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Suicidebydeath
No chances to be happy - dead inside
- Nov 25, 2021
- 3,561
I know I'm not the person I should be, and I've been let down so many times in my life when it could've been turned around by other people.
I've just finished writing a complaint to RCPUK about a psychiatrist that I saw a long while back, that laughed and asked where I enjoyed stuff that happened to me when I was younger and abducted. Sadly, I don't remember much else about him, but I hope somehow they can narrow it down from my records since there's only one person I saw at that time and place. He made me feel suicidal for months and put me off therapy, I haven't been again since then.
Before that another psych shouted at me, etc and when I saw one in childhood he completely screwed me over listening to my family's lies. I was also let down by teachers severely at school, and a doctor in adulthood completely failed to diagnose several conditions, leaving me in agony when I was in a relationship with someone.
If any of these times, just one of these people hadn't let me down, my life could be completely different now.
Now I'm just broken, I feel too broken for relationships. It's a lot to explain to most people why I'm not satisfied with myself anymore, even if I'm resilient enough to get this far I'm not the person I should be. Anyone that would listen or understand, or if they've been in a similar place to me, I don't deserve anyway.
I've just finished writing a complaint to RCPUK about a psychiatrist that I saw a long while back, that laughed and asked where I enjoyed stuff that happened to me when I was younger and abducted. Sadly, I don't remember much else about him, but I hope somehow they can narrow it down from my records since there's only one person I saw at that time and place. He made me feel suicidal for months and put me off therapy, I haven't been again since then.
Before that another psych shouted at me, etc and when I saw one in childhood he completely screwed me over listening to my family's lies. I was also let down by teachers severely at school, and a doctor in adulthood completely failed to diagnose several conditions, leaving me in agony when I was in a relationship with someone.
If any of these times, just one of these people hadn't let me down, my life could be completely different now.
Now I'm just broken, I feel too broken for relationships. It's a lot to explain to most people why I'm not satisfied with myself anymore, even if I'm resilient enough to get this far I'm not the person I should be. Anyone that would listen or understand, or if they've been in a similar place to me, I don't deserve anyway.