Discussion Does anyone else feel like they never grew up?

[home]

I've known for awhile now but have been thinking about it more recently since the feeling has intensified. I feel like the moment you give up, time freezes. Like you're stuck in place while everyone else continues on ahead of you. Living.
Even when I did try to build myself a future, even when I did work to get better. Am I still the little kid that grew a distaste for life so many years ago? I think that when someone turns to suicide it's the same as dying. When someone dies, say at 20, they will stay 20 forever. Their time has stopped. When one turns to suicide the time for their soul stops. Only their body continues through, leaving them behind. There is no place for me in the future, you could hardly say I'm in the present. The moment I stopped wanting to live was the moment I lost my place in time.

 

[snowman626]

i watch everyone around me get jobs, get dates, get married, have kids, change jobs. and here i am 37yrs old and still feeling like im 16 having accomplished nothing. i cant attend family gatherings anymore because its too embarassing, everyone else is normal and im the only one so odd. i hate how people expect you to act "grown up" because you're an adult, but i still feel like im 14-16

 

[hungry_ghost]

i watch everyone around me get jobs, get dates, get married, have kids, change jobs. and here i am 37yrs old and still feeling like im 16 having accomplished nothing.

Saaame.

 

[LookingOverTheEdge]

i watch everyone around me get jobs, get dates, get married, have kids, change jobs. and here i am 37yrs old and still feeling like im 16 having accomplished nothing. i cant attend family gatherings anymore because its too embarassing, everyone else is normal and im the only one so odd. i hate how people expect you to act "grown up" because you're an adult, but i still feel like im 14-16

I mean this says it better than I think I could. I'm right there with you friend.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Yep. The chasm between me and others is unbridgeable at this point.

 

[tchaik18401893]

I feel like I am stuck in 2020. Probably because in the year 2020 my life had changed drastically. I am not myself anymore. I no longer have friends. I dont belong in society today. I dress strangely compared to the people around me. I dont use slang like other people do. I feel just stuck socially. Accept the fact that ive gone through so much depression ive lost my friends (probably a long time ago, around the beginning of 2021). And for some reason whenever someone would like to be friends with me, i am hostile without realizing it. Sorry… I am sidetracked…

 

[Regen]

Yes, I feel like a child or a teen, I am not sure. I was in university and found a job and have three kids. But I feel like 15. I feel disconnected to others. I wish I had a mum who cares for me and make decisions and organize food and holiday. I feel shame about that wish.

 

[vultureilse]

for me its because of trauma, ive lost my childhood and never got to experience what being a normal kid is like, so i never grew up. i dont want to be an adult

 

[Hollowman]

Definitely, my mental and chronological age don't match up.

 

[Fulminare]

I thought I was the only one. I try very hard to be an adult, but I feel like ever since my first suicide attempt, time stopped.

 

[yyytry]

i watch everyone around me get jobs, get dates, get married, have kids, change jobs. and here i am 37yrs old and still feeling like im 16 having accomplished nothing. i cant attend family gatherings anymore because its too embarassing, everyone else is normal and im the only one so odd. i hate how people expect you to act "grown up" because you're an adult, but i still feel like im 14-16

Almost the same. Except I have no family left.
They died. And I feel like a ghost left behind. I feel like my age stayed early 30s. But also 37

 

[Zegers]

Makes sense. I've known family members who were depressed for years and it's like their life is over since they got depressed and probably the same thing happened to me. But this happens to a lot of people, i've talk w people who feel adrift even if they don't have health problems. Everyone is different, the problem is that society wants robots, which, it will be able to have in some years.

 

[yyytry]

robots, which, btw, it will be able to have in some years.

Good. I hope the robots eat the rich

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Definitely, my mental and chronological age don't match up.

Feel the same. I feel like I'm about 10 years old. I don't know if I will ever be normal.

 

[Zegers]

If humans will have a better life because of robotic it would be welcome although i wouldn't like to be a mere human again.

 

[EternalOblivion]

I missed out on a lot of basic milestones growing up. It's to the point where I'm ashamed to be around anyone outside of my immediate family because I know I'm going to be judged harshly. Logically, I know there is no timetable for achieving more out of life, but I'm still overwhelmed by how behind I am. I've essentially spent over half my life caught in a loop.

 

[bluem00n]

It's called the Peter Pan Syndrome (Wikipedia), also Puer aeternus (the 'eternal boy'). The female equivalent is Puella aeternus.

A Puer aeternus is a psychological state quite distinct from a 'man-child', who'd be more of an immature 'Mommy's boy' who expects say, a woman to run around cleaning up behind him, whereas - whilst not necessarily child-like - a Puer aeternus is an adult male who maintains a naive / innocent view of the world, and actually takes pride in sustaining impossibly idealistic values far into adulthood.

To counter that, some cultures have initiation ceremonies designed to brutalise young males and in that way compel them to come to terms with the true nature of Reality (for example, one documentary I watched recently involved a group of 16-year-old boys being forced to slaughter their pet dogs, that had been their constant loyal companions since they were puppies).

The modern equivalent I guess, might be publicly-accessible gore sites, that include material that's several lightyears far beyond gawdawful viewing, but nevertheless act as effective mechanisms for shattering delusional aspirations for life to be somehow meaningful and devoid of suffering if you're a 'good' person.​

 

[Sakura94]

I feel I never had a youth

 

[savoytruffle]

i feel the exact same way

 

[Dark Moon]

i watch everyone around me get jobs, get dates, get married, have kids, change jobs. and here i am 37yrs old and still feeling like im 16 having accomplished nothing. i cant attend family gatherings anymore because its too embarassing, everyone else is normal and im the only one so odd. i hate how people expect you to act "grown up" because you're an adult, but i still feel like im 14-16

Nearly the same for me except I'm not that age yet and I can barely attend family gatherings.

 

[mojabaka]

Yeah I'm going to be 26 soon and still feel like a child.

 

[Sadgirldaisy]

Yes. My family constantly says "she should be able to do this by now, she's too old for this" etc etc. I offer so little to the world, I feel so helpless and just like I need to be taken care of because if not I'll screw it up.

 

[notthelifeiimagined]

Yep I still feel about 18 and I'm 35 this year

 

[lionetta12]

I've known for awhile now but have been thinking about it more recently since the feeling has intensified. I feel like the moment you give up, time freezes. Like you're stuck in place while everyone else continues on ahead of you. Living.
Even when I did try to build myself a future, even when I did work to get better. Am I still the little kid that grew a distaste for life so many years ago? I think that when someone turns to suicide it's the same as dying. When someone dies, say at 20, they will stay 20 forever. Their time has stopped. When one turns to suicide the time for their soul stops. Only their body continues through, leaving them behind. There is no place for me in the future, you could hardly say I'm in the present. The moment I stopped wanting to live was the moment I lost my place in time.

I don't know how this is like since I was neglected heavily as a child so I was forced to grow up and become independant and very responsible at a very young age. I feel older than everyone I know as a result to this and due to having experienced and accomplished more than most people I know at too young of an age. Kind of feels like my entire childhood and teenage years were robbed from me.