Does anyone else not do it because of ?laziness"?

[Sadsadsad0000]

Whenever I get into a severe depressive episode, I usually beat myself and plan on ways to kill myself. I don't meticulously carve into myself with a knife nor do I get my affairs in order to even make an attempt on my own life... I just... lie in bed. Sometimes I sleep all day. Sometimes I collapse and cry around the house, having accomplished nothing. Even in the state I am now, reflecting on how, ever since I developed my PTSD as a child, I have always hated myself deep down and wanted to die young, I still can't bring myself to die, just as much as I can't bring myself to call my doctor or make food. What the hell is wrong with me?

 

[Liebestod]

100%, I suspect that's the reason alongside general SI and other copes why I haven't ordered my gun yet.

 

[[Lord Void]]

To answer the question, yes without a doubt. I mean today I had wanted to write one of my notes or something and instead ended up accomplishing nothing. It's terrible..

 

[Sadsadsad0000]

Terribly sorry that you both are going through the same thing I am. We're not in this alone. Hopefully things get better soon

 

[Hystearical]

Laziness isn't really the right word. It's more of a question of emotional inertia, which is very hard to overcome.

 

[kyuuketsuki]

it is a lot of effort, mentally, emotionally, and physically, to go through with it. for me, i'm currently at the "laziness" stage where i find sourcing the materials needed for my CTB to be too exhausting/stressful for the energy levels my mental and physical health allow me each day. (especially since i don't live alone.) i really regret not ordering SN back before i moved, like i wanted to but chickened out of (because i also didn't live alone back then either and the risk of wellness checks petrifies me.)

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

Yes has been difficult to do even the simplest task

And they made suicide a million times more difficult by making it a crime to hire someone to kill me

I hate doing anything anyway

I just want to die

 

[MyShadow]

Laziness isn't really the right word. It's more of a question of emotional inertia, which is very hard to overcome.

I could never put it into accurate words. Thank you for defining this feeling for me.
In the morning, unless I have to go to work, I stay in bed way too long. I try to sleep but can't but try anyhow. I just can't get up to face the day. Then I'll get up and stare at the empty refrigerator, knowing that I have to go the store, but will make myself coffee (there's always coffee) and forget to eat. Thanks for my depression, my appetite is shit anyway.

@LaVieEnRose defined it as "emotional inertia" and that's about as accurate as you can get. Because without that inertia, depression keeps you chained to staying comfortable no matter what your brain is telling you to do.

 

[Ligottian]

I live alone and almost never have visitors. Whenever my house gets dirty or cluttered enough to take some action, I wind up saying "Fuck, nobody is going to see it but me". I wait until it gets really bad. Right now I should be doing my laundry. Should have brushed my teeth already as well.

 

[trashisland]

I feel the same. I can barely do anything anymore without great effort. even just thinking about the ways ill ctb exhausts me, I wish I could just not exist someday rather than make an attempt. but im not really lazy about it, more so just depressed and very empty inside

 

[Irisse]

I guess I'm not too lazy for attempt-related things, but I'm definitely lazy for other things I need to do in life like studying and exercise and keeping my apartment clean. I just can't do it, all I want is death. So I just end up laying in bed and ruminating about my paranoias and I accomplish nothing.