Venting Does anyone else feel like they're too broken for life & relationships?

[Suicidebydeath]

I know I'm not the person I should be, and I've been let down so many times in my life when it could've been turned around by other people.

I've just finished writing a complaint to RCPUK about a psychiatrist that I saw a long while back, that laughed and asked where I enjoyed stuff that happened to me when I was younger and abducted. Sadly, I don't remember much else about him, but I hope somehow they can narrow it down from my records since there's only one person I saw at that time and place. He made me feel suicidal for months and put me off therapy, I haven't been again since then.

Before that another psych shouted at me, etc and when I saw one in childhood he completely screwed me over listening to my family's lies. I was also let down by teachers severely at school, and a doctor in adulthood completely failed to diagnose several conditions, leaving me in agony when I was in a relationship with someone.

If any of these times, just one of these people hadn't let me down, my life could be completely different now.

Now I'm just broken, I feel too broken for relationships. It's a lot to explain to most people why I'm not satisfied with myself anymore, even if I'm resilient enough to get this far I'm not the person I should be. Anyone that would listen or understand, or if they've been in a similar place to me, I don't deserve anyway.

 

[Aim]

I'm so sorry to read this! I feel you. But sometimes we forget that feelings are only feelings. Digging down to the root of it, can and could really help.

 

[ve.nin]

I know I'm not the person I should be, and I've been let down so many times in my life when it could've been turned around by other people.

I've just finished writing a complaint to RCPUK about a psychiatrist that I saw a long while back, that laughed and asked where I enjoyed stuff that happened to me when I was younger and abducted. Sadly, I don't remember much else about him, but I hope somehow they can narrow it down from my records since there's only one person I saw at that time and place. He made me feel suicidal for months and put me off therapy, I haven't been again since then.

Before that another psych shouted at me, etc and when I saw one in childhood he completely screwed me over listening to my family's lies. I was also let down by teachers severely at school, and a doctor in adulthood completely failed to diagnose several conditions, leaving me in agony when I was in a relationship with someone.

If any of these times, just one of these people hadn't let me down, my life could be completely different now.

Now I'm just broken, I feel too broken for relationships. It's a lot to explain to most people why I'm not satisfied with myself anymore, even if I'm resilient enough to get this far I'm not the person I should be. Anyone that would listen or understand, or if they've been in a similar place to me, I don't deserve anyway.

 

[Kit1]

I know I'm not the person I should be, and I've been let down so many times in my life when it could've been turned around by other people.

I've just finished writing a complaint to RCPUK about a psychiatrist that I saw a long while back, that laughed and asked where I enjoyed stuff that happened to me when I was younger and abducted. Sadly, I don't remember much else about him, but I hope somehow they can narrow it down from my records since there's only one person I saw at that time and place. He made me feel suicidal for months and put me off therapy, I haven't been again since then.

Before that another psych shouted at me, etc and when I saw one in childhood he completely screwed me over listening to my family's lies. I was also let down by teachers severely at school, and a doctor in adulthood completely failed to diagnose several conditions, leaving me in agony when I was in a relationship with someone.

If any of these times, just one of these people hadn't let me down, my life could be completely different now.

Now I'm just broken, I feel too broken for relationships. It's a lot to explain to most people why I'm not satisfied with myself anymore, even if I'm resilient enough to get this far I'm not the person I should be. Anyone that would listen or understand, or if they've been in a similar place to me, I don't deserve anyway.

I am so sorry that you were subjected ro further abuse, mistreatment, callousness , unprofessional judgemental idiots pretending to be educated people who are supposed to be treating you (and failing to-do so) with dignity, empathy and kind regards during extremely vulnerable periods of your life. There appears to be a few of usbon this forum who have been subjected to similar treatment by NHS staff and some other professionals. They are not all bad - some are really good, some are really bad, some will do their jobs as a paid for job rather than as a service and quite a few are jobsworths who will not think outside the box - same with all services and a mirror image of society probably. You (none of us) deserve to be abused and I am sorry that it hurts so much knowing that people had written away our lives without giving us a chance - I seriously hear you and feel your pain as I am one of those who are at loggerheads with the NHS and multiple services have let me down as well. We might feel alone - but we have strength in number with that feeling and it is worth trying to fight for ourselves, be kind to ourselves and try and make something out of our messy lives.

You deserved to be treated kindly, compassionately, with dignity, taken seriously, properly diagnosed, given valuable treatments - and yes your story might have been different if that had happened and you might have been happier, confident etc.

I hope that everything works out for you. Please keep reaching out and if you would like to chat, let me know.

Take care