Venting Does anyone chronically think about the past?

[daydreamer52]

I do, I live in the past, I'm a very nostalgic person and I reminisce about past memories A LOT, I can't explain how much I despise when someone talks in future tense or asks me something stupid like "where do you see yourself in 5 years?", they don't know I'm gonna be dead before this year ends, or at least that's my plan, I don't see myself alive next year. I remember there was a time in my life where I was happy and I always go back to it, wishing nothing ever had changed, wishing I hadn't changed, I think life is cool and everything, there's a lot of things worth living for but it's just not my thing, does anybody else feel this way? I feel completely alienated from everyone and everything around me except my cat, I want to die soo badly I want to stop being me I want to stop thinking, life should be optional and we should have the option to stop living anytime we want, like if it was a game "do you wish to continue existing?" And when you say no you would just desintegrate. I cry at night when I remember I'm me, I really hate myself I don't think I would want to kill myself if I wasn't me.

 

[blacksand]

Constantly. Absolutely constantly. Each date basically has a list of things attached to it that happened X years ago and I feel great pain thinking about that time having passed. I'm not even nostalgic at all about childhood or teens, just early to mid 20s really and the boundless opportunity I had and squandered.

 

[grungy自殺]

Often...

All the time.

It always leads back to my failures as a being of this so called society that i wasn't been able to have a proper memory that i've felt satisfied ever.. in my own life or existence you could say
What i mean is that i would dwell on moments that i wished they were actually curated to their absolute potential, but the issue is that those major moments (like the ones irl would say are the bare minimum, going out with friends on a group planned thing or times in school where you can have the absolute best laughs ever with friends that would make jokes, humor to make others laugh their asses off across the cafeteria table) never ever come and i always be left with dissatisfaction on the fact that i couldn't be nurtured around people that would give me the time of day without me posturing every single time

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I relive my ample trauma all day long

 

[deathisapanacea]

I am living in the summer of year 2000 for the last 25 years. I can't and don't want to move to the present.

 

[Hermitcrab]

All the time. Other people are out there moving on with their life and gaining new experiences while I'm just stuck here recycling old ones. Daydreaming about wasted potential, missed opportunities and all the things that could've been... I'm sure those memories have now been long forgotten by the people involved with them, drowned out by new ones. And it's just me holding onto them, treasuring them since they're all I have.

 

[deathisapanacea]

All the time. Other people are out there moving on with their life and gaining new experiences while I'm just stuck here recycling old ones. Daydreaming about wasted potential, missed opportunities and all the things that could've been... I'm sure those memories have now been long forgotten by the people involved with them, drowned out by new ones. And it's just me holding onto them, treasuring them since they're all I have.

OMG !! You sound like you hacked into my brain waves. This is 100% what I am thinking. I stalk(benign way) a lot of my childhood crushes on facebook. They all seem happy and prosperous. One time, one of them posted an old pic of her with the caption "Past was Great but future is even better". I felt it was targeted at me lol. I am such a loser. But over the past few months I have reconciled with the fact that some people are just meant to be a useless bum like me.

I do, I live in the past, I'm a very nostalgic person and I reminisce about past memories A LOT, I can't explain how much I despise when someone talks in future tense or asks me something stupid like "where do you see yourself in 5 years?", they don't know I'm gonna be dead before this year ends, or at least that's my plan, I don't see myself alive next year. I remember there was a time in my life where I was happy and I always go back to it, wishing nothing ever had changed, wishing I hadn't changed, I think life is cool and everything, there's a lot of things worth living for but it's just not my thing, does anybody else feel this way? I feel completely alienated from everyone and everything around me except my cat, I want to die soo badly I want to stop being me I want to stop thinking, life should be optional and we should have the option to stop living anytime we want, like if it was a game "do you wish to continue existing?" And when you say no you would just desintegrate. I cry at night when I remember I'm me, I really hate myself I don't think I would want to kill myself if I wasn't me.

I am just daydreaming the fuck out of my life, at this point. I've realized that I don't have it in me to achieve greatness in the real world. The best I can do is fantasize.