does anyone else feel terminally unlucky?

[deprecatedfruition]

this is gonna be a bit of a rant since it's kinda my style but i thank you if you read the whole thing

also i have no idea if this goes here, i feel kinda shitty posting this among posts about failed attempts and the like, considering this is way lighter, but it's still something that impacts my mental state severely so i don't think it's appropriate for off-topic either???

either way,

it's always felt like i have really bad luck. like, impossibly bad luck, like some kind of cosmic force - though i'm not superstitious, religious or anything in that vein - is actively working against me in every imaginable way. i feel somewhat bad for feeling this way, knowing people certainly have and have had it way worse, but i feel like my bad luck isn't necessarily dramatic or drastic - not usually at least; it's a really petty type of bad luck. like, something out there (though, again, not literally probably??) is toying with me, trying to piss me off, to get me to break. i've thought of submitting to it a few times since literally every single thing i ever do leads into disappointment, embarrassment or worse. i can literally never even do the smallest thing without something going wrong, specifically in a way that makes me look like a fucking tool, i can't even put this in any way that doesn't sound tame and nothing-burgery as hell, but i swear, it feels like some cosmic force i have had to put up with my whole life. this is obviously not the sole contributor to me considering ctb, but it certainly doesn't help.

does anybody else feel this way??

 

[takuyablackbox]

i can definitely get into ruts like this. especially now more than ever lol, just in the past few months i:

got fired
lost my relationship
anddd my car got stolen

but i balance it out with gratuity! i'm from ethiopia, i've lived there for a while, so i know how fortunate i am for living in america. from another angle you can argue that you're impossibly lucky. and that for every setback, you could count 100 more blessings and opportunities. i know it kinda sounds corny or preachy but-- there's two sides to it. i hope life starts treating u better tho lol. hugz.

 

[undo445]

I feel you. It's like my nightmares keep coming true all the fucking time.

 

[LighthouseHermit]

Yes, I feel the same way. Sorry that you experience so much bad luck. Life should be random, but it seems some people just have all the bad luck. It's unfair and lonely.

I wish you the best luck and hope your bad luck will get less.

 

[MyShadow]

it's always felt like i have really bad luck. like, impossibly bad luck, like some kind of cosmic force

My bad luck is centered around my depression. Whenever things go wrong in my life, my depression (and anxiety and PTSD) kick in and my interest in life disappears. Subsequently, so do my opportunities. This has been a vicious cycle for decades and now it's gotten to the point where I am here, trying to sort out how to kill myself.

 

[idiotmother]

YES. I believe I've been cursed. Poisoned by psych meds and it keeps getting worse and worse. Need to just end it already but I'd devastate my family. But definitely terminally unlucky. And no one believes me.