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TheLastBoyOnEarth

Member
Jun 7, 2024
91
My therapist has told me that maybe all that I've been through could eventually make me stronger, and I don't feel like that's possible, at least in an immediate future.

I realized that all the trauma I've been through and my chronic pain condition I've had for the last ten years have actually made me weaker. I used to be a completely different person. Sometimes I feel like I'm fatally wounded by all of it already and I'm bleeding to death all this time waiting to die.

Does anyone else feel similar?
 
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Wormfood

Wormfood

I like people... I said it
May 23, 2022
131
yes. I feel like a dog hit by a car murmuring waiting for death
 
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A

Aloneandinpain

Student
Dec 25, 2023
123
Some experiences have made me stronger, others much weaker. Mostly I'm just tired.

I think a moderate amount of suffering from time to time can be beneficial, but I've suffered far too much without enough positives to make the suffering worthwhile.
 
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ijustwishtodie

ijustwishtodie

death will be my ultimate bliss
Oct 29, 2023
3,561
Yep, all of the pain that life has caused me has made me weaker, not stronger. Though I personally never wanted to participate in life to begin with
 
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Kavka

Kavka

Member
Jun 11, 2024
75
Yes, and I think every study on negative life experiences show a correlation with negative outcomes later in life. This is also my personal experience, although some negative experiences have made me trust my own abilities and thinking a little more. So maybe that is a silver lining.

People just love an inspiring hero's journey, where every negative life experience has a greater meaning and is a valuable lesson. This doesn't mean that your therapist is wrong, because it is of course possible that it will make you stronger eventually, but there is also a real possibility that it won't.
 
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Tesha

Tesha

Life too shall pass
May 31, 2020
690
Absolutely. My therapist likes the line - "you may not be the person you were, you may be different now, but you can learn to embrace the new you". Er, no. I actually liked who I was before thanks… I don't want to be this hyper vigilant, anxious, ineffectual piece of shit who's affected by flashbacks from childhood abuse.
 
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lost_ange2211

lost_ange2211

An angel who wants to go home..
May 29, 2024
145
I feel similar. Though i still think what your therapist said is true. If you manage to work through your traumas, get emotionally and mentally over them and can let them in the past you will be stronger than before. It will take long though, it's a process, a difficult one.
 
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Dot

Dot

Globl mod | Info abt typng styl on prfle.
Sep 26, 2021
2,651
Absolutely. My therapist likes the line - "you may not be the person you were, you may be different now, but you can learn to embrace the new you". Er, no. I actually liked who I was before thanks… I don't want to be this hyper vigilant, anxious, ineffectual piece of shit who's affected by flashbacks from childhood abuse.

Psychlgst sd simlr t/ slf

'U cld adjst t/ ur nw realty'

Slf nw realty = as a mute wh/ cnnt refr t/ slf in 1st persn & cnnt lk @ own reflctn or hnd-writng or wtch tv or listn t/ musc amng myriad of othr thngs
 
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P

Proteus

Oceanic Member
Feb 6, 2024
370
I don't know what people doesn't want to understand that trauma and abuse don't have a good effect in your mind, like, you wouldn't say someone who lost a limb that "leaving a weak part behind, their body will regenerate stronger" or some BS like that.

Trauma is an injury, but on the mind. Sometimes, you learn from it, and sometimes, you don't. Not everything is curable. IDK, looks pretty simple to me. 🤷‍♂
 
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Schnipsel

Schnipsel

Member
Jun 30, 2024
5
Yeah, definitely. I can't watch anything more emotionally demanding than children's shows alone nowadays without having a near breakdown, because it's just too much for me. (weirdly the only other thing is hurt/no comfort fics).

I can't handle stress without resorting to "yeeting", I can't handle people fighting around me without just starting to cry, I can't stand the thought of people being mad at me (which they often it later turns out never wore, i was just imagining it again) and will do the wildest shit because of that. I have so little energy/spoons I can barely take care of myself often times.

EDIT: I always appreciate recommendations for "emotionally easy" (e.g. fluff, comfy stuff, etc.) books or shows. :3
 
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etherealgoddess

etherealgoddess

perseverance is inevitable success
Dec 8, 2022
150
My therapist has told me that maybe all that I've been through could eventually make me stronger, and I don't feel like that's possible, at least in an immediate future.

I realized that all the trauma I've been through and my chronic pain condition I've had for the last ten years have actually made me weaker. I used to be a completely different person. Sometimes I feel like I'm fatally wounded by all of it already and I'm bleeding to death all this time waiting to die.

Does anyone else feel similar?
Honestly, I had a really shit position for years, but I'm finally making it out of the rubble. I think this statement has really been a big thing: you can only see the stars when you're in the dark. When I had everything for granted, I didn't appreciate it. But now that I'm rebuilding, not only do I appreciate it more but overcoming that resistance made me stronger so at some point when I finally break even with the resistance, I'll have a lot more momentum to soar higher after. I think we all run into obstacles. It's just we've happened to sooner. ALSO: disclosure, this will NOT apply to everyone because I am an able-bodied person with certain privileges many people don't have.
 
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Dark Moon

Dark Moon

Wizard
Sep 21, 2022
677
Bad experiences and traumas weakened me mentally to the point of being suicidal and on this website. It just chips away at your mental state and I can't just forget or have resilience for everything because it doesn't work like that.
 
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RosebyAnyName

RosebyAnyName

Staring at the ceiling for 6 hours
Nov 9, 2023
123
I know they have. Bad experiences have only ever led to bad outcomes that repeat themselves any time I'm reminded of them.
 
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sugarb

sugarb

long time sunshine
Jun 14, 2024
128
My therapist has told me that maybe all that I've been through could eventually make me stronger, and I don't feel like that's possible, at least in an immediate future.

I realized that all the trauma I've been through and my chronic pain condition I've had for the last ten years have actually made me weaker. I used to be a completely different person. Sometimes I feel like I'm fatally wounded by all of it already and I'm bleeding to death all this time waiting to die.

Does anyone else feel similar?
I'm "stronger" in the sense that I can deal with those same difficulties and trauma if they arise again better due to experience but overall I'm much worse off. Sort of like getting shot in the kneecap; if it happens again you'd know what to expect and ways of dealing with it but you're also crippled and will still probably feel it and be grievously injured
 
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eatantz

eatantz

I luv dolls
Nov 4, 2023
518
I've become an oversensitive cry-baby, everything upsets me and I'm weak mentally.
 
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Felodese

Felodese

Student
Mar 31, 2024
191
If this was true, and me having been depressed since childhood, I aught to have superhuman powers by now....
Trauma, mental illness, and just a shitload of emotional pain has not made me strong.
Also the concept of becoming stronger than before by going through trauma really doesn't apply to those of us who don't really have a "before". I mean, what am I supposed to compare it to, wheather I'm stronger than I was when I was four years old..?
And since the depression is chronic and I don't really see how I would be able to truly "recover" - plus the fact that 95% of the time I just want to ctb and be done with it all, rather than spending an enormous amout of time and effort on getting a tiny bit better - I very much doubt I will have an "after" to comepare my 4 year old "strength" with...
 
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cryone

cryone

Student
Nov 23, 2023
187
for sure. i think trauma can certainly make a person stronger, but that's if the person was already strong to begin with. difficulties can help a person, but only in regulation where they don't snowball. insecurities and a miserable homelife only led to severe suicidal ideation for yrs. ive kind of healed, but i doubt i can ever be how i was before. and before wasn't even that good either, lmao.
 
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Z

zaza23

New Member
Apr 14, 2024
3
Tbh I am fed up of people telling me it made me stronger. It didn't. My brain tolerated what was happening because I was too traumatised to process it. I continued to crack on with life because my brain was too overwhelmed to process the trauma. By a certain age your body can't cope and it all comes spilling out in mental breakdowns, diagnoses, physical conditions that can be accelerated by stress and chronic fatigue. It did not make me stronger. It gave me unhealthy coping mechanisms and in a constant cycle of some form of what-level-of-insanity-am-i-at-today mental breakdowns. Not stronger, just bloody exhausted
 
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I

Ihoujin

Member
Jul 4, 2024
31
Not necessairly stronger but I embraced humility. Hardships, traumas and suffering forced me to surrender my ego, wiped a lot of my desires and dreams. People who abused me in some way were doing me a favor by crushing me. Made me a better human being in a way and I'm grateful for that.

I'm grateful I could learn where lied my mistake, for compassion and for realization that without another human being you mean nothing. Yet still I'm full of faults and misdeeds.
 
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m4rius

m4rius

Student
Dec 23, 2022
107
I see traumas as giving me a sense of wisdom and experience. Other than that, they're fucking useless.

Trauma leads to behaviors and feelings that are counterproductive to survival. From freezing in emergencies to acting irrationally, avoiding life, and even harming ourselves—trauma can be extremely counterproductive, and very often it is.

Trauma itself has killed so many people through suicide and homicides. The notion that trauma is something we require is laughable, yeah if you're incapable of thinking through things then have your brain be a nanny and remind you. Other than that, our brains are outdated for our modern standards of living; it's not all about finding sustenance and reproducing anymore. There's more to life now besides hunter-gathering. Jesus fuck.

It's too intense, I wish it wasn't.
 
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B

b_adr

Member
Mar 29, 2024
38
This definitely does not apply to any physical injuries / medical issues. On the contrary, even after the injury has healed, there is always some scar tissue or other aftermath. In this way, your body accumulates "memories of injuries" (at a cellular level).
 
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