Discussion Does anyone else grieve for the past?

[Forest Fire]

Its pretty much a daily thing for me. Even most of my non nightmare dreams contain places or people i had in my life from at least 10 years ago. Then i wake up it takes a few moments to realise it's not real and thats me done for the day.
I think for me it's made worse by the fact i can't handle the aging process.
It's a truly gut wrenching feeling

 

[jolongone]

I am in my mid sixties and l constantly grieve for the good old days before the internet, 911 and being able to be kids not worrying about anything, but my friend said to me you do realize that one day this will be the good old days, what a thought

 

[madge1]

Hey all,

This is something I don't really feel comfortable discussing anywhere else, but I'm still hoping for a bit of perspective and maybe some validation? Virtual hugs? I dunno.

I used to have a fantastic group of friends whom I did things with that made me happier than I may have been since leaving my childhood years. Unfortunately time, life, and my own mental illness ruined it all and though we all still care for each other the excitement and activities we used to do are no more.

It hurts me deeply every time I remember that a lot of this was probably my doing for becoming so mentally ill and being so desperate to maintain my friendships and happiness that I ended up doing the opposite.

Every time my RSD tells me that they're ignoring me specifically or that they dont even communicate as much because of me feels like a knife to the gut.

I read a thing that people with ADHD struggle with grief because they forget it before they process it. My grandma just died and the grief of that combined with the grief of me missing the life I feel like I ruined is incredibly overwhelming at times. It makes me want to CTB just to escape it.

Thankfully it's temporary and I know it'll pass, but that doesn't make the grief hurt any less.

Has anyone else experienced something similar?

…
I so miss the days when I felt like people cared. About me. About my ideas. I know that they do care and that I'm being selfish but god I miss the old days.

I miss the old me before I got mentally ill I miss being able to cope with life so simply my brain overthinking things people do care they just don't have the time to do it actions speak louder than words

 

[Celerity]

Yes and no. I wish I could change the past and feel strongly that I have misspent my years, but I wouldn't want to relive any of it per se.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

Yes and no. I wish I could change the past and feel strongly that I have misspent my years, but I wouldn't want to relive any of it per se.

I feel this on a personal level tbh. I feel I could have done more in my past. Even though I'm still young, it feels like I wasted a lot of my years. My childhood, however, was very traumatic and I wouldn't want to endure all of it.

 

[sserafim]

Hey all,

This is something I don't really feel comfortable discussing anywhere else, but I'm still hoping for a bit of perspective and maybe some validation? Virtual hugs? I dunno.

I used to have a fantastic group of friends whom I did things with that made me happier than I may have been since leaving my childhood years. Unfortunately time, life, and my own mental illness ruined it all and though we all still care for each other the excitement and activities we used to do are no more.

It hurts me deeply every time I remember that a lot of this was probably my doing for becoming so mentally ill and being so desperate to maintain my friendships and happiness that I ended up doing the opposite.

Every time my RSD tells me that they're ignoring me specifically or that they dont even communicate as much because of me feels like a knife to the gut.

I read a thing that people with ADHD struggle with grief because they forget it before they process it. My grandma just died and the grief of that combined with the grief of me missing the life I feel like I ruined is incredibly overwhelming at times. It makes me want to CTB just to escape it.

Thankfully it's temporary and I know it'll pass, but that doesn't make the grief hurt any less.

Has anyone else experienced something similar?

…
I so miss the days when I felt like people cared. About me. About my ideas. I know that they do care and that I'm being selfish but god I miss the old days.

I have ADHD and I grieve for and miss the past as well. I'm in my early 20s and I wish I could go back 10 years and re-live my life from then. I miss my childhood, high school, and college years. I feel like I didn't appreciate them enough in the moment. I hate being an adult. I never even wanted to be one in the first place. Adulthood is literally a scam. I truly believe that the best moment and time in life is childhood/teenage years/any time before adulthood. Everything just goes downhill after you become an adult. I hate the fact that I had to grow up. I wish I could be a kid again, and I wish I could've been one forever. I wish I could go back to a time when things were carefree. I have so much nostalgia for the past and my childhood. I honestly think I have Peter Pan syndrome.

 

[Life Is My Coffin]

 

[I Can't Say]

Stop romanticising your past!
You were miserable back then too

But I used to believe that it would get better.

 

[raindrops]

Hey all,

This is something I don't really feel comfortable discussing anywhere else, but I'm still hoping for a bit of perspective and maybe some validation? Virtual hugs? I dunno.

I used to have a fantastic group of friends whom I did things with that made me happier than I may have been since leaving my childhood years. Unfortunately time, life, and my own mental illness ruined it all and though we all still care for each other the excitement and activities we used to do are no more.

It hurts me deeply every time I remember that a lot of this was probably my doing for becoming so mentally ill and being so desperate to maintain my friendships and happiness that I ended up doing the opposite.

Every time my RSD tells me that they're ignoring me specifically or that they dont even communicate as much because of me feels like a knife to the gut.

I read a thing that people with ADHD struggle with grief because they forget it before they process it. My grandma just died and the grief of that combined with the grief of me missing the life I feel like I ruined is incredibly overwhelming at times. It makes me want to CTB just to escape it.

Thankfully it's temporary and I know it'll pass, but that doesn't make the grief hurt any less.

Has anyone else experienced something similar?

…
I so miss the days when I felt like people cared. About me. About my ideas. I know that they do care and that I'm being selfish but god I miss the old days.

I cry all the time about the past. I feel so alone even when I'm in a crowd of people, i could even be sat with people, talking with them, I could be laughing and i still feel so very alone inside. In the past I didn't feel alone as I do now though. I don't look antisocial either, its jusy my mum died when I was 14, I miss her every day and it's made me so severely depressed not having a complete family. I can't cope with most things either, I am pathetic, honestly. Sometimes I think when will these feelings shift and they don't for me but I have an appointment soon to chat with doctors so I'm hopeful. I struggle with friendships/relationships I just think someone will let you down. I only want positive memories, happy times, it's hard to put trust into people

 

[ctvunny]

Yes, and it haunts me even in my dreams. I dont know who to blame covid or the incompetent me.

 

[traumer]

i fully understand! sometimes i even miss the passing moment because i fear i might not find the energy to be myself again. it saddens me even while the event is still happening, i can't trust myself enough to believe i will let myself enjoy the moment for once again.

 

[avoid_slow_death]

Hell, its all I think about even though my life has been pretty much going from trauma to trauma for the past 3 decades. But despite that, always had some sort of support system or something to hope for. Nowadays all that is long gone and so I pretty much bury myself in those times. And usually not in a good way either, so I get it unfortunately.