Discussion Does anyone else feel guilty about wanting CTB?

[gentleflower]

I only think of CTB when I am having a breakdown and I am emotional enough to one day actually go through with it during one. My mother told me that it would kill her to lose me, so yes, the thought makes me feel incredibly guilty, even more so because my whole family is convinced that I am leading the perfect life and do not even have any reason at all to feel bad.

 

[CelestialSky]

Yes, definitely feel guilty. I know how much it's gonna fuck up my family & friends. I wish there was another way, but I've tried everything and can't be fixed. But I've got to a point where I need to just be selfish, I can't continue living! I hope that somehow they'll know that I'm at peace, and therefore they will get peace in return. (A long shot, but I'm gonna hold on to it!)

 

[ForgottenSara]

No, I don't give a fuck about their grievin, they can rot in the deepest pits of hell, every single of them.
In fact, the more impact my death will cause, the better. Even if I won't be able to gain satisfaction from it.

 

[throwaway123]

I think everyone here feels guilty. It never goes aways completely.....It's just something you have to accept.

 

[Gina]

Not anymore, I thought my family loved me and would help me if I hit rock bottom.I faced reality HEAD ON, everyone turns their backs and talk about me, I wish I could pass my cowardliness and ctb.

 

[SHThrowAway213]

Yes, only about what it would do to my partner. He has put so much into helping me with my mental health, and he will be the one to find me if I try hanging myself again.
He said he would do it too if I do it, but I don't know if he's been serious or if he's trying to guilt trip me into staying.