Does anyone else feel like they destroy anything they touch?

[CentreMid]

Metaphorically speaking, I destroy everything I touch and it's very discouraging. Between my relationship and finances, I just seem to make them worse despite my best efforts to keep them afloat. I can't tell if my partner loves me anymore, and I may be homeless in the near future if things don't start getting better.

It feels like I'm doing everything wrong and nothing I do will fix it. Every decision I make is always the bad one, even after careful planning and weighing my options. I've just accepted that I'm a screw-up and that dying by suicide is the only logical option to spare everyone from having to deal with me

Does anyone else feel this way?

 

[Sulyya]

Certainly. It feels awful when a lot of effort comes to apparently nothing at all, or to create a worse situation. A lot of the time even small accomplishments seem out of reach but that's what I focus on even if those often fail as well.

 

[darkangel44]

I have felt like this many times, I know how bad it is, but I believe almost every person on this planet is familiar with it. It happens when you are overwhelmed, and things get out of control, but usually there is a solution..text me if you want to

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Yeah I suck at life.

 

[リスカ]

I feel like I destroy every relationship I'm in. I usually get this anxious feeling that I did something wrong so I'll distance myself, but then that just ends up creating even more problems. I can't ever get it right.

 

[Tourniquet]

I do destroy almost everything I touch, but I'm very gifted in gardening all things, but I believe that's simply because of my obsession with botany, mycology, and drugs, because all the plants and fungi I grow are all drugs/psychoactive.

My late fiance died 4 months ago after taking drugs I paid for and gave her. I tried to save her but I was too late.
The day before that she had a miscarriage, we had been clean and sober but after losing the baby we both wanted to use.
Fentanyl and Crack cocaine.

I've destroyed my life, and I destroyed the person I loved more than anything in this whole world.

I'm homeless, and a convicted felon among other things.

I'm planning on overdosing as soon as I can get the money to order everything I need, this time around there's no chance of survival unless by some miracle God is real and decides to forcibly keep me alive which so far seems to be the case.

Cognitive dissonance sucks because I don't really believe that but my experience of reality keeps giving me experiences that seem to want to show me that there is a God.

But why with all the suffering and pain...
Ugh
I hate myself

Sorry for my negativity

 

[HeatedBlanket]

I can't think of anything that I've made better in almost a decade. I thought I was a good person and had a purpose. I don't know who I am anymore.

 

[CentreMid]

I do destroy almost everything I touch, but I'm very gifted in gardening all things, but I believe that's simply because of my obsession with botany, mycology, and drugs, because all the plants and fungi I grow are all drugs/psychoactive.

My late fiance died 4 months ago after taking drugs I paid for and gave her. I tried to save her but I was too late.
The day before that she had a miscarriage, we had been clean and sober but after losing the baby we both wanted to use.
Fentanyl and Crack cocaine.

I've destroyed my life, and I destroyed the person I loved more than anything in this whole world.

I'm homeless, and a convicted felon among other things.

I'm planning on overdosing as soon as I can get the money to order everything I need, this time around there's no chance of survival unless by some miracle God is real and decides to forcibly keep me alive which so far seems to be the case.

Cognitive dissonance sucks because I don't really believe that but my experience of reality keeps giving me experiences that seem to want to show me that there is a God.

But why with all the suffering and pain...
Ugh
I hate myself

Sorry for my negativity

That's alright. Thank you for sharing you story with me, and I'm sorry you've had to go through all of that! I do wish you the best of luck, and I hope you find peace.

 

[kiki <3]

i feel you. it goes beyond relationships at this point, doing everyday tasks is a nightmare - something always has to go wrong, something always ends up being broken and burned. i feel quite useless but i think this is just in my design, i can't help it

 

[downndone2]

Literally everything

 

[per_aspera_ad_astra]

Yeah, I feel tainted from within, it's like I'm spreading that taintedness everywhere I go in an attempt to make the world more accommodating to my miserable self. I almost feel like an enemy of beauty and goodness

 

[thisiswhoiam-]

I objectively make the worst decisions possible. For example I was in such a bad mental state that i gave away a ton of money to strangers(depressed and suicidal), then spent a fortune on a mental hospital, even though doctors said they can't help me, made every mistake in the book and lost even more money, developed health problems and can't solve them spending money i can't afford to anyway, now i can't even pay my taxes. In the end they will try to put a broke sick suicidal drug addict behind bars, so my life is basically over because of my decisions. I think i might have self-destructive tendencies to act this way perhaps, since it's like sabotaging yourself constantly. In the end it puts me in a spot where my life was always heading, downwards endlessly beyond the point of no return.
A lot of people's problems make them suffer a lot, but they are not unfixable. For me it was just always hopeless, without a way out.

 

[Amakishiyo]

Definitely feel like I'm just draining the life out of everyone I come into touch with and that they all would be better of without me, yet they tell me otherwise all the time but I feel like I know it's true.

 

[Borgrot]

Yep, I feel like I wouldn't hate it so much if I was deliberately trying to ruin everything in my life and the lives of others, but I'm trying so hard to be a good person and help people and it still goes catastrophically wrong over and over again. So the only conclusion I can draw is I'm just wrong as a human being.

 

[leeloosnow]

I think Bojack said it best...

"it doesn't get better and it doesn't get easier. i can't keep lying to myself saying i'm gonna change. i'm poison. i come from poison, i have poison inside me and i destroy everything i touch. that's my legacy. i have nothing to show for the life that i'd lived and i have nobody in my life who's better off having me."