I feel the exact same way, and it's probably one of the driving forces for why I feel so low all the time. I like connection, I enjoy being happy with other people, I love when you're with people you feel you can be your 100% unfiltered self around… the trouble is I can't make those connections.
I hate small talk. Nobody actually wants to talk about the weather or the news with strangers, right? So I opt for silence. But in doing that, the strangers remain strangers. It's this whole social dance thing in our society, the way you have to go about interacting with people. You have to follow the script or you're marked as weird. I wish we could do away with the script. I'd so much prefer a stranger to come up to me and be like "okay thoughts on the universe and where we fit in- go!"