Discussion Does anyone else hate sympathy

[Forgetting5]

Its one of the reasons I don't talk about suicide outside of therapy. I can't stand the sympathetic responses of "aww I'm sorry" or even worst the opinions that come along with it ("life is beautiful and worth living!") I feel like it hinders me but also makes me feel worse. At this point the thought of death is the only thing that actually keeps me going

 

[Forever Sleep]

Actually, sympathy helps me- if it's genuine obviously. Just an acknowledgement that I'm struggling really- even if there's nothing anyone can do to help. Most of the time, it's a response with 'at least' in... 'at least you have this, or that' which is basically a- stop whinging and be grateful/ look on the brightside response. Then it just becomes a misery contest on how them, or other people have it worse... Which they do but I don't see how that's supposed to make me feel better.

I think for people who have never contemplated it, it's just too difficult for them to get their heads around. They maybe don't know how to talk about it and probably don't want to. Just as we find positive people with all their positive platitudes intolerable, I imagine 'happy' people don't want to be 'brought down' talking about self anhilation.

As much as I love my Dad, I know he doesn't want to cope with me as I am honestly. I've never actually told him HOW bad I feel either. I generally only tell people after I get the impression they have considered it themselves. I think we're pretty much aliens to 'normal' folk and vice versa.

 

[FuneralCry]

Talking about suicide could never really achieve anything. After all, everyone experiences life differently and we cannot ever really understand what someone else goes through. The truth is that we are all alone as humans, only we are the one who is experiencing our life. Often interacting with people can make things worse and I cannot stand those pro life platitudes. But seriously for anyone to say that life is beautiful then they must be delusional. It really doesn't reflect reality saying something like that. The thought of death is the only comforting thing for me, I understand. There is nothing more ideal than permanently ceasing to exist and there really is no peace or relief in a life like this.

 

[SunshineAndSuicide]

Right there with you. I hated when, the few times I opened up to people, they responded with "things will get better, just hang on". I understand that they don't understand and it's unfair of me to expect a good answer containing a solution though.

 

[Cerulea]

Semi-recently, I told a close friend of mine about a previous attempt I made a while ago. They responded to me with, "I still love you and I'm not here to judge you." I think that's the best possible outcome. Would I tell this person about my current planning? Absolutely not. I can't afford to be interrupted or having big, emotional conversations about things I know they won't understand. Sympathy used to feel good to me. I used to feel that relief of being seen, heard, understood. These days, I know what it's like when someone really sees me. And no one I know does. I have no desire to be vulnerable like that with people who cannot understand. It's exhausting. Once the suicidal ideation entered my head, it never left. For someone who doesn't know that place, there's no relating. What I have needed, since I was small, was empathy, not sympathy. I can't get what I need so I don't engage anymore. I just make my plans, follow through on my preparation, and keep myself focused on the task at hand.

 

[ryo the frog]

I also hate sympathy because it's just feeling bad for someone because they're blatantly in a bad place. this is why I can't tell anyone about my suicidal ideation because instead of trying to see where I'm coming from they'll just pity me and throw all the pro life shit that we all already know .
it pisses me off to no end. suicidal people are constantly forced to empathize with the idea of living but we can't get that same sentiment with our end. just so needlessly close-minded.

 

[Hollowillow]

Sympathy would be an upgrade. I was bullied by a sadistic narcissist, threatened by social services, had disgust, contempt, my basic human rights violated, sexual abuse by a friend pretending to come to cheer me up...

I'm pro murder. I wish I was as insane as they accuse me to be, bad personality disorder for real... And go bat shit crazy on those heartless sadists.