Discussion Does anyone else go from "I wanna ctb so bad" to "life, let's kick its ass!" in a few minutes to hours?

[muffin222]

I can relate. That's why I haven't been able to bring myself to actually die because I know that no matter how deep the despair, it always passes in time. It comes back, of course...but it does pass for a period of time.

 

[builtwrong]

I used to get that a lot, I feel like it was a self preservation thing, noticing myself getting scarily close to reconciling with death made me over compensate my hopes and expectations in response. Of course, I haven't had any hope recently, now I just think "surely things aren't that bad, you're just over reacting" without ever seeing or believing in a way of fixing my life

 

[epic]

Not Anymore.

 

[Sweet Release]

I get this a lot!
I get overwhelmed with despair and trauma but then I will think "I'M NOT DEAD YET AND I AINT GIVING UP MOTHER FUCKERS!".
It don't last that long though as I look in the mirror and see an aged beaten up sad face looking back at me.

I used to read a lot of books and watch films where the heroes would face overwhelming odds but would pull through some how!
I guess I take inspiration from those stories.
However, recently I've been thinking that my story won't have such a happy ending.

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

not really... wanting to "kick life's ass" per say, but i do have some moments where i'm content with my life. i'm never truly content, though, because suicide always lingers in the back of my mind. those content feelings are often ruined with some simple sentences or events, anyways.

 

[Wayfaerer]

God, no. No...

If you feel this way, then I'm sure you're not as hopeless as you think you are (which is good.)

 

[WastedSpace]

Yes absolutely. Im suuuper fucked up in the head/ crazy/delusional. Right now im on team "let's get this over with as soon as possible." This morning I was all pumped about how sobriety was gonna solve all my problems

 

[goodbyearies]

Not Anymore.

This. It wears off eventually without improvement.

 

[Squiddy]

Back to feeling like shit :(

 

[KimKevorkian]

More like from wanting to CTB to wanting, with a passion, to beat my enemies with a baseball bat!

 

[m4rius]

If you're mentally unstable due to your sensitivity to stress, anxiety, etc. You're going to go up and down, a lot.

Extreme opposites would be something like a born psychopath. They're inherently stable, a bit too stable, cold and machine-like.

 

[omlet]

A few minutes ago, I felt completely hopeless, but now I'm looking at colleges and am like, "let's do this! I got this!" I hate this feeling so much. One second, I'm completely pessimistic, the next optimistic. I'll probably go back to being pessimistic in a few minutes.

Not me. I'm almost always depressed

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Antidepressants might help sustain an elevated mood

 

[jumbles421]

Sometimes I will feel optimistic but after that ends I feel way worse than normal and its not fun at all

 

[Spiritual survivor]

Today has been tough. I teared up missing someone. Then this evening I was sad because I wish my life was different making me desiring to exit.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

I will go from "I want to die immediately" to thinking that if I get paid back by my mother, I'd last another year and go to SK to cross that off my bucket list (even though Mom owing me money isn't the reason for be wanting to CTB), and then immediately back to "I want to die immediately" when I see a trigger.

 

[SeeminglyFine]

Had it few years ago, my understanding is that everything was such a mess that i had to overcompensate by doing superhuman stuff as a brain defense mechanism that compells me to switch my mind state from : everything is so messed up theres no point trying, to>> il just work so hard, and if i crash, il try even harder to fall asleep, watch guided sleep meditation or whatever lol..

 

[TimetoGo!]

A few minutes ago, I felt completely hopeless, but now I'm looking at colleges and am like, "let's do this! I got this!" I hate this feeling so much. One second, I'm completely pessimistic, the next optimistic. I'll probably go back to being pessimistic in a few minutes.

absolutely!! I can go from the depths of despair to wanting to change my whole life round, fight for things I want and make people proud......but then I drop back again. The brain is one fucked up organ!!

maybe thats why so many dont go through with it, and sit for years pondering it. Its also why I dont take any medication, they warp your mind into thinking things are ok when they are not.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Only if I have a creative (preferably paid- it's my job) project to sink my teeth into- and not always then. Depends how exciting the project is.

Otherwise- no- I find it very difficult to be optimistic or motivated about anything.