Venting Does anyone else fear death?

[imanaya]

I know that life is shit and that non-existence is better than existence. And I can't stand my life anymore.
But at the same time I fear death. I fear death so much that I don't want to die even though I want to die. I just wish I could stop existing. But even if I had a button that would make me disappear after pressing it, I know that I would not press it. Because I'm a pussy that fears death for no reason.
The thought that my consciousness will cease to exist and that I will not be able to think anymore is scaring me, even though I know that it would be better. My fear is illogical.
Some people seem to think that death is like an eternal sleep, but that isn't true. I wish I could believe it, but I can't. Death is not like sleeping, because you won't dream or think like you do in sleep. You just don't exist anymore.

I just wish I would have never been born at all. If I would have been aborted, I would not have to think about any of this.

 

[Silent Raindrops]

I don't fear death. I'm actually looking forward to it.

 

[LastLoveLetter]

A fear of death is understandable and not only that, ingrained and instinctual. You're not a coward for being afraid of it, and I agree with you that realistically, it isn't some kind of eternal slumber. This kind of romantic language surrounding death is way of coming to terms with it for many, I suspect. I myself have likened death to sleep in the past but recognise this isn't actually accurate at all. It's just the closest frame of reference the living often have, to something that can't be truly imagined.

Personally, what I fear isn't death but dying. There's an important distinction there as I don't fear what happens after I die, because I won't be here. But I fear that process. The potential pain, the feeling of my heart working overtime to keep me alive, the utter fear, the feeling of my consciousness slipping away. Logically, it's a few minutes of discomfort in exchange for...an eternity of nothing. And any pain probably isn't comparable to the pain I've survived whilst alive. But still, I can't help but be scared. And that's okay.

There's also the fact that, I have chosen to die because life is unsustainable. Not because I think death is somehow desirable. It's a need as opposed to a want. I don't want to die. But can't continue for potentially decades like this, either. So, trauma, chronic illnesses and circumstances have forced my hand. That wish things didn't turn out this way - that I didn't have to die to be free from this pain and deterioration - will surely fuel this fear to some extent.

I'm sorry you're struggling with what brought you to the point that you can't stand being here, and I'm sorry you're afraid. It's a weird sort of limbo to be in - being afraid of life for the suffering it has brought and can continue to bring, and simultaneously being afraid of death and everything it represents. Wanting to die and also not wanting to die. I empathise and you're far from a pussy, but rather a human and a suffering one at that.

 

[february in alaska]

I'm scared of death too. What's helped me a lot is just the simple knowledge that one way or another, I'm going to die anyway and that's a certainty. In that way, death isn't something we "choose"— all we get to choose is when it happens and how long we spend here

I think about the billions of people who have died across history and the billions of people who are alive today who are all going to die. As horrible as it is, I think about beloved pets and innocent children who've died… because if they could go through the transition after life, I feel like I can handle it too

I don't know if I believe in an afterlife. I've always been the most annoying atheist on the planet, I've never believed in god, I've pretty much scoffed at the idea of heaven or hell. But these days, even though I doubt it's out there, I like to think that the afterlife is nice. I really hope it is. My heart goes out to you, stranger. I hope you find your peace

 

[imanaya]

A fear of death is understandable and not only that, ingrained and instinctual. You're not a coward for being afraid of it, and I agree with you that realistically, it isn't some kind of eternal slumber. This kind of romantic language surrounding death is way of coming to terms with it for many, I suspect. I myself have likened death to sleep in the past but recognise this isn't actually accurate at all. It's just the closest frame of reference the living often have, to something that can't be truly imagined.

Personally, what I fear isn't death but dying. There's an important distinction there as I don't fear what happens after I die, because I won't be here. But I fear that process. The potential pain, the feeling of my heart working overtime to keep me alive, the utter fear, the feeling of my consciousness slipping away. Logically, it's a few minutes of discomfort in exchange for...an eternity of nothing. And any pain probably isn't comparable to the pain I've survived whilst alive. But still, I can't help but be scared. And that's okay.

There's also the fact that, I have chosen to die because life is unsustainable. Not because I think death is somehow desirable. It's a need as opposed to a want. I don't want to die. But can't continue for potentially decades like this, either. So, trauma, chronic illnesses and circumstances have forced my hand. That wish things didn't turn out this way - that I didn't have to die to be free from this pain and deterioration - will surely fuel this fear to some extent.

I'm sorry you're struggling with what brought you to the point that you can't stand being here, and I'm sorry you're afraid. It's a weird sort of limbo to be in - being afraid of life for the suffering it has brought and can continue to bring, and simultaneously being afraid of death and everything it represents. Wanting to die and also not wanting to die. I empathise and you're far from a pussy, but rather a human and a suffering one at that.

I'm scared of death too. What's helped me a lot is just the simple knowledge that one way or another, I'm going to die anyway and that's a certainty. In that way, death isn't something we "choose"— all we get to choose is when it happens and how long we spend here

I think about the billions of people who have died across history and the billions of people who are alive today who are all going to die. As horrible as it is, I think about beloved pets and innocent children who've died… because if they could go through the transition after life, I feel like I can handle it too

I don't know if I believe in an afterlife. I've always been the most annoying atheist on the planet, I've never believed in god, I've pretty much scoffed at the idea of heaven or hell. But these days, even though I doubt it's out there, I like to think that the afterlife is nice. I really hope it is. My heart goes out to you, stranger. I hope you find your peace

Thank you for these kind words

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

Death is inevitable . Death is non-existence forever. I don't fear not existing. I fear unbearable pain and that can only happen while alive.

We all didn't exist for 13.9 billion years... I had no problems all that time. The problems began for me when I was born
.

When not existing you won't know you're dead nor anything ever. How can something that doesn't exist have fear pain regret problems suffering? It's impossible. Only the brain creates unbearable pain and suffering

 

[mortuarymary]

Probably not death but what comes after.

 

[DesperateOne]

A fear of death is understandable and not only that, ingrained and instinctual. You're not a coward for being afraid of it, and I agree with you that realistically, it isn't some kind of eternal slumber. This kind of romantic language surrounding death is way of coming to terms with it for many, I suspect. I myself have likened death to sleep in the past but recognise this isn't actually accurate at all. It's just the closest frame of reference the living often have, to something that can't be truly imagined.

Personally, what I fear isn't death but dying. There's an important distinction there as I don't fear what happens after I die, because I won't be here. But I fear that process. The potential pain, the feeling of my heart working overtime to keep me alive, the utter fear, the feeling of my consciousness slipping away. Logically, it's a few minutes of discomfort in exchange for...an eternity of nothing. And any pain probably isn't comparable to the pain I've survived whilst alive. But still, I can't help but be scared. And that's okay.

There's also the fact that, I have chosen to die because life is unsustainable. Not because I think death is somehow desirable. It's a need as opposed to a want. I don't want to die. But can't continue for potentially decades like this, either. So, trauma, chronic illnesses and circumstances have forced my hand. That wish things didn't turn out this way - that I didn't have to die to be free from this pain and deterioration - will surely fuel this fear to some extent.

I'm sorry you're struggling with what brought you to the point that you can't stand being here, and I'm sorry you're afraid. It's a weird sort of limbo to be in - being afraid of life for the suffering it has brought and can continue to bring, and simultaneously being afraid of death and everything it represents. Wanting to die and also not wanting to die. I empathise and you're far from a pussy, but rather a human and a suffering one at that.

Amazingly put and you seem like a wonderful person! I'm afraid of that as well. The feeling of your body actually realizing that you are about to die and consciousness slipping away is going to inevitably give you a shit ton of terror/anxiety, but after you go through all of that I believe that there is peace and acceptance at end of it. This might just be my cope, but I genuinely feel like bliss is waiting for me at end.

 

[Rational man]

I spent my youth fearing death and now in hindsight, I realise that I wasnt living fully because of fear. I fear death no more and it took an incurable illnessn to remove that fear. My life may end today by illness as it could for anyone because knowone can guarantee tomorrow. My neighbour was found dead in his chair two- Weeks ago by a suspected heart failure..He was youngish and fit. So life is impermanence and the sooner our conditioned society talks openly about death, the more we can appreciate the time we do have.

 

[4everDone]

Definitely not. It's a natural process and there is not much to be afraid of. The only factor for me would be fear but since the mental anguish is way worse, I will definitely choose a few seconds of struggle for eternal freedom. Life in general is crap unless you were never introduced to the pain because all you will do is teach others what pain is. Also I don't want to sound selfish, and my life is not definitely better, but just by looking at some people I often think who do they exist? Having no real purpose and just serving someone, I'm talking about people with very dog like behavior. Servants who don't even understand what they are serving for and they make it their lives purpose. Of course everyone can live how they like - that's exactly why I choose death.

 

[Doemu]

Don't push yourself. Trust me you don't want to suffer enough to don't care about death anymore.

 

[Gonnerr]

I fear more to be older , alone and in more pain , that's why i will beat SI at some point.

When there is nothing good ahead , ctb is the best and most logical solution.

 

[sserafim]

I don't fear death, but it's understandable why someone would fear it. For me, the only thing I fear is surviving an attempt. I'm terrified of failing, I'd hate to be left with permanent damage and then to have everyone know about my struggles is even worse. It would be mortifying for me, I would hate to have my vulnerabilities exposed on this level.

Personally, I much prefer death to adulthood, middle age, and old age. For me, there's just nothing worth living or looking forward to in these stages of life. I feel like I was meant to die young, I always envisioned myself doing so, and I will. I look forward to death because it would bring me the rest and peace that I desire.

 

[Guy Smiley]

Yes, definitely. I believe it is human nature to fear death. and the vast majority of people, even suicidal people, do. There are some people who perhaps truly don't fear it, but I have a strong suspicion that a lot of people who say they are not afraid would very quickly realize how wrong they are if they were actually faced with imminent death. A person can want to die and fear death at the same time. I think that is very common.

 

[KANCEL]

I fear the literal part of dying, but not death.

 

[tsumihoroboshi]

I fear more the "nothingness" after. If there is an "After". I fear not being conscious. I'm so used to being conscious and awake that when I really really start to have thoughts when I become too self-aware of my own existence, thoughts like, "Oh, God. I'm gonna die someday. I'm really gonna die. It's just gonna crash," but something that helps a little to quell the fear of the inevitable, is remembering that I didn't always exist! There were decades and decades and hundreds and thousands of years where I didn't exist! What did that feel like, I wonder? Well, it felt like nothing! I didn't experience it.

Death is truly only scary for me because of how used I am to thinking and feeling things, and even though I feel very minimal amounts of joy in my life, knowing the time will come that I can't enjoy my favourite things anymore also gives me some panic. However, again. I didn't always have these things I enjoyed and most of these things didn't always exist either.

It helps me to remember I wasn't always here and there were people that existed before me and also died before me, too. We never met. I'm very agnostic so I'm comforted by the thought of an afterlife, but also very fearful of still having some consciousness after death at all. So, I kind of fear something and nothing at the same time.

I'm still working on it.

 

[divinemistress36]

I only fear the pain that comes with dying but death itself and being free of suffering sounds amazing

 

[Barkhan]

In fact, I used to be afraid of death for these reasons too. Because I couldn't imagine what it would be like not to exist. But then I thought, what exactly could all this mean? Think for yourself: is it possible to return from this state back to reality and begin to perceive something again? No? But you already came from there once. In childhood. Why can't this happen again? This may take an incredible amount of time. But it is not important. Subjectively, it will happen instantly, and one day you will exist and have a subjective experience. In short, no matter how long the period of non-existence takes, subjectively it will pass instantly. It seems to me that people in ancient times were guided by similar reasoning when they came up with the concept of reincarnation

 

[Patches]

It isn't dying that fears me. Rather how I die. I would prefer to die in my sleep, seeing how I have asthma and sleep apnia it could very well be the case.

What fears me about ending my own life is making mistakes.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I personally don't fear death. I fear dying instead due to how it's possible for an attempt to go horribly wrong. If dying was easy to do, I wouldn't fear it. However, since dying is hard, I do fear it

 

[J&L383]

LastLoveLetter. . (So well said).

 

[xmissellax]

I don't fear death but I absolutely fear the dying process. I would say I have almost a phobic stance on it? It's actually a large part of the reason I want to CTB. I fear dying a painful and slow death from illness, being out of my control without adequate pain management, I would rather do it myself than go through that suffering. A big part of it is watching my dad deteriorate painfully from cancer over 2 years. Hospice didn't give him adequate pain management as they're only allowed to go so high on morphine, they need to cover themsleves so high dose of morphine can't be seen as cause of death. My mum recently got cancer and I have recently deteriorated with chronic health which is only going to get worse. So for me, I am absolutely terrified of dying, but not death itself. If there was a button I could push that could guarantee a painless, immediate death, I would press it in a heartbeat. Researching methods has me feeling anxious as every single one seems hard to execute successfully.

 

[The Schizoid]

I'm 99.9% sure that all that follows death is a loss of consciousness/experience and that's it. It's the same as before you were born.

 

[UnrepentantSunrise]

Probably not death but what comes after.

this. so much this