

borderlinee

Member
Oct 6, 2023
44
It's like my whole life purpose depends on how attractive I feel, I know I'm probably just average, but it's not enough for me. I'll never be pretty or beautiful. It hurts when people lie to me saying that I am pretty, they just feel bad for me. I just wish someone was honest with me for once.
 
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ijustwishtodie

ijustwishtodie

death will be my ultimate bliss
Oct 29, 2023
3,678
I am ugly but, no, that isn't why I want to kill myself. The reason why I want to kill myself is because I find death to be peaceful and suicide seems like the shortest pathway to death. Life isn't something that I want to live and I'll never be able to find peace in life due to how almost everything doesn't make me happy
 
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RationalGaze

RationalGaze

"Come join with me, to save a failed humanity"
Feb 4, 2024
11
I am ugly but, no, that isn't why I want to kill myself. The reason why I want to kill myself is because I find death to be peaceful and suicide seems like the shortest pathway to death. Life isn't something that I want to live and I'll never be able to find peace in life due to how almost everything doesn't make me happy
I agree, and I can relate, because I look weird and stupid and I hate myself. For years people told me that I look like some creep or weirdo, and I was and still am fucking tired of it lol. Sometimes the world can treat you like shit for the stupidest reasons, or just no reason at all.
 
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H25pital Order

H25pital Order

Liquid Medication
Dec 4, 2023
37
If you want honesty, upload a photo for us to rate on a scale of 1 to 10.
 
mortuarymary

mortuarymary

Enlightened
Jan 17, 2024
1,367
Im average. But I feel I have beauty inside. I do beautiful things for my rescue animals etc.
My partner thinks I'm beautiful. That's all that matters to me.
It's like my whole life purpose depends on how attractive I feel, I know I'm probably just average, but it's not enough for me. I'll never be pretty or beautiful. It hurts when people lie to me saying that I am pretty, they just feel bad for me. I just wish someone was honest with me for once.
You are beautiful.
 
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LaVieEnRose

LaVieEnRose

Angelic
Jul 23, 2022
4,058
It doesn't help. When you live in a looksist society (which is all of them) it's hard not to be affected.
 
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vkore

vkore

Member
Feb 27, 2023
10
It's like my whole life purpose depends on how attractive I feel, I know I'm probably just average, but it's not enough for me. I'll never be pretty or beautiful. It hurts when people lie to me saying that I am pretty, they just feel bad for me. I just wish someone was honest with me for once.
yeah. i am 20 and barely have had any friends since the age of 13. i'm unattractive. i have fucked up teeth and i'm overweight and been desperatly trying to lose weight for years and failed because i'm lazy, depressed and just hopeless. i feel like my life is some big joke. no matter how hard i try, i'm always everyone's last choice. at least i know people will get over my death easier, since no one seems to care about my life. i truly wish this world treated unattractive people like actual humans, but that's not the case. i want to cry every time i step outside because people see my face and body. but that's not gonna change so at least it'll end when i finally leave. <3
 
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N

NaNO2_is_the_answer

Member
Oct 18, 2023
49
Yes, I'm ugly and mentally ill
 
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peaches

Student
Oct 19, 2022
105
In my family, and the society where I grew up, women had to be beautiful, and men had to be wealthy. If a woman was not beautiful, she had nothing, she was worth nothing, and everyone whispered and tiptoed around her.
I was not beautiful. I never wanted anyone to look at me. I had a terrible time leaving the house. I thought any physical compliments about me were either trite or lies.
I am incapable of any empathy for women who are beautiful. I know that they wouldn't last five minutes looking like me, and every door in the world is open to them strictly because of how they look.
 
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Thanksforeverything

Thanksforeverything

A handshake of carbon monoxide
Jul 24, 2023
237
I think a lot of people keep perceiving beauty as an inherently objective thing when that couldn't be further from the truth. Beauty, particularly in terms of physical appearance is extremely subjective. Don't get me wrong, physical appearance is definitely an important factor in terms of relationships, but how it's perceived in extremely nuanced. For example, I've been part of a friend group where 3 of the women were professional magazine models but I felt zero attraction towards them because we didn't have an emotional connection. On the other hand, another friend of mine would probably be considered average when compared to these models, but to me she looked like Helen of Troy because of how much I personally connected with her.

At the end of the day, your personality carries a lot more weight than your physical appearance. This is always the case once you get to know someone. If you initially think someone's not objectively attractive, ugly even, you'll find yourself noticing that less and less the more you get to know them. The same works the other way around for people you might find pretty at first sight. Our brain places a weird sense of attachment between how we perceive a person's overall self with how we perceive their physical appearance.
If you want honesty, upload a photo for us to rate on a scale of 1 to 10.
Also, DO NOT do this. A stranger's opinion who knows nothing about you whatsoever is absolutely worthless. Besides this forum isn't an appropriate place for this.
 
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EvisceratedJester

EvisceratedJester

|| What Else Could I Be But a Jester ||
Oct 21, 2023
2,093
While ugliness isn't really at the top of my list for reasons why I want to ctb, it definitely is something that pushes me to want to ctb. I'm so fucking ugly that sometimes just looking at my body alone is enough to make me want to stab myself over and over again.

My sh has also been getting worse recently so now I have a bunch of scars on my arms (primarily my right arm) making me feel even more ugly.

My boobs aren't perky (when I look at them I always get the urge to chop them off with a knife), my feet are big, my face is ugly and looks old and young at the same time, I have scars on my legs from pulling out the hairs there (it's a bad habit), I have no ass or hips, and my hair is hard to style so it always looks like crap. There's more but that's all I can think of off the top of my head at the moment.

Sometimes I find myself conflicted as to whether I just mutilate the hell out of my body because of how ugly it is or if I shouldn't because it would just my issues in regards to my looks worse.

Part of the reason why I sexted older men was because of those issues, but it didn't so much to make me feel better about myself.

I'm ugly and there isn't anything I can do about it. Sorry for the rant by the way. I know this post comes off as a bit over dramatic and really pathetic....
 
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AdamOndiAhman

AdamOndiAhman

dreaming on kolob
Feb 8, 2024
80
It's like my whole life purpose depends on how attractive I feel, I know I'm probably just average, but it's not enough for me. I'll never be pretty or beautiful. It hurts when people lie to me saying that I am pretty, they just feel bad for me. I just wish someone was honest with me for once.
i want to kill myself because half of my body is chadlike and the other half is incel tier. like literally my left side of my body is so much more defined than the right side, from the skull to my hip. and the worst bit about this is that i did it to myself by excessively masturbating in my teen yrs. but me excessively masturbating was just a coping mechanism i used inorder to deal with external problems and situations i had to experience and had no control over. im such a fucking mess and a freak. i have this hope of me being able to even out my muscle imbalance but im just so despondent about everything that i mostly wonder about the use of it all and occasionally fantasise about throwing myself off a cliff or something just to get myself out of this self imposed hell im stuck in
 
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A

Anon1337

Mage
Oct 1, 2018
530
My appearance has never been a problem for me.
 
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roo

roo

I’m alright, spring will come to me too someday
Feb 20, 2022
44
yes it seems so vain but its a big part of why i want to ctb. being ugly plays into sm things im missing out on in life, not being able to experience love bc of my physical appearance or not being able to feel confident even if i wear nice clothes is really draining. i have no pictures of myself from 13-now bc i cant stand to see myself. even my friends dont ask me to be in pictures bc i ruin them. its really hard to exist in a society that values beauty sm, being ugly makes me feel like a freak.
 
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Toobrokentofix

Toobrokentofix

Experienced
Jul 7, 2020
234
In a way yes. I am too fugly and my head is too screwed up to ever have a long term relationship and I feel very alone and hopeless because of that
 
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M

mtoro998

Experienced
Feb 29, 2024
256
Thankfully my appearence was never an issue. However if I become disfigured or something then I would definitely cbt over that.
 
Throwawayacc3

Throwawayacc3

Freedom
Mar 4, 2024
1,385
So a lot of people here are describing the "halo" effect. To paraphrase it - if someone (man or woman) is considered attractive - other people give them the benefit of the doubt. A prime example of this is Jeremy Meeks - quite the past including assaulting a 16 year old however his sentence is what it is and now he is praised by the masses as a model and has a career.
Looks/money is a big factor to how your life can play out but in the last 10 years it's gone into overdrive - you seem to get rewarded for doing stupid things, breaking the law, being scum, etc.

Anyways back to the point. A good start would be to watch someone on YouTube called Dbdr. Guy describes himself as a sub-5 male (meaning his is below 5/10 on the looks scale), he's probably autistic or some other mental factor given how he reacts to social situations. And to quote him - "it's over". He's not the angry type he just points out what reality is. I actually did one thing he did back in 2018/2019. I wanted to know how bad the playing field was for dating apps (I'd never had a relationship, I'm considered ok looking and gym work helped a little oh and height is a moot point even though I'm above 6ft) so I took two photos of those STOCKImage pictures of a woman. This person doesn't exist - it's one of those generated images that a lot of companies used back then. She wasn't ugly and she wasn't pretty. Put it into two app, very vague bio, I wasn't going to reply to anyone. After 1 day…. I couldn't keep up with the amount of messages.

2018/2019 - put my profile out there. Has 3 dates (last one became my partner but 4 years later it's finished). Also didn't do the whole swipe everyone and then pick. I was more interested in the text to see what their general perception was (I wouldn't want to be with someone who didn't like animals for example). So yeah it's quite messed up I would say if you take it at a mathematical level (the odds are not in your favour).

Government/people in power do not like these groups and always demonise them:

Incels, femcels, suicide, MGTOW, going off grid, etc.

Because these group see an underlying issue but that causes them to not conform. Non-conformity is something that the powers are very afraid of.
 
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offtoseethewizard

offtoseethewizard

Student
Aug 19, 2023
114
It's like my whole life purpose depends on how attractive I feel, I know I'm probably just average, but it's not enough for me. I'll never be pretty or beautiful. It hurts when people lie to me saying that I am pretty, they just feel bad for me. I just wish someone was honest with me for once.
Not initially - but feeling ugly did make me sad and depressed. this depression then made me predisposed to drug addiction when the opportunity arose, because I hated myself and felt like destroying myself.

That ruined my mental health properly, and now I'm suicidal. And I regret the whole thing and just wish I could have adapted.

Nothing in life is fair
 
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DistraughtWolf

DistraughtWolf

Member
Dec 11, 2023
12
It's definitely not the sole reason but it sadly has turned out to be another thing that just kept getting worse and now it's one of the bigger reasons.

I considered myself "average" about 3 to 4 years back and occasionally even had moments where i could look myself in the mirror and be like "damn!"

Sadly i started balding and realized this way too late, like several years late. Didn't help that i was constantly being lied to that it was "just normal maturing hairline" I would have been completely fine with high hairline and the "v-shape" but arguably i got the worst pattern that takes all the hair in front and keeps ripping it out until i'm completely bald.

I don't care what anyone else thinks about my appearance, but i personally can't accept this. My hair was one of those features i still had going on for me as i have several other "conventionally ugly" features and that.. that's why it really hurts.
 
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